Why do people oppose co-sleeping?

Question

I'm of course talking about co-sleeping in a safe way, after the risk of SIDS is gone. What's wrong with a "family bed" if that's what works for the family?

Answer 1

For the same reason they oppose breastfeeding. Along with the feminist movement came the whole, breastfeeding is unatural (Hello it comes out of your body for one reason the baby), having your baby in your bed is teaching them about sex and it was just all sexually oriented. And this could not be farther from the truth.

Answer 2

The only reasons my husband and I won't co sleep with our child is because we might hit eachother once in awhile at night sometimes ourselves, no need to place our children in the bed.

He is a Marine and sometimes he has occuring nightmares. Not all the time, but sometimes we don't realize (maybe over tiredness) we are moving around a lot or so. We would feel our bed is not the best place for nurturing our children during night sleep.

Now if we are just taking a light nap or relaxing during the day, that is fine as we both agreed as at least 1 of us is awake.

I will be breast feeding and I will have the crib and possible (depending on the house) the room right there so we both can get up and be close near. Same with rocking chair and extra bed incase it is a colicy night and 1 parent needs to work in the morning after taking shifts/turns.

Answer 3

If it is what works for your family, why does it matter what those who oppose it think?

I personally chose not to co-sleep because I didn't want my little one to get the idea that my bed was their playground--that is my husband's territory only. By the time she was 3 months old, my daughter was the picture-perfect independent sleeper and my intimate relationship with my husband stayed in tact. Now at 2 years old, we have no bedtime battles, she just climbs up into her bed after story time, prayers, and snuggles and says good night.

All of that aside, if you envision your family as a "family-bed" type--do it! I think that all children and families have different needs and you should not be swayed by what someone else thinks you need.

If you want some good reading on the different viewpoints, try Dr. Sears "Nightime Parenting" for the co-sleeping approach, and "BabyWise" by Gary Ezzo for the independent beds view. I read them both while I was pregnant and found that Ezzo's view was a little too harsh while Sears' was a bit too soft. I opted for a happy medium that worked for us.

Hope you find what works for you! :)

Answer 4

I feel it's a good thing if it's right for the family. People say "you'll never get your kid out of your bed" but I can't imagine an 16 year old still wanting to sleep in the same bed or the same room for that matter. My daughter and I share a bedroom, she goes down about 7:00 p.m. in her crib and if she wakes in the middle of the night I will take her in bed with me. It's not often but we both love it. I think it makes children feel safe and secure. I know our job as a parent is to teach them to be independant but there are many other ways to teach that.

Answer 5

Personally I find no problem with it. My daughter has slept in our family bed since birth. It's easier for me as a nursing mother that works full time to do this. I guess some folks are afraid you or your partner will roll over on the baby and smother it or the baby will fall out of the bed. (Mine did, but she was okay. we just put her in the middle from then on out. It was a rookie mistake!) We haven't had any problems, as long as you don't mind getting kicked by two people instead of one!

Answer 6

First of all, co-sleeping is safe even from the beggining. In the first 2 months co-sleeping lowers the risk of SIDS because the mother's breath regulates the baby's.

Secondly, people are opposed to co-sleeping because they are selfish and want the bed to themselves. They are detached parents that the child "in it's place". When they hear of co-sleeping they have to discount it so that THEY don't look bad for being detached. The family bed has been the most nurturing thing for all of us, especially becasue I have to work during the day. The extra cuddle time is PRICELESS. People need to understand that you will never get these years back! You have to soak them in every secnd you can. I really think that peole who are opposed to it are simply the same types of people who are emotionally detached from the beginning. Maybe they can't help it, I don't know.

Answer 7

Nothing, if it works for the family, I believe people get better sleep that way. As long as your partner is being truthfull about not minding it. I personally liked it and sleep much better if my children are near, but eventually it will have to be broken so there is that to think about.

Answer 8

all my kids slept in our bed or right next to it for at least 4 months after they were born. i loved it. there does however come a time when parents need time to themselves and if the child stays in the family bed to long, it can make it difficult to get them into their own room.

Answer 9

I think it's fine for young babies to co-sleep but at a certain point, a child has to become independent and parents need alone time and privacy.

Answer 10

Though co-sleeping is perfectly safe it does not always provide a good night's sleep for the very very (very) tired parents. To each his own, it's a personal choice.

Answer 11

There is nothing wrong with it. It went on for thousands of years before "somebody" decided it wasn't good. If it works for your family, do it. Our son slept in our bed until he was two, and he's as well adjusted as they come. Good luck.