my bf of 2 years hit me last month and we broke up..he called me back and i gave him a second chance and he did it again. I still love him..what should I do. I think he will change...
2007-03-27 08:46:53 · 30 answers · asked by CrazyChic86 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know he loves me but he flips out when he is mad and blames everything on me.
I dont know what to do. i feel so lost. i cant stop thinking about it.
2007-03-27 08:49:33 · update #1
I am going to be 21 next month. I feel like he was the one. I feel like i will never find someone else that will like me..
2007-03-27 08:50:20 · update #2
he will neva be the man u need or want..u deserve better trust me from experience..theres no respect there so even if the hitting stops something else will occur...good luck sweetie!
2007-03-27 08:51:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guys like this never change. You already tried giving him a 2nd chance and he did it again. I have never raised a hand against a women, and will not as long as I live. I absolutely know I don't have it in me. But he obviously does have it in him, and by you taking him back you are saying it's okay. And it will only continue to get worse! There are so many available guys in the world - I never understand why a girl would stay with someone that is abusive. The first time you couldn't have known, and you did the right thing by breaking up with him. The 2nd time you showed yourself to be a compassionate, forgiving, and loving person that is willing to give someone a 2nd chance. But now?? Taking him back now will enter the "stupidity" realm. Sad to say, you will only be asking for what he is about to do to you. Run away and find a decent guy!! We are out here - and we take our aggessions out in video games or sports! NOT WOMEN!!!!
2007-03-27 15:52:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you have endured this relationship for 2 years to have this happen. But let me tell you this from personal experience. Everyone says they would "never let that happen" and the offender "would be out the door in a New York minute". Until you are actually faced with the reality of the situation, you really DO NOT know how you would react. You simply know what you would like to THINK you would do. He has some serious control issues, and you have probably turned a blind eye for a very long time until the physical aspect reared its ugly head.
I was in a similar boat 2 years ago. I had dated a man for 6 months, and once he moved in with me after losing his job, I saw first hand what his life was really like. He was an abuser of everything. Drugs, alcohol, and me. I put up with the abuse for about 3 long months before some friends removed him from my home. Shortly thereafter, he claimed he had a "revelation" and was clean. I allowed him to come back into my life. Luckily for me, the next time he put his hands on me, we were at his family's house, and his father ran him right out the door. I haven't spoken to him since.
You need to be strong, and don't be afraid to lean on your friends. Be honest with them--let them know what's going on with your life and explain that you need them to help keep you strong. The only shot your ex has at redemption is some serious counseling, and even that is not a guarantee that it won't happen again. You might also benefit from counseling if you don't feel strong enough on your own. Again, don't be afraid to ask for help, and please please be honest...with your friends and with yourself. If one person can be helped by my story, that would be the silver lining in my dark cloud.
2007-03-27 16:01:50 · answer #3 · answered by Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me tell you something. I was once in that position and I was nearly killed. I was in the hospital for a month. I thought that he was the only one for me and i thought he loved me and afte a while...i stopped and thought about it. If he loved me he would never had hit me. I over came that and it's been almost two years and i am happy with the guy i am with now. There's someone out there for everyone. He's not the only one. He's put his filthy hands on you and you call that love? I can't down on you cause i thought someone that hit me loved me too...but it seems like you have to love yourself first. Take care of yourself and be yourself. Your going to be 21. You still have a whole lot of life. Don't let it be shorten for anyone!
2007-03-27 16:02:07 · answer #4 · answered by ♥Miss Self-Sufficient 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Statistics show that most men who abuse once will always do it again. So many women out there think they can change an abuser, that he will quit hitting them if they keep loving them and it just isnt true. You are much better off getting out while you still can and before he does some serious injury to you. One time might be a mistake, but a second time this soon is not, I am afraid his true colors are showing.
2007-03-27 15:51:01 · answer #5 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, I grew up with an abusive father and let me tell you, he won't change. My mother was never able to leave him. Please don't make the same mistake. There are plenty of wonderful men out there- men who will respect you and your body and would never physically harm you. I know it seems like he's the only one for you, but this is just not the case. If he were, would he hit you? And think about your potential children. Do you want them hit also? Do you want that kind of father figure in their life? I know it's hard. Talk to your friends, get support from them. You are way too good for this person.
2007-03-27 15:56:36 · answer #6 · answered by Emmie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the best thing u can do now is leaving him since u have the chance to do that !!
but if u gave a chance again he will hit u again coz he thinks that every time he say sorry or something u will forgive him,and if u say that u know he loves u then u need to ask urself u do he hit????
but if u belive in him and u believe that he can change , i really think its great but the question u need to ask ur self is (are u sure that u' re ready to get kicked every week or day??)
any way..
GO0d luck^^
2007-03-27 15:59:45 · answer #7 · answered by mimi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do him yourself and all of society a favor get away from him.
Don't look back.
Don't wait until he has done irriversable damage to you.
It is a time bomb that if you don't stay away will end up with you in the hospital never to be the same again and he will be in prison.
If you love him. Go as quickly as you can. Do not tell him you are leaving get your self to safty.
If he continues to call change the number.
If he is with in seeing distance get a restraining order.
2007-03-27 15:56:12 · answer #8 · answered by granny_sp 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hun..you should let him go...he probably doesnt love you...he just uses it as an excuse to have someone to take his anger out on...not everything should be your fault..if you let this continue you will end up getting hurt more so than you are now. not only physically but mentally...he will make you feel horrible until you start believing everything is your fault..plus if he truly loved you..he would never hit you or try to harm you in any way...has he even apologized for hitting you? or let me guess he blamed it on you for being your fault...let him go..its the best thing you can do..
hope this helps..and good luck..
2007-03-27 15:53:51 · answer #9 · answered by Alex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may think he has changed when really he has not. If is abusive toward you then most likely he will stay that way even if he says he loves you and wont do it again. Also you might say you like him now but when he does it again you will realize that you are worth so much more. Consider being with other people because he clearly is not worth your time.
2007-03-27 15:54:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was just like you, you know to be honest with you i really loved this person too and i gave him sooo many chances and i stayed with this person for 3 yrs and he never changed. If you want to be happy you have to leave him or tell him to get help because the is not going to change.
Good luck sweetie
2007-03-27 15:50:03 · answer #11 · answered by only me 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋