She had a job but said the manager let her go because he needed a full time worker. I saw the manager one day and he stated how sad he was when she quit. I didnt say anything to her because I had a feeling she quit. She doesn't ask for much however she doen't want to get a job until she graduates from college. She said she just want to work during the summers.
2007-03-27 07:58:45 · 11 answers · asked by Curious Georgetta 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I don't know if you're going to like my answer, but I'd take a "tough love" approach here.
You've supported her for close to 18 years, and she says she doesn't want to work to support herself? I don't want to sound harsh, but I think a job is exactly what she needs. A job teaches one to be more financially responsible, not just in creating a budget + sticking to it, but also making her responsible in everything she does. Everytime she wants to buy something, she'll have to think twice. "Can I really afford this?" "Do I really need this, or is this a luxury that I can put off for now?"
There are a lot of people on financial aid in college, and they work various jobs to pay off some of it, so they won't have to pay astronomical bills later on. My parents did the same to me once I was 18, and it forced me to grow up really quickly. Looking back at that tim, I'd have to say that I'm extremely grateful to my parents, because it made me more financially responsible, and I learned how to budget my expenses on my own, instead of relying on them for everything I need. I had to pay for my own education, and they helped chip in what I couldn't afford (I'm working now, and paying them back for what I couldn't pay back then). But if I had to do it all over again, I don't think I would've done it any other way.
2007-03-27 08:23:14 · answer #1 · answered by green004 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having worked through my own college career, I can say that it definitely had a detrimental effect on my grades. On the other hand, it did make me capable, independant, self-reliant, and a bit more realistic about this world, being able to take a bit of hard work because I had to. At the same time, I do regret that fact that ,my grades suffered (I took my final six months in college off work, and my grades went from a mediocre 2.2 average to 1.1), leaving me with a degree which is only 2% off a first class degree.
I think it is quite important that she work, but I also think that she should be able to depend on you for necessities until she finishes college (perhaps with the understanding that she pay you back during the Summers, or after college). Tell her you will feed her, and pay for her accommodation, and maybe for her clothes, but don't give her money, she will have to earn the rest.
2007-03-27 08:09:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should have been paying for some of her things from the time she could hold a job, about 15 or 16 years old. Insist that she start buying at least some of her own clothes, her makeup, and anything that you consider a want, not a need. As long as you are giving her a free ride, she has no incentive to get or hold a job. Don't be surprised if she still doesn't get a job when she gets out of school. She'll just expect you to continue to pay her way.
Give her some motivation. Mark on a calendar when you expect her to start paying for her car, her insurance, her clothing, makeup, etc.. Eventually show all of her expenses including rent on her room if she plans on still living at home. Stick to the schedule - no exceptions. When you stop carrying her, she will walk on her own.
2007-03-27 08:08:22 · answer #3 · answered by friendlyadvice 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She should start paying when she is 18. Period. The fact that she lied to you about being fired over quiting is inexcusable as well. Where is the respect? I am assuming of course that you paid for her to get to where she is today, and paid for her college education. This is the age were her "wants" are no longer your problem. I am sure you raised her right and to be an intelligent, independant woman. Now is the time she needs to realize that if she "wants" something, she will have to see to it on her own. Tough if she doesn't "want" to work until she graduates. At 18, she is a grown and should be mature enough to take on the responsibility of life. I would be there for emotional support, but enough with the finacial aspect. Let her start contributing full time to HER life. You are the parent, I would let her know that if she wants any spending money whatsoever, she will need to provide for herself. She may get mad at you, but this will only be to test you to see if she can get her way. Good luck to you, and congratulations for seeing her this far!
2007-03-27 08:16:25 · answer #4 · answered by in2one 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the should always be a balance. There is no reason for her not to have some sort of job, even it is just for a few hours each week, to earn some spending money. I think it teaches responsibility and time management skills. It may also help on her resume when looking for full time employment in the future - especially if she can find work in a related field.
2007-03-27 08:05:27 · answer #5 · answered by Kenny 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
18 year ODs can work and go to school. If she wants any extras besides the usual food, utilities, and shelter, tell her that she will have to pay for it. Many people work and go to school. There comes a time when you have to learn responsibility. If she were out on her own, she would have to pay for a lot more than just the extras.
2007-03-27 13:21:30 · answer #6 · answered by franny1120 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell her that you could help her out with school but nothing else. So if she wants spending money she will have to work for and get herself her things. Don't give her so much time that is when kids get into trouble. Work takes up time and less trouble to get into trouble. You do know how bad kids behave in collage.
2007-03-27 08:04:44 · answer #7 · answered by LittleDaisy. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 years ago... who cares if she don't want to work.. she wants money earn it.. It will hurt her when she comes out... get an internship and learn the real world while going to school, makes school much more meaningful when you have real world application
2007-03-27 08:03:34 · answer #8 · answered by mattymomostl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As long as she is investing in her future you should be lenient on the expectations. If she quits school, then she pays for everything.
2007-03-27 08:02:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My mom gave me a choice School or Work!??? if shes in school....be happy support her! rite now she NEEDS to focus on school!
2007-03-27 08:02:45 · answer #10 · answered by Monica S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋