My fiance and i have been together for 3 years now. He's already giving me the cold shoulder by watching tv more than being with me. He comes home, says hi to me. Then he turns on the tv and I don't have his attention until we go to bed. I try to talk to him and he's already sleeping. Yet when we are at someone else's house he acts like the life of the party. What can I do? I've tried turning off the tv, dressing as sexy as I can and even making dinner or little surprises. He still likes the tv better than me. I'm desperate here. What do other women do?
2007-03-27 08:10:53 · 42 answers · asked by angelicalprincess23 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ignore him...but nicely. My guy of 4+ yrs decided to take his sons xbox since his son is grounded from it for 6 weeks. Now he doesn't even say "hi" to me when he comes home from work...it's straght to the xbox. At first it really bothered me. Then I thought "jealous of an xbox"? naw...he should be jealous he's NOT gonna get any! I stay close to my kids. We play outside now when he comes home. This way I'm taking my mind off him not paying attention to me.
I make sure dinner is on the table if he choses to eat or not, I don't worry about it. I treat him with utmost respect so he can't say I'm "mean to him" giving him more reasons to ignore me. I rented 9 movies and watched them during his xbox time. When he asked "did you watch such n such" uh, YEAH, ur on xbox from 6pm-midnight! I don't watch movies at midnight! I don't yell though. I just casually say, yea, the kids and I watched it while you were online. Some times I'll get online myself and hide my loneliness in Yahoo Q&A. Let him watch his TV but don't try to take his attention anymore. See how long it takes for HIM to look for YOU. Give him reasons to MISS YOU. On his way in to the TV be on your way OUT of the house. (wearing his fav perfume) Casually say "oh, gotta run to the store, wanna come with me?". I've done this! Some times he says YES...I take advantage of it too. I hold his hand going thru the isles, make him laugh with my jokes and silliness, flirt with him like old times...he never stays away for very long. He woke up this morning with a comment..."am I thinking of sex"? Causally I said, "no", got up & got the kids off to school. Eventually he will miss me again! Sooner than later, I hope. Good luck to you!
2007-03-27 08:23:52 · answer #1 · answered by luv2bake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him how you feel. And if he doesn't listen or doesn't change, he never will and you can do better. If you've tried having sex or just being sexy and he won't pay any attention to anything other than the TV then something is seriously wrong. No matter how much a man can like TV nothing is better to them than sex...so girl just try to talk to him!! And remember, you will be fine without him. Don't let him trick you into thinking he's going to change when he won't. I've been there so often with my love and honestly ugh...it really sucks that I always thinking he's changing and he's not. Just be careful.
2007-03-27 08:17:24 · answer #2 · answered by stlcards9008 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First, move out of his house. Living together before marriage is a huge mistake. He won't ever commit to marriage if he's getting all the benefits of it now (and doesn't seem to want it). That will solve the TV problem because now, you'll be back to dating. You'll have to make time for each other again. If he's not willing to do that - or you aren't willing to move out - then I think there's nothing you can do about it. He's lost interest and you can stand on your head while juggling three apples that are on fire while naked and he'll still prefer the TV. You know why? You have stopped being a challenge for him and why do you think that is? Because he has conquered you - you live together, he gets sex whenever he wants it, his meals are cooked, his clothes are washed, his house is clean and if you have children, his kids are taken care of. All I hear in those sentences is HIM! What about you? What do you want? If you want him to desire you again - either move on with the marriage or move out because staying "shacked up" is way to easy for him. Make him work for you, you are so worth it.
2007-03-27 08:17:47 · answer #3 · answered by Brandy 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about other women cause I'm a man, but if I acted that way I would want my lady to sit next to me and pretend to be interested along with me for a while, and try to get my attention, because obviously something is waning away and getting boring. That's bad. You've been living together and people tend to take things like that for granted when there's no committment. Don't let it get much farther without some resolution.
2007-03-27 08:22:36 · answer #4 · answered by forlove 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi Angel , first of all there are some important things you must think of , do you believe that he is really loves you ?. do you believe that you are really love him ? . then , do you think that you together will make a good couple ? . if your answer is yes , then try to solve this problem together rather than escaping from it , ask yourself , did he start this relationship with the TV from the beginning or just from a while , if he started long time ago then may be it is too late now , and if he started recently , may be you are the cause of it and you didn't know that , try to remember when you were talking in the past , did you used to choose the subject that you were talking about , may be that you was bothering him with things that he doesn't want to talk about , or he doesn't like it , and instead of arguing , or fighting with you he is escaping to the TV , if you think that it;s better for you to continue together , then try to start watching the TV with him , a bit by bit start to talk with him in things he love , sitting close to him , touching him , give him some warm feelings , make him satisfy with you and he will be yours .
2007-03-27 08:56:56 · answer #5 · answered by m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try watching TV with him. Cuddle up beside him, and maybe find shows that you both like. Me and my man are both crazy for CSI- so on days that it comes on it's always exciting and special, and it's our "CSI date." It does sound like tv is ALL that he wants to do though- and that would drive me crazy also! Have you sat down and talked to him about this? You say that he acts like the life of the party around other people- I think that you are just seeing a different side of him. The "home" side of him. And he's so used to being around you that you've become like family. This is a picture of what your married life will be like with him. I'd tell him that you really want to work on having some "talk" time. And if he wants to watch TV, then politely tell him that you would like to do it together
2007-03-27 08:17:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you aren't married might make it easier for both of you to move on, because staying together means working on your relationship. And if he doesn't want to work on it, there is no social commitment to doing so. There are things that can be done, like counseling, but would you feel comfortable going to couseling to help your relationship? And if he doesn't want to do those things... how will you react? You could give him an ultimatum and if he doesn't respond, move on. But learn now that you mustn't let your next relationship go this route. Stay involved. Try to find entertainment you have in common. Date one another. Find common interests and set common goals. Good luck!!!
2007-03-27 08:19:04 · answer #7 · answered by stormc2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately this is a problem that plagues many women these days. The best solution is to get a hobby that you do by yourself or with other women friends (you can't invite him!) that takes up the time you'd otherwise spend competing with the TV. You might even find that he misses you being around for him to ignore, and that you enjoy your new hobby immensely. In essence: get a life of your own, outside of your fiance and watch HIM get jealous!
2007-03-27 08:16:15 · answer #8 · answered by SodaLicious 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the move on posters. This guy is placing more value on the TV than you. If it was just a special show every now and then, that would be almost acceptable, but it sounds like it is every night. You are nothing more than an object in his life. Something to complete the picture. Something to stave off feelings of inadequecy. You are there for him and he is not there for you.
It would be better for you leave him to his TV and you go and live your life.
2007-03-27 08:16:53 · answer #9 · answered by A.Mercer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried to make a video of you tiring to talk to him? Say everything you want to say in the video. Start by saying, Honey I love you but we can't live like this any longer. I know your tired and you worked all day, but guess what so have I and maybe we could share our day just a Lil, something but you don't just come in and say Hi and that's it.!!!! Sounds like he has a daily routine and if it's like this now marriage won't be any different.... Good luck
2007-03-27 08:28:24 · answer #10 · answered by lsjcmo3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋