I am French and I am in my first course of English. can you correct me this formal mail??
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to book a double room at your hotel for the nights from April 20th to April 24, that is 4 nights.
I know the hotel has a restaurant, a bar , a swimming-pool.. but I would like to know if you have a center of spa where I can relax when the day finish.
Could you tell me the price of the room with the breakfast included?
My details are: 23, avenue de l'Opera Paris FRANCE
Please let me know if you need a deposit or a credit card number
I look forward to hearing from you
Yours faithfully
Daniela Florença
2007-03-27 06:47:59 · 19 answers · asked by daniela 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Languages
Hello Daniela
I have written the letter with proper grammar below. All of the answers I have read are wrong in one way or another. I will try to list the changes I have made. Sorry it seems so long but I wanted you to get it right.
Hope this helps.
1. Space between Dear sir or madam and the new sentence.
2. April 24th. Don’t forget the th. Inclusive is better than that is 4 nights.
3. ,bar AND swimming pool. Replace your comma with and. Swimming pool does not have – hyphen.
4. Only one full stop after swimming pool.
5. Never start a sentence with But.
6. Centre of spa does not make sense.
7. end of the day instead of finish.
8. New paragraph after breakfast included?
9. Each line of your address should start with a capital letter.
10. Don’t forget the full stop at the end of France
11. Don’t forget the full stop at the end of hearing from you.
12. New paragraph after hearing from you.
13. New paragraph after Yours faithfully.
14. Leave a Space to sign your name between Yours faithfully and your name.
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to book a double room at your hotel for the nights from April 20th to April 24th, inclusive.
I know the hotel has a restaurant, a bar and a swimming pool. Could you tell let me know if you have a spa where I can relax at the end of the day.
Could you also tell me the price of the room with the breakfast included?
My details are: 23, Avenue de l'Opera Paris, France.
Please let me know if you need a deposit or a credit card number.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully
Daniela Florença
2007-03-27 08:02:06 · answer #1 · answered by stevenhawkins2208 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to book a double room at your hotel for the nights from April 20th to April 24, that is 4 nights.
I know the hotel has a restaurant, a bar , swimming pool.. but I would like to know if you have a spa center where I can relax when the day finishes.
Could you tell me the price of the room with breakfast included?
My details are: 23, avenue de l'Opera Paris FRANCE
Please let me know if you need a deposit or a credit card number
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully
Daniela Florença
Ps, I am into dogging and would appriciate a map of the area.
2007-03-27 06:52:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its almost perfect. Just a couple of corrections
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to book a double room at your hotel for the nights from April 20th to April 24, that is 4 nights.
I know the hotel has a restaurant, a bar , a swimming-pool.. but I would like to know if you have a SPA where I can relax when the day IS OVER.
Could you tell me the price of the room with (the) breakfast included?
My details are: 23, avenue de l'Opera Paris FRANCE
Please let me know if you need a deposit or a credit card number
I look forward to hearing from you
Yours faithfully
Daniela Florença
2007-03-27 06:51:54 · answer #3 · answered by Chimera's Song 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hi there, here's what I would put -
Dear Sir/Madam,
I would like to book a double room at your hotel arriving April 20th and checking out on April 24.
I know the hotel has a restaurant, bar and swimming-pool but I would like to know if you have a spa where I can relax at the end of the day.
Could you tell me the price of the room with breakfast included?
My details are:
23 Avenue de l'Opera,
Paris
FRANCE
Please let me know if you need a deposit or a credit card number.
I look forward to hearing from you
Yours faithfully
Daniela Florença
2007-03-27 06:56:30 · answer #4 · answered by cheryl 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Can somebody correct me on this writing?
I am French and I am in my first English course. Can you correct this formal mail for me?
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to book a double room at your hotel for 4 nights from April 20th to April 24 .
I know the hotel has a restaurant, bar, and swimming-pool... But I would like to know if you have a spa centre where I can relax when my day is finished.
Could you also tell me the price of the room with the breakfast included?
My details are: 23, Avenue de l'Opera Paris FRANCE.
Please let me know if you need a deposit or a credit card number.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Daniela Florença
2007-03-27 06:56:19 · answer #5 · answered by ZZnLB 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Sirs,
I would like to book a double room at your hotel for the 4 nights from April 20th to April 24..
I know that your hotel has a restaurant, a bar and a swimming-pool. I would like to know if you have a spa where I can relax in the evenings.
Can you let me know what the price of the room and breakfast will be.
My details are: 23, avenue de l'Opera Paris FRANCE
Please let me know if you need a deposit or a credit card number
I look forward to hearing from you
Yours faithfully
Daniela Florença
2007-03-27 06:55:50 · answer #6 · answered by BARROWMAN 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to book a double room at your hotel for the nights from April 20th to April 24 - that is 4 nights.
I know the hotel has a restaurant, a bar , a swimming-pool.. but I would like to know if you have a spa center where I can relax when the day ends.
Could you tell me if the price of the room includes breakfast?
My mailing address is: 23, avenue de l'Opera Paris FRANCE
Please let me know if you need a deposit or a credit card number.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully,
Daniela Florença
2007-03-27 06:51:15 · answer #7 · answered by llamallama 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
dear sir or madam
I would like to book a hotel room for two at your hotel for four nights. Those nights would be the 20th April to the 24th April.
I already know the hotel has a restaurant, a bar and a swimming pool but I was wondering do you have a spa in your hotel so that i can relax a while. And can you tell me the price of the room with breakfast included.
here is my details: 23 avenue de l'opera, Paris, France
please let me know you need my credit card number or a deposit
I look forword to hearing from you
yours sincerely
Daniele Florenca
2007-03-27 07:01:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Sir or Madam,
I would like to book a double room at your hotel from April 20th to April 24, a total of 4 nights.
I know the hotel has a restaurant, bar, and swimming pool, but I would like to know if you have a spa where I can relax at the end of my day.
Could you provide price information for my stay including breakfast? My address is: 23 Avenue de L'Opera, Paris, France.
The rest of the letter is fine. You're pretty good for your first french course. Good luck!!!
2007-03-27 07:29:11 · answer #9 · answered by YE 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Dear Sir or Madam
I would like to enquire if you have one double room available for 4 nights from 20th to 24th April 2007.
If yes, please confirm the room rate and if breakfast is included in the price or not. I would also appreciate to know if the hotel has a spa centre where I can relax in the evening.
Booking details . Daniela Florenca and...., 23 avenue de.......
Please advise if a deposit is required or if I can forward credit card details to secure the booking.
I look forward to hearing from you at an early date.
Yours faithfully,
2007-03-27 07:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋