Why are people so polarized on issues like co-sleeping...?

Question

and breastfeeding. People automatically assume because I dont breastfeed that I chose to do it out of "selfishness" and i put my baby in a crib because I dont want to be "attached". Whatever happened to people supporting each other as parents, appreciating their differences, and realizing we're all just trying to raise happy, wel-adjusted, healthy kids in a way that is best for each one of us. I planned on breastfeeding and didnt produce milk because of previous surgery, I was devasted. On top of that my daughter had severe jaundice and they made me start supplementing with formula in the hospital while I was trying to breastfeed.

Do you know how it feels as a mother to have the so-called 'breastfeeding natzis' imply I dont want the best for my child or that I'm lazy!?! Why cant we just help others with similar rearing techniques and not use this as a forum to spew propaganda that makes you better than me or any other mom you do not agree with?

adrianne, I'm glad you helped illustrate my point SO beautifully! I'm not a MORON, I'm saying I KNOW that breast is best but if it can happen for medical reasons OR because of choice then a mother shouldnt be persecuted and be made to feel like shes "less than" or doesnt want the best for her kids! I want educational toys, a balanced diet, I dont let her "cry it out", etc....shes happy, healthy(knock on wood----no illness at ALL in 8 months), formula fed, loves her crib and independant play, but loves her mommy and me time(Kindermusik and afternoon walks).

Answer 1

A lot of mothers are insensitive. I know what you mean about polarized view points, I have been there myself.

Personally, I think I am a "middle of the road" kind of parent. I breastfed because I was lucky enough to be able to. I didn't circumcise my son because I left it up to my hubby and he said no! lol I wasn't going to co-sleep, but I did for the first two months because it was the only way I could sleep! lol I made these choices and did these thing with my son, but I was never crazy passionate about them like some women get lol

In my opinion, I think some women become mothers and suddenly find themselves at home with nothing to do all day but take care of their children. They become intellectually "unchallenged" in their daily life and therefore adopt a cause to be insanely passionate about just to feel like they have a purpose in life aside from changing diapers! haha

Don't feel bad about formula feeding. Some women don't have any other choice! My mother was unable to breastfeed as well because she had a brain tumor on her pituitary gland...and I turned out just fine!

Answer 2

Well said my dear !!!!!!! I also cant breastfeed FOR MEDICAL reasons, However it doesn't matter if its medical or just the woman's choice. I had 2 children that took formula, and my 3rd one will be too when she is born. Yeah Breast is best, However Formula is NOT unsafe or unhealthy for them. Both my kids are happy healthy kids.

I agree Adrianne Is an Idiot and that's why we are having this discussion, people like her. I give my children the very best, My breast milk would not be best to them......It doesnt mean you love your children any less because they are not on breast milk. Get over yourself Adrianne.

We should support other mothers not bash them because they dont do everything as you do. The whole goal is to raise happy healthy children.

Answer 3

I think that many people feel the need to justify their own choices by imposing them on others. There are also some out there that feel the need to read every up to date magazine with the latest suggestions by the latest doctors and that makes them feel like they are better moms because of it. And then there are the tried and true moms that believe that if it worked for their parents then it is fine for their children. I totally feel your pain- I had breast reduction between my first and second child and never had proper milk flow either. And on top of it my second child had cleft lip and palate so we could not breast feed her unless I pumped on fresh scars. But I got to a point where I would either tell them off and tell them to get a life and live it their way or I would nod and say whatever.... We are all entitled to our own opinion and way of doing things.

Answer 4

You're a woman, I'm a woman. One thing we must never forget is that for some reason we are always in competition. It's petty and ridiculous but it's true. We're either competing over a promotion, man, or to be the best mom out there. I co-sleep with my girls. Their father works nights so why wouldn't I? I love snuggling up with them in bed watching a movie right before bed. Oh, there's my second bad point; I allow my children to watch television. My girls were also formula fed. I couldn't produce. Instead of trying harder and having my nipples practically ripped off, I just decided hey they aren't getting anything anyway, why torture myself over it...Once we have children we use them in our competitions. It's sad isn't it?

Answer 5

It could truthfully be the excellent possibility for youngster/daddy bonding too, to have her sleep subsequent to him all night time and study his odor. If you are involved approximately being intimate with him with youngster within the mattress, discover a position to position her wherein she would possibly not think lonely after which carry her to mattress afterwards for the night time. From what I have learn such a lot young ones will wish to have their possess mattress when they get to be a yr or 2 ancient. If you particularly wish to transport her to her possess mattress, I could begin now by way of having her take naps in her possess mattress (crib to start with), and progressively modify her to sound asleep there always. She will mainly be dissatisfied to start with, however with persistence and love you'll make the transfer. But I could endorse letting her cosleep whilst daddy will get house (speak about it with him first, he could wish the possibility for bonding together with her, and he would aid with feeds too), they develop up so rapid.

Answer 6

for co-sleeping tho i find it to be a wonderful experience and a great for helping baby regulate breathing and heart rate...i understand the choice not to...i do not understand the choice to let your child cry it out i think its wrong but that is my opinion...

as for breastfeeding breast is best and if you choose for other reasons then medical well you chose to not do thee best. what do you expect others to think after they struggle and strive and put their all into giving their children the very best they can...and then they see others just give into the second rate so easily or for their convenience.... it's sad the norm now a days is second rate and I'm glad their are "breastfeeding Nazi's" out in the world because it will be them who make the difference informing women and trying to help women do the right thing for their little ones

when i look back on raising my children i want to truly be able to say i did thee best i could with what i had and the knowledge i had at the time...and if i choose to do anything but the best well i wont be able to say that

Answer 7

I agree with you, you are right.