A met a guy, we started getting to know each other, he was great it was great, but I had this gut feeling he was still stuck on his he ex girlfriend, who left him after years together! We recently got in an argument while intoxicated, after that every thing started to change, the cloud that we were floating on melted away. So I ask him what was up, and he says that our argument reminded him so much of his ex it made him realize he didn't want a relationship right now... but i thought that we were just getting to know each other! After a long conversation, of him saying he didn't know what he wanted, and saying he still wanted "hang out" he just didn't know how serious he wanted to be... then later he tried making plans to hang out with me, I'm just confused! I don't know what he wants or what I should do, so now I'm fighting calling or e-mailing with every thing in me... I don't know what to do! so some advice please... I feel like I was merely a substitute for what he really wants.
2007-03-27 08:12:40 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thank your lucky stars you saw that now...
sounds like he's wounded...and wants to wallow in pity
Leave him alone...
Dont worry about what he wants, he told you.... You want (hopefully) better for yourself. So tell him, youre moving on.
2007-03-27 08:19:33 · answer #1 · answered by too_hot4words 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Many of the problems you may be facing could be just the tip of the iceberg on what is really happening in your marriage. I dont mean to scare you but many problems when they either first show up or if they keep reoccurring could be just whats showing from a larger problem that either you or your spouse cannot even see. One of the only things you can do to help is to talk honestly and openly with each other in the marriage. If things become more serious more serious options need to be looked at as possibilities. I have a blog that has more information on some of what I've been writing about. If you feel like checking it out I would completly suggest it. Read here https://tr.im/zNG6L
Love is a choice that is made everyday when you wake up and every night when you go to sleep. Some days you may not feel the original feeling but love isnt a feeling or an emotion. Its an action a verb. Falling out of love may just mean you need to spice things up a little or that you were never in love in the first place. Don't just get out of a marriage just because you don't think you like the person anymore.
2016-07-18 21:04:41 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you meet a guy that is recently out of a relationship. It is generally a good idea not to start a relationship immediately, you kind of become the rebound person. He hasn't had the opportunity to deal with the baggage from the previous relationship, especially one that has lasted quite sometime. Just fall back a little. If he wants to hang out and you are available then hang out if you choose to but don't sit around waiting for things to happen on his time frame. Don't make it too easy for him. Just fall back. Don't call often or email. You will see a difference. He can't have it both ways. He either wants a relationship with you or he doesn't don't spin your wheels while he is trying to find out. Good Luck
2007-03-27 08:19:35 · answer #3 · answered by imjuxcurious 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh yer query brought memeories again to me. Ok. Well first off u have to speak talk to her and particularly see the place she stands. Becuase i've discovered over time some thing any person says can trade at any illustration. If she does relatively imply it that go for it! Hun five years missing her and now not being wit another girl boy thats deep man DEEP. And if she is solely utilizing you or feeling pity that just let her go. Love i a difficult factor. You could both be strong via taking the chance and take a look at to make historical past repeat itsself. Or be strong and let go. Simply do wats your coronary heart feels correct after confronting her.
2016-08-10 22:05:18 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that he still has unresolved feelings for his ex. If she left him, then he may not have had time yet to deal with her leaving or have had closure on the relationship. He would probably be having these issues with anyone he becomes involved with, so don't take it personally. If he spent a significant portion of his life with this person, he may still be dealing with the breakup. You can't turn off your feelings over night. It takes time.
My advice would be to tell him to take time to deal with his unresolved feelings and call you when he's ready to move on. It doesn't matter what you do right now, he needs to let go of her on his own. Don't get pulled into his drama.
2007-03-27 08:26:55 · answer #5 · answered by irisheyes 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its good that you went with your gut feeling. Your six sense is a girls best friend. It sounds like you havn't been dating much. You two could be dating for 2,4 months maybe. Your in a safty net. You can back out now if you want the more you stay with him the harder it will be to leave him. Right now you need to let him find out what he really wants and you need to spend some time to find yourself and see what you really want in life. But if I was you I would go see whats out there. Your still young you should be out there having fun and begaing happy not unhappy.
2007-03-27 08:19:44 · answer #6 · answered by Hot asain mama 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry for your trouble but you may be pushing a Little fast for him, if he and his ex were together for a long time it takes awhile to get over that, and when thing arise with you such as the fight it will reminder him of her its not that hes stuck on her but just stuck, i think you both need to go slower, and quit email calling or anything else for awhile, " if it meant to be he will coming looking for you", let him work for it.
2007-03-27 08:19:51 · answer #7 · answered by eeyore6838 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is going to come down to how well you know each other. I say that if he cannot give you a straight answer about how he is feeling and that all he tells you is that he does not know what he wants, he knows exactly what he wants. He just does not want to tell you. He is looking for the best of both worlds.
2007-03-27 08:20:09 · answer #8 · answered by butterfly_2blue 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/MFiNQ
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.
2016-04-23 07:39:29 · answer #9 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think...your guy...is also confused...
normally we humans make a mistake deciding what do we want?is it a special relationship or love. people who lack such special friends often confuse themselves with friendship or love and they end up falling in love with the wrong person(for the sake of comfort)...and the realisation is disheartening. we often confuse ourselves with love and friendship.
so the point i am getting on to is...
maybe your guy needs a best friend right now more than anything else(even a love relationship)
try to be the special friend first...listen about what he speaks about his ex(maybe he just cannot give up on something related to his past relationship)
then if you think that this guy of yours is worthy of love and the this is guy for you, then stick to it...otherwise leave him. that's all.
if you feel uncomfortable....just leave that thing which makes you uncomfortable. but always give it a try to mend it first.
ha!...ain't i good at lecturing? :D
2007-03-27 08:30:27 · answer #10 · answered by *~Hope~* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋