Jewish gravestone ceremony - what to expect?

Question

I am attending the stone setting ceremony (I'm not sure of the actual term) for a Jewish woman who passed away one year ago. As I have never attended such a service, I am hoping that someone might be able to fill me in. What should I expect? Are there any prayers that I should know. What is appropriate dress?

Answer 1

Matzevah (Unveiling of the headstone)
A headstone (tombstone) is known as a matzevah ("monument"). There are varying customs about when it should be placed at the head of the grave. Most communities have an unveiling ceremony a year after the death. Some communities have it earlier, even a week after the burial. In Israel it is done after the "sheloshim", the first thirty days of mourning. There is no restriction about the timing, other than the unveiling cannot be held during certain periods such as Passover or Chol Ha'Moed.

At the end of the ceremony, a cloth or shroud covering that has been placed on the headstone is removed, customarily by close family members. Services include reading of several psalms (1, 24, 23, 103), Mourners Kaddish (if a minyan is available), and the prayer "El Malei Rachameem." The service may include a brief eulogy for the deceased.

Answer 2

It is called an unveiling (they actually put a cloth over the gravestone prior to the ceremony).

Expect a lot of prayers, some eulogies. Since the prayers will most likely be said in Hebrew with some English translation (depends on how religious the ceremony will be) it is just best to listen.

As for appropriate dress - dress conservatively - after all you are attending a solemn ceremony.

As for the placing of stones on the headstone or grave marker (that Alex mentioned above) those are called "Stones of Remembrance". It is a tradition that derives from bibical practices - back in those days large stones were placed on graves to prevent scavaging animals from digging up the bodies (coffins and going 6 feet down were not done way back then).

Answer 3

Jewish Unveiling Ceremony

Answer 4

coservative dress, the ceremony is just a memorial service, placeing stones on the head stone is what the jewish people do instead of flowers.
wish i could tell you more but it's been a while.

Answer 5

The only thing I know is that my boss referred to that as the "commemorative date" when his uncle passed away. He went to the ceremony and wore a suit. But maybe if you google that term, you'd get some usual info if no one helps you here.

Good luck. Sorry I couldn't help more.

Answer 6

Wear black or dark colored something conservative