Me and my finace have been together for 8months, and i know that we are moving things fast but we are so much in love, we have been living together for a while. He told me a while after we started dating that he was not that well equipt downstairs, and since i am not a shallow ***** i did not care. Only it is 4 days before our wedding and we still have not had sex. I am still a virgin and i dont know what i would do if i were a virgin on my wedding night, what would you do?? i am not leaving him so that is not an option. But do i just kiss him good night tell him it is ok then roll over and go to sleep?
2007-03-27 07:17:41 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
It is not as if he WONT have sex with me because he is self consious...he CANNOT have sex with me because he is small....we have tried
2007-03-27 07:24:08 · update #1
we do knw eachother, we have known eachother for 5 years, dating for the 8months living together for 4months...i dont know i just dont think that i am going to worry about it, i love him he loves me and that is all that matters, sex is not THAT important...right?
2007-03-27 07:28:10 · update #2
Hi. Don't you hate it when people judge you based on the question you ask instead of answering!? Ugh.
Anyhow, here is my answer...
First of all, one other person did say this, but there are other types of sex besides regular penetration. Hands, fingers, vibrators, etc work too. Some people even like what I knew in high school as "dry humping" better than they like sex! You can do things for each other without actually having regular old sex. Even at the same time!
Next, I have seen a website on men with small... er... parts... and it did include positions that help achieve penetration. I'd search for it but I'm at work and don't want to raise any flags. I think you should be able to find it, but if I remember to, I'll try to find it tonight at home and add it to this response.
Also, there are... sleeves... that fit over him that you can buy from adult stores like adam & eve. They basically extend his length. That's something I'd wait to discuss until after the honeymoon though.
But no, don't just kiss him and roll over. Talk some, touch some, maybe share you favorite fantasies with him and ask him what are his? Who knows, you two might get so worked up that you have a little success!
In any case, good luck and congratulations!
PS - as long as he isn't infertile, you can have kids, even without having sex. You might not need anything more than a dixie cup and a medicine dropper or turkey baster!
2007-03-27 07:37:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You do not have to have sex before your wedding night. Lots of people are virgins on their wedding night. In the grand scheme of things, so what if it's awful? As long as you love each other it shouldn't matter.
And unless he is just very, VERY small (like an inch when erect), you should be able to have sex just fine. Perhaps the problem lies in the positions you are choosing. For example if he is small and a bit taller than you, doggie style wouldn't work well because of the angle involved. The best way to get around this is experiment with different positions and see what works best for you. I think woman on top would probably work fine.
If you try all this and still have problems then see a sex therapist, a doctor, or just a therapist.
2007-03-27 15:10:19 · answer #2 · answered by R E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have honestly tried and it didn't work then there are other things you can do. I'm not being gross or disgusting here just talking bluntly. There are toys, these can be used and you shouldn't feel nasty for needing them, millions of couples have and use them to enhance their experience.
Have you tried reading books on love and not just sex? What about the good old fashioned kama sutra, read it and study it. There is more to pleasing each other then just sex. As long as you're not close minded and look at all of your options you can satisfy each other and remain faithful at the same time.
You two HAVE to learn how to be open and communicate with each other on this subject or nothing but trouble can come of it. You need those communication skills in everyday married life, not just dealing with sex.
2007-03-27 14:47:08 · answer #3 · answered by kauai_lvr 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is important. If it wasn't important, you wouldn't be asking this question. You guys have got to discuss your future sex life before you get married. His excuses are weird and you are going to end up sexually frustrated, which more than likely, will have you guys getting divorced. This is an important issue, so don't ignore it!
2007-03-27 14:44:54 · answer #4 · answered by Peace 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there's more to sex than just putting it in - you can have fun and love eachother. start out with massaging and see where it takes you. don't worry too much you have the rest of your lives to figure it out. if he's worried that he has a medical condition then advise him to see a doctor. tell him he's wonderful and try to make him feel confident. that will make things much better and comfortable for him.
good luck and God bless!
2007-03-27 14:28:57 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There are other ways to be physicall with each other besides having actual intercourse. As for him being that small where he can't, I would at least see a doctor. I have never heard of a man being too little with a hard on to have intercourse.
2007-03-27 14:27:46 · answer #6 · answered by GreeneyedCowgirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All men are self conscious about their size. Normally they tend to make more of a big deal out of it then it really is. If you love each other then it will all be ok. And it will only get better with time.
2007-03-27 14:22:32 · answer #7 · answered by navy wife 1996 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My god unless he's the size of my 8 year old son. I really cannot imagine that he's too small to have sex. Maybe he's having problems getting erect. If he's erect you shouldn't have any problems. If he's unable to get errect then he needs to see a doctor. You also need to make sure that your arroused, because if your not moist down there, that'll make it hard to go in. I hope that you'll at least start to really explore eachother's bodies via foreplay. Get a sex book if you need to, or even get some porn.
2007-03-27 14:52:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Size has nothing to do with being able to "do it". He should see a doctor. If you are so much in love, then wait to get married. You just do not know eachother well enough to make this commitment.
2007-03-27 14:26:01 · answer #9 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well, u've answered yourself honey,
i think sex comes by nature...hehe, so dnt u wry abt it...the passion will rise highly on the wedding night, and u won't be able to stop this electrical wave!!!
so just calmn down, and take things easy...u have your whole life time together to have sex!!
Congrats!!
2007-03-27 16:33:01 · answer #10 · answered by Farah K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋