any advice?

Question

my boyfriend of 9 months who lives in another town and i never see any more calls me every 2 weeks or so saying he loves me and wants to marry me. But, he never makes the effort to see me. So i got a boy friend who i can see. But the long distance boyfriend in which i really love still calls and makes it hard for me to move on. what should i do, if i brake up with the long distance one, he'll hrt himself or turn to drugs again.

Answer 1

well if he finds out ur cheating on him he will probably feel even worse.

Answer 2

Girl, let it burn with you and your long distance boyfriend. Calling every two weeks or so and saying that he loves you does NOT constitute true love. The relationship is relatively new and now is the time to move on. The distance may be just what you needed to break free from a dead end relationship. Also, if you think that he may hurt himself or turn to drugs AGAIN, bells should be ringing in your ears. You can not save him from himself. Say a prayer for him but move on. Reevaluate what love really is. Good luck.

Answer 3

You need to take care of yourself. It's not fair that he makes you responsible for his health, that is not your responsibility. You are also not treating him fairly by having someone on the side. I think you ought to break up with the long-distance one; if he truly loved you, not only would be try to see you more often, but he wouldn't scare you by making you think he'll hurt himself if you leave. If there's someone who lives near him, call them and ask them to keep an eye out for his behavior for the first few days after the breakup.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Think about it, do you want someone that doesn't make an effort to be with you to be your husband and father your children??? If so, i will said i love you and want to marry you to. If not, i will hurt myself and go into drug. So i will meet you in the hotel, you drive to my town and pay for the hotel and dinner as well.
Come on, you don't want that. Beside a relationship is not just about material, but a future. A happy future with kids and grandchild. Do you see this in him? I mean if work just happen to laid him off, or he when gambling with his friend and lost. He will just end up hurting himself. The worst part is he might do this to you when you are pregant. Now that is going to hurt YOU. So just text him and say you want to break up. Don't think that you are respondsible for his action.

Answer 5

That's very sad to know that your long distance boyfriend will hurt himself if you're not in his life.

How do you know that he hasn't already gone back to doing drugs? Why does he only call you every two weeks? Are you sure he will hurt himself if you leave him or is it his excuse to make you stay with him?

If you are trapped in a relationship, you are suffering from mental abuse and it should not be tolerated.

Answer 6

WHO CARES what he does..if he did do drugs you don't want him anyways...do you? Come on...would you be with someone that can turn back to drugs cause of a reson like that or another reason some day? And if he is that insecure that he would turn to drugs and or redo drugs cause you or another person doesn't like him>????? OH BROTHER...........You just stay with this boy who lives by you ....if he likes you and you him..be his friend and see if it evolves into more...if so great if not great too...but do not go back to this other guy...unless you want an unhappy life and trust me it will be unhappy...ther is more to a relationship than LOVE...alot more...tons more........

Answer 7

Hi Rachel,

Talk to your long distance boyfriend, and tell him that you feel like he never makes the effort to see you. Tell him that you need to have somone who will put you as the first priority. Trust me, you dont want to end up marrying this guy and then having a divorce a year later.

I hope I helped!!

Elsie

Answer 8

ya know i fell for that one before, too!
if u break up w/ him and HE DECIDES to do something stupid, it's his decision and u can't let him rope u into keeping him on a guilt trip, besides if he's not calling u but every 2 weeks & not making any more of an effort towards u, then ya think HE MAY HAVE SOMETING ELSE going on, on the side as well?
says he wants to marry u, but again wheres the effort & the ring?
BUT, the biggest thing IS u can't let guilt control u'r life and u can't control what's in his head, if he said the threat to u, then prompt him to get help. if it's just u'r thoughts of what may go wrong, then u need to correct u'r way of thinking, don't guilt u'r self into something.

Answer 9

Well to be honest the drugs thing you could do without because its emotional blackmail when he threatens to turn back there again if you leave.

Do whats right on your heart, and if you love him then stay but if he cant be arsed to visit you i dont consider that to be a recipe for a relationship. It all sounds a bit one sided to me.

Stuff em, be on your own until you decide what you want to do.

Answer 10

By the sound of it your dating two people and that's bad. Just choose the person YOU love the most, but then again there's a diffrence between what your heart wants and what your heart needs so think about that too.

Answer 11

that should not be your concern. the fact that you have another boy friend should tell you. You need to either give your long distance the whole you. or the close distance the whole you. does either one deserve this kind of a relationship. you shoul dnot be worried about how he will handle it. how will he handle it if he finds out you ahve been cheating on him.