miss manners?

Question

men & table manners. The importance. I cut a response out of the paper & have lost it. No chewing with mouth open, talking with food in the mouth, ect. It seems the older they get the worse the manners. It is nauseating & for me it can be a deal breaker. I need somthing in writing that I can present to an educated man who otherwise is very nice.

Answer 1

MIss Manners' columns can be found at Washington Post's web site:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/linkset/2005/03/25/LI2005032501837.html

You might try some searches there such as +"table manners" +"Miss Manners"

Or go to the library and see if they have any of her books.

Answer 2

Print out and Laminate this section below:




DUDE! If there's food in your mouth, Keep your trap Shut!
To open mouth chew, is Rude Dude!

Answer 3

Sounds like an article from Dear Abby see if this is in the archives of her website.

Answer 4

He knows better, just let him decide what to do. Or just show your adversion to it by saying how disgusting. Or give him a look.

Answer 5

There are so many rules about proper table manners that it would take forever to list every nitpicky item. So let's move right to the meal. But wait! Should a man pull a woman's chair out for her before she sits? Well, it depends. If they are on a date in a nice restaurant, sure. But at a nice restaurant, the person who seats the couple will probably pull the chair out for her, so you have nothing to worry about. This leads to...
GENERAL TIP #1: For all questions involving etiquette, just use your brains

Men don't have to get all Victorian and insist on standing up every time a woman leaves or returns to the table. Just be polite. Now, if you're a guest at someone's house, don't sit until the host sits first (unless the host told you to just go sit down at the table). In fact, when dealing with hosts, remember…

GENERAL TIP #2: Never do anything until the host does it first

This includes sit, eat, put your napkin on the table, and leave. After all, the host is paying for the shindig, so at least make him/her feel like (s)he's in charge.

OK, so we've overcome the enormous hurdle of getting your rump into the chair. Now it's time to take inventory and figure out which stuff is yours. We've all gone to a dinner and used our neighbor's fork, glass, bread plate, or husband. My, how embarrassing! So here's a shortcut so that you can know exactly what is yours: (1) Your plate is in the center. (2) Knives and spoons are on your right, and forks and your napkin on the left. (3) Liquids (e.g., your water) go to your right, and solids (e.g., bread plate) go on your left.

There might be more forks, knives, or spoons, depending on what the meal is, but you get the general idea. If you need another shortcut, remember that your drink is always on the right because the first two letters in the word "DRink" stand for "Drink Right." Catchy, eh? Just know that your bread plate is on the other side, and you're set!

One note if you happen to be the host: remember that all items (e.g., salad, meal, wine, water) should be brought to each diner's RIGHT, and cleared from each diner's LEFT. That's why the glasses are all on the right.

There are so many rules about proper table manners that it would take forever to list every nitpicky item. So let's move right to the meal. But wait! Should a man pull a woman's chair out for her before she sits? Well, it depends. If they are on a date in a nice restaurant, sure. But at a nice restaurant, the person who seats the couple will probably pull the chair out for her, so you have nothing to worry about. This leads to...
. USE YOUR UTENSILS CORRECTLY
OK, hot shot. You know where your stuff is. But now it's time to know how to use everything properly. Take your napkin and place it in your lap right away when you sit down. (It should never be on the table.) Don't get fancy and try to snap it open. Just put it on your lap (NOT into your shirt). If you're a man, do not put your tie over your shoulder.
Now you can take some bread from the breadbasket. Take only one slice of bread. (It's OK to rip it from the loaf with your hands, but be neat. Don't declare war on the bread and cheer when you get your slice separated.) Here's a common mistake: DO NOT butter your bread at this point. Yeah, you heard us. This is how to do it:

Take some butter, and put it on your plate, not on the bread. Now you have your own little pile of butter and won't continually fish from the communal butter dish.
Tear a bite-size piece off of your bread.
Butter that bite-sized piece from your own little butter pile.
Eat it with delight.

EAT PROPERLY (AND REFRAIN FROM DISGUSTING OTHERS)
So now you are sitting at a lovely dinner, using your eating utensils in the most proper way possible. And then you let an enormous burp fly. Whoops! There are a lot more to table manners than just using the right fork. You also have to have correct manners with regard to how you eat.

Posture

Always sit straight up in your chair, never leaning backward, nor forward. Never let your elbows touch the table (though you can put your hands on the table all you want). When eating, do not bring your face toward the plate (a la a pig's trough), but bring the utensil up to you. You're the master! But what if you drop something? You should suavely signal a waiter so that (s)he could replace the item. (Don't pick up the dirty fork and put it on the table. That's just gross.) But if it's your napkin that escaped, just excuse yourself as you lean down, pick it up, and continue with whatever you were doing.

Passing stuff

If someone asks for something to be passed to him or her, only reach for it if you are the closest one to the item. In that case, take the one item and place it directly next to your neighbor. (Do not pass it hand-to-hand.) Continue passing the item in this manner until the original requester has the item. And oddly enough, you are not allowed to help yourself to the item until the original requester gets a chance at it (after all, (s)he asked first). When that person is done, you can ask the item to be passed back to you, and enjoy!

Salt and pepper

An additional note needs to be made about using salt and pepper: if someone asks you to pass the salt, do it in the same manner above, but pass BOTH the salt and pepper (even if only one of the two were asked for). Again, do not use guerrilla tactics and try to use the salt until after the original requester had a chance with it. Also, NEVER use salt or pepper on your food until after you have already tasted it. It's a huge insult to the cook if you try to add flavor before even tasting it stag. And while we think it's blatantly obvious, we'd feel guilty if we didn't remind you: don't ever season a dish that everyone is supposed to share (not with salt, pepper, catsup, parmesan cheese, not with anything). Keep your own creative additions to your own plate.

"Embarrassing" Moments

Did you burp? Did you spill something? Did your pet monkey poop on the table? To handle these little unfortunate accidents, just try to channel the aura of James Bond and think: be classy, be classy, be classy. If anything comes out of your mouth other than speech (e.g., burp, hiccup, chicken nugget), just excuse yourself quietly (to nobody in particular), and put your napkin to your lips. This is a good time to talk about general napkin etiquette. Never smear your napkin all over your face, or wipe your mouth hard. Just use it to blot your mouth. But if you spill something, then follow…