Last september I had a week booked off. My very best friend , of 50 years, died so half of my week off was spent travelling 200 miles to her furneral and staying overnight. L ast week I had a week booked off and my Godmother died, again an overnight stay, a long arduos drive (6 hours on the way down because of an accident, should take 3hrs at most) 2 weeks later my Godmothers husband dies! On a Sunday and at 6.30 a.m. the same day and time as my Godmother. He obviously couldn't carry on without her. I am not going to his funeral because of the drive and he wasn't actually family but why am I more upset by his departure than my Godmothers? I did not actually get to say goodbye to him on the day of his wifes funeral because I thought he would be coming back to the house afterwards but he went back to the nursing home.Is this why I feel guilty? If so how do I deal with it?
2007-03-27 08:26:12 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ive had the death of 3 people close to me in a short space of time. i know i felt guilty too, like it was my fault somehow and everyone was dying around me.
you're probably not more upset at the death of your godmothers husband at all, its just a case of things are starting to catch up on you. you're actually grieving for all 3 people, not just your godmothers husband. when someone dies, it brings back the memories of previous losses, especially if they were recent or significant losses.
just remember that it is not your fault. its just unlucky that they have all gone at this time but they are in a much better place now and you will join them again one day.
2007-03-28 01:37:40 · answer #1 · answered by sparky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After someone passes over there are always left, if only's, why did I's etc etc. Don't beat yourself up over it the fact you were at his wifes funeral would have been enough, you made the effort. Perhaps you need to go to the funeral to say farewell to put your feelings at rest. You will only have one more chance to say your goodbyes. Hope you are ok. best Wishes
Kanga!
2007-03-27 21:01:05 · answer #2 · answered by KANGA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're feeling guilty because you are not going to the funeral. You say he is not really family. Was your Godmother really family? If you considered her family,then you should consider him family too. It is only a three hour drive--go pay your respects.
2007-03-27 13:11:58 · answer #3 · answered by franny1120 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, your probably also feeling guilty because your not going to the funeral, so maybe you can your own goodbyes in your way on the day of the funeral
2007-03-27 08:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by RACHEL B 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You were very fortunate to have the time to go to the first two funerals. That's a good thing. Of course you had no way of knowing he would die also, you are a little self-obsessed to think it has anything to do with you. Let it go.
2007-03-27 08:30:23 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes...when we do not get to say out last goodbyes to someone we feel guilty. That is what funerals are for....but I can understand if you cant go. Try to if you can though, but it's okay if you cant.
2007-03-29 00:32:02 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know deep down that you have nothing to feel guilty about. Perhaps you are confusing your grief with guilt, it's all a bad feeling.
Go and talk to someone professional about it, like a grief counsellor. Death is difficult enough to deal with one at a time! No-one expects you to be able to deal with this without any hiccups.
2007-03-27 08:30:33 · answer #7 · answered by Dogsbody 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, this is why you feel so guilty. Forgive yourself and move on.
2007-03-27 08:29:48 · answer #8 · answered by lilmama 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋