I have had a long term relationship with my boyfriend for the past 10 years or so first starting with friendship and then love. We stay with our parents as we are from India. We plan to have out first night only after our wedding. I am a bit scared now and now that the time is looming up and the days are going fast, I am having jitters about how things will happen and how it will turn out to be. The marriage, the life of adjusting, will I always be happy, having kids and managing things as a caring wife.... I am so scared !!!
Serious answers please....
2007-03-27 07:46:22 · 20 answers · asked by MafiaGal 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Lucky guy. Not too many guys have a woman in thier life that puts that much thought into them.
2007-03-27 13:23:09 · answer #1 · answered by Millionaire in training 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dear,
Let me tell you one thing. Being boyfriend and girlfriend is a different experience and a good one. Once you get married then you are a wife and like all wife's you will start nagging him and he will feel, like most husbend's, that he is never right and then starts the problem's. It is always good to remain as a girl friend. Here in the USA I have seen people without commitment staying togeather for years but once they get married they are divorced in a couple of years. Here in the US of A they say that a piece of the wedding cake will make the women loose appitite for sex. Also from your discription you say that you have been seeing each other for 10 years and never had a really good time ( you know what I mean). I as a man if were going out with a girl and did not have a good time within a couple or three dates, I would have dumped her a** in a hartebeat. So the question is weather the man you are going out with has any desires and/or is capable of doing it. After all please remember that sex is a big part of a successful marrige. My advise is whatever decision you take, take it very carefully. JMHO.
2007-03-27 22:36:57 · answer #2 · answered by Prabhu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't imagine what you would have to be scared of? You have been with your boyfriend for almost 10 years. You know each other very well. Life will fall into balance. Don't start worrying about things that you have no idea about. You take each issue one step at a time. Make sure that you and your husband are in agreement about making decisions regarding your family. There are ups and downs in every marriage, it's how you both handle them that will depend on how happy you will be. Just stand by your husband and be a good wife. Everything else will fall into place. Thank you and good luck.
2007-03-27 15:18:11 · answer #3 · answered by cookie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Will you be happy every day of your married life? Probably not. Just the majority. There will be disagreements and there will be tension but you have to work through them.
I would be scared too if I was faced with not only losing my virginity to a man but also living with him alone for the first time. That is going to be some major adjusting and I hope it goes well for you.
Eventually the scared will go away and the happy will set in.
Talk. No matter what, talk to him. If you are nervous, tell him. If you are mad, tell him. If you can effectively communicate then the rest will be a little easier.
2007-03-27 15:09:07 · answer #4 · answered by kauai_lvr 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yep,,,you have the jitters..
everyone gets them..relax and enjoy life and all its adventures that lay ahead for you.
It sounds like you have a good stable relationship,and that its very grounded since you have been together for such a long time,,,so I don't think you have anything to worry about....
relax and enjoy life and everything it brings your way.
Be honest,talk to your boyfriend and tell him how your feeling - I bet youll be suprised because I bet he has some of the same fears,but open communication is a good thing for a relationship.
If you have a family member that you can confide in you could also talk with them.
2007-03-27 17:36:47 · answer #5 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah, I think it is lovely you two love each other so much. I think you have nothing to worry about. You have met your partner pretty well over all these years, so you don`t have to worry so much.
I think a loving mariage is one of the most beautiful things in the world, it is something sacred.
I think it is better you haven`t been intimate yet, after so many years together, it shows that you respect each other and love each other for all the right reasons.
I wish I would meet a man who would respect my decision to wait until I am married, I would be a liar if i said i won`t be nervous, but it is all just natural.
I wish you a lifetime of happiness with the man you chose.
2007-03-27 15:07:13 · answer #6 · answered by Lanalee W 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What your feeling in normal and is referred to as " cold feet" here in the USA . Even though you have known your husband to be for 10years, and have been friends 1st. You know that marriage is the beginning of a new life for both of you, and since you have both been sheltered by your parents, your worried that you won't know what to do. You will, learn what you need to know TOGETHER and everything will be just fine.
and no you won't be happy ALL the time, that's just not possible for anyone, but i think you will have a generally happy life together, as long as you both give each other love and respect. I hope you have many healthy, happy wonderful children.
2007-03-27 14:54:59 · answer #7 · answered by JEANNE B 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
life has its up and downs, you either are gonna learn from them or make more mistakes,i think you and your lover started out the right way you became friends first and then it matured into love. ive been married for 20 years now same woman, and every thing isnt perfect but we learned to work them out and we do have 3 kids,adjusting is easy its adjusting to things that just pop up out of nowhere thats difficult but if both of you are willing to make a stand than run away, then life will be fun for you. Even when life is pounding on you just laugh at it and say im gonna get thru this me my family and with gods help
2007-03-27 14:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its perfectly normal to feel worried and anxious about the forthcoming marriage. Its a nerve racking time anyway without the wedding night arrangements to think about.
If you haven't been intimate before then you have nothing to compare it to, just relax and worry more over the wedding itself rather than the bit afterwards. Getting married is a stressful time so concerntrate on that and im sure your first night together will be magic
Congrats
2007-03-27 14:51:36 · answer #9 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We were all nervous our first time. Your first night will be a night you will remember. You will become a whole woman starting that night after your wedding and your adult life will begin.
Do not be nervous or scared, just relax. It is a natural thing that we all end up mastering. Well, most of us....LOL.
2007-03-27 16:09:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I congratulate you on being together for so long! Considering how long you two have known each other you should have most everything worked out between you. Compromise is the most important thing. Sadly, I can tell you not to expect to always be happy. It will have its ups and its downs so its better for to be ready to struggle. Its worth it though! I'm sure you two will have a long happy life together!
2007-03-27 14:56:21 · answer #11 · answered by Born to Love Him 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋