I Need Relationship insight and help!?

Question

I really like my boyfriend, and I believe he fells the same, but the problem is, I'm a leo, and as a girlfriend, I need attention from him, more than I think he's willing to give at this point, and its really irritating! I told him I am demanding and high maintenance when it comes to attention, and I feel like he puts me last when it comes to everybody else (friends and such).

Now, I'm not telling him to forget everybody else in his life, and just focus on me, but I NEED his attention in order to feel like I'm not wasting my energy or time on him. He tells me that between giving his best friend, mother and me attention, he feels like he has 3 girlfriends. I told him he should only feel like he has one gal - ME. When we first started dating, I lived in a city about 30 min away, and he had no problem spending the weekends with me. now, I moved to the same city because of a job change, and I feel like I'm not getting the same attention and time he used to give me. someone help!

I feel like I give more than a 100% in this relationship because I would never give less - I take relationships seriously. Its to the point where I ask him if hes coming over for the weekend, at least 1 day, and he doesn't know, he has to see what everybody elses plans with him are.

Answer 1

You need to back off. You cannot make someone else love you. You cannot make them give you sincere, afecetionate spontaneous attention. If the attention is obtained through nagging or begging, then it is given resentfully or out of guilt. Resentment and guilt will destroy the relationship. All you can do is give of yourself and hope that you will be appreciated and that your sincere feelings will be appreciated and reciprocated. But give without expecting or demanding return. If the reciprocation does not come spontaneously from the other, then something is missing. Possibly you are being misused. Do not dontinue to let that happen.
"There are plenty of fish in the sea." Do not wste your time trying to "make" someone love you. Love cannot be coerced.

There is a law of paradox in life. The more and harder we try to force things, the more they elude us. We must relax, be giving, caring serving, and let things/people respond spontaneously. "Give without expectation of return."

But, when we give too much, that is more than is being returned, we begin to feel resentful. This simply adds more destruction to the relationshship, and pushes the other person away all the more.

Back off. If this person does not return your affection spontaneously, then there is a lack of sincerity somewhere.

I realize that this is not what you want to hear right now, but it is what you need to hear. Perhaps your boyfriend will be able to see and feel more correctly if he is given more space. This may draw you closer and build your rlationshoip. If not, then perhaps it is time to look for another. Affairs of the heart are often painful, but love and goodness are everywhere.

Answer 2

You don't mention how long you've been together so I'll assume that it's pretty serious. You NEED to make him understand how much attention you need. If both of you arn't putting in at least 50% effort then it's not worth it. And it seems like he isn't putting in enough effort. It will get tiring on your part and maybe his too. I've been in a relationship for 5 years, since I was a sophomore in high school and I had this sort of problem. He would spend more time with his friends then he would with me. When I got upset he would make the excuse that he was young and had to hang out with his friends. I pretty much told him that he needs to spend more time with me or I'll find someone else that will. I hope that this helps you out. I'm not trying to tell you what to do, just a suggestion.

Answer 3

I am a Leo too and I have the same problem with my boyfriend. I feel like he puts everything and everyone before me and I'm not having it. When I put my foot down I get the attention I need, but I hate that it has to get to that point. It's been 4 years and he should know. His excuse is that he's trying to make more money so we have have nice things. But, I have a good paying job myself and I still have time to be attentive to my man. I put up with it because I would rather this small problem than other big ones.

Answer 4

You probably aren`t getting that same attention. Hence supply and demand. Maybe you two could schedule some firend/girlfriend time. Such as sporting events,double dates something that seems a little less demanding for him. As far as moms go....well that one you may as well steer clear of,you don`t want that issue as a negative facyor in your relationship.

Answer 5

Maybe you should reconsider the relationship. It doesn't sound like you are getting what you want from it. You can't get blood from a stone.