If you don't define your parenting style as "attachment" parenting, does that mean you are 'detached'?

Question

I ask this because I don't fit into any particular mode for parenting style yet I feel this label is a misnomer. There are many moms who are in the middle of the road who are attached to their children.

Answer 1

I'm with you and the name is a misnomer. I simply parent. And I take ideas from the entire parenting spectrum to find what works for my individual kids.

Edit to add: This question just won't leave my mind. I think my biggest problem with one form of parenting being labeled as "attachment" parenting is the feeling it gives that there is only one style of parenting that allows bonding with your child. And that's a belief that a lot of (not all but a large number of) "attachment" parents believe and promote.

Every child is different. Every parent is different. It makes sense to me that every bonding relationship will take place in a different way.

Answer 2

No, you would be a mainstream, possibly traditional, parent.

AP is really a lifestyle... you don't have to fit all the "requirments" to understand what AP is and incorperate some of the values into your own personal parenting style.

No ones strictly "AP" or strictly "mainstream" Like politics, we all fall somewhere in between and kinda make-up our own style as we go along based on what works best for us.

I think its great to put a name to a more "natural" style of parenting, so as to make it easier to seek out other like-minded moms. But thats all it is. A group of like-minded moms who see the rise in health and emotional problems facing this society and wish to do what they can to change the future.

I am raising an adult. I take that stance as a parent. But i must first get him through the baby stages. Theres no reason to push independance on him until hes ready. I don't "hover" over him... well... i do a little... but hes almost 15 months and gets into EVERYTHING! I believe that fostering security and letting him mature at his own pace will produce a self-secure independant adult.

Answer 3

I didn't know I was an attachment parent until I looked it up. That was just my style. I think that as long as you're children are loved and well cared for, labels don't matter.

Answer 4

Attachment Parenting is about being in tune with your childs needs and responding to them in a loving way. Knowing when to say yes and when to say no.
It is about not pushing independance on your child, letting them find it themselves. Responding to your childs cries because if an adult were sayin "help me, I dont feel right" you wouldnt ignore them. A child cant make themselves feel right.

It is about treating a child how you wish you were treated, with respect. Even though they are not an adult they deserve it, they still need guidelines, structure and discipline. Discipline means to teach through teaching, not punishment.

AP style parenting is not a set of rules set in stone, it is following your loving instincts and ignoring people who tell you to go against those instinct to make you baby more convenient.

You dont have to be one or the other, as long as you are loving your child and doing what is best.

You know what is best for your baby, no one else does. Thats what AP is about, you are the expert!

Answer 5

It is popular right now to be at either end of the spectrum. I, personally, do attachment parent. i breast feed until the child weans, wear my babies in a sling or other body to body carrier, co-sleep and attend to my childs needs no matter what the time of day or night.
I feel like this is more in tune with what is biologically appropriate for human infants.

I do feel like parents who keep their babies at a distance, through the use of cribs, proppedd bottles, baby buckets carriers and strollers and have their children cry themselves to sleep at night are more detached. They would have to be do deny that much of their biological survival mechanisms that have allowed our species to evolve.

if a cave man parented like a modern American the species would have dies out long ago.

Answer 6

I prefer to call myself a "hands-off mom" which mostly means I don't hover over their every move. I think the term "attachment parenting" comes from the idea that the mom must try very hard to bond with her newborn, when in fact it isn't that hard to do.

Answer 7

It is just called that because in all essence, the parent and baby are joined at the hip. Co-sleeping, always holding or carrying for the most part, hardly ever being apart etc.

I personally don't think it's healthy for a parent to throw their whole being into a child, parents need to have independent time. I also don't think it's healthy for the child.

Answer 8

I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I DO NTO WORRY ABOUT WHAT TYPE OF PARENTING I DO AS LONG AS I AM A GREAT PARENT AND TEACH MY CHILD RIGHT FROM WRONG AND LOVE HER NO MATTER WHAT THEN I AM BEING A GOOD PARENT AND HAVE A GREAT STYLE OF PARENTING.
THIS IS JUST MY OPINION. I AM VERY ATTACHED TO MY DAUGFHTER I LOVE HER MORE THAN ANYTHING!!

Answer 9

I don't mean to offend you, but I do feel that mothers who aren't teh "attachment" type ARE less attached. I have been watching the difference among my friends with different parenting techniques and I do notice detachment in the "non-attachment" people.

Answer 10

I don't have the slightest clue about that.