Im going out on our first date with this real attractive man tomorrow. Ok its been a long time since Im gone out on a date. The reason why Im asking this question is perhaps Im a little nervous. Im decent looking woman but I do come across as a very serious and intimidating person.
Only my close friends know that im actually a very shy and a quiet person, basically I take my own time to open up to someone. I also get bored real soon. Which is one bad habit i would love to change.I just wanna go out with this guy and have a pleasant evening being my usual self.. I don't want to scare him away. Just a normal friendly conversation with out getting too personal..
So what are the Do's and Dont's on a first date?
2007-03-27 07:42:22 · 24 answers · asked by julia1975 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Im 32 he is 36
2007-03-27 07:54:17 · update #1
I guess I fall into this catagory - I'm a female age 58.
Oh, my! Where to start?! First of all, DON'T put on a pretense about yourself, act naturally. Either he'll like you for who you are or he won't. There's no if's, and's or but's about this. DO show your intelligence but DON'T try to outdo him. DO let him know just the slightest bit about you that will leave him wanting to know more. DO act sophisticated but NOT airy! Just be yourself and I'm sure everything will work out. After all, he DID ask you out!!!!!
Good luck and let me know how your date turns out.
2007-03-27 07:52:25 · answer #1 · answered by lilbit48vmb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll concentrate on the "Dos" -
1. Be on time or early.
2. Dress appropriately for where you are going. Call the restaurant if necessary.
3. Discuss topics that aren't extreme, like current events, and high-level likes and dislikes, work, etc.
4. Say "please" and "thank-you" a lot.
5. Listen to your date, ask good open, leading questions, and remember some things to follow up with should you get another date. Do not monopolize the conversation. You can admit to being shy, if you are not talking a lot - some would find this charming.
6. If you do get bored, change the subject to something you might find more interesting.
7. Wait a few days to follow up with the person if you had a nice time. It really doesn't matter who does the calling.
A few "Don'ts" to consider:
1. Do not discuss your last relationships, your relatives, things that make you angry - basically, topics that make you appear unattractive.
2. Don't force the date. If things are not going well after a really good attempt, say so, and excuse yourself politely. Your date is probably feeling the same way. Do not make any feeble excuses like headaches, stomach problems or an "emergency."
3. If you come across as too serious and intimidating, don't dress like you normally do. Look at some fashion magazines for ideas.
Good luck! Hope it goes well!
2007-03-27 14:51:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow good luck Julia!
First off, don't get stressed. You seem like the kind that gets hard and serious when life gets stressful. It's a great survival skill........but not great for making friends.
Make it as casual and low key as possible. The less formal the restaurant the better. I like funky coffee shops, or sitting at the bar at a nice upscale place and taking your time, maybe having a few appetizers to share. Low stress.
Also, think of some funny stories from when you were a kid or from school and work. Be able to list a few stories, then when the time comes say "hey, wanna hear what happend to me one time at band camp?...." OK, you get the idea, right?
Ask questions. Listen to his answers intently. Ask for details. Laugh at his jokes no matter how dumb. Keep a light heart and keep the conversation moving along. He's as nervous as you are. After two hours, you'll know if you like him a lot or just want to be friends. Let him know through body language and attitude.
Don't take any caffine or sugar tomorrow if it makes you hyper. Tonight, skip TV and read a book. You get bored because your life is hectic and you want instant gratification and results. Take time for a long bath with lavender before the date. Make your mind relaxed and peaceful.
Don't drink more than three drinks (less if you don't drink regularly) and by all means do not under any circumstances screw the guy unless he makes you so damn hot you will explode if you don't.
2007-03-27 15:01:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
OK I am sorry I'm not 30 plus but I do have a lighter approach to your dilemma. Instead of going into this date thinking of stuff you don't want to do or what you do want to come off seeming, think of things that you do want him to see. You say your shy then show him that you are shy try to do something that you wouldn't normally do. Ask a silly question, don't think about looking crazy because you haven't been on a date in a while and so not everyone wants to talk marriage on the first date. If you two have children talk about that. Think of thing you would have liked to do or would still like to do. You could even play 21 questions in your head. Ask him something you would never think to ask anyone. Just try to keep yourself comfortable in your head and you will exude comfortableness to him and not the jitters.
2007-03-27 14:55:26 · answer #4 · answered by candyvision06 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well..don't talk about past relationships at all. Talking about marriage and the like is a no-no on a first date. Ask questions about what he likes to do for fun, vacations, etc. Ask about his friends, they are a good indicator of what he is like. Find a common interest to discuss if things get slow. Do not drink too much.. bad sign on first date.. for either of you. Pay attention to just how much he does drink. Listen to what topic he brings up as well... This is all I have for now. Good Luck
2007-03-27 14:49:09 · answer #5 · answered by mayihelpyou 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
DO: be yourself.Dont act diffrent are because you are afraid of scaring him away.I mean what would happen if you acted and did things that just wasnt you and then he fell in love with you? It would be based off lies.I mean let him know.Try not to talk about yourself to much but at the same time dont be sooooo mysterious.Deffently ask questions! The way i know what kinda questions to ask is i think to my self "OKAY WOULD I WANT HIM TO ASK ME THIS QUESTION" and basically have a good time! Dont put things off and try not to be TO TO TO shyy.GOOD LUCK
2007-03-27 14:48:46 · answer #6 · answered by Angela G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be yourself....men like to talk about themselves..ask him questions pertaining to him..and his life....don't talk about your ex....don't be or say anything negative....men like woman who can make them laugh and or smile too....everyone is nervous on the first date so it is ok...make sure you make a second date though then both of you are more likely to be more yourselves......see if he agrees..some are too quik to think the other person is wrong for them on the first date cause the person isn't being him or herself....I think 2 or 3 dates are the best way...
2007-03-27 14:54:46 · answer #7 · answered by angeleyez1956@verizon.net 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First dates are always difficult. Both parties want to give a good impression. However, it important to just be you. If a relationship should happen to develop and you acted differently than the person you are it won't last long due to your initial dishonesty.
2007-03-27 14:49:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just be polite and respectful. If you're over 30 you can offer to pay for yourself or at least leave a tip. He'll probably say no, but it's a nice gesture to offer.
Dress nicely. Smell good. Don't talk about ex's.
2007-03-27 14:47:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why not let the guy do most of the talking in this case, as in ask him a lot of questions, and he can guage your character on your response rather than you passing off as intimidating. Then he can watch you when you listen and see how shy you are, which is what a guy would like
2007-03-27 14:47:18 · answer #10 · answered by chrisbowe82 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋