im very out going and i love to talk. so when i go out with my friends im not shy. but when they want me to meet their new bf i act like ive known them forever and they like that i talk a lot. the thing is i sometimes say things that shouldnt be said cause im blunt. and my friends will tell me to talk a lot and not be shy and then say stop talking. wat should i do. should i be quiet or talk?
2007-03-27 06:16:19 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Your talking is great. Your blunt comments can come across as rude. You need to learn how to curb what you say.
When you see a person who is very heavy eating a hot dog, think about what you say to that person. Rather than saying "Trying to gain some more weight?", say "I heard that turkey hot dogs are really low in calories and taste great too. Have you tried them?"
Rather than being blunt, you want to get your point across without insulting the other person. That is how good communication works.
Like you, I am outgoing and I love to talk to people. On the other hand, I make sure not to say anthing that I would not want said to me. That way I do not hurt anyone's feelings.
Take care,
Troy
2007-03-27 06:24:55 · answer #1 · answered by tiuliucci 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This happens to me when I get around guys. I used to be shy because I am a big woman and I feared rejection but I later learned that once high school is over, being a big girl is not that much of a drawback anymore when all diff guys came to me and with that confidence I spoke sexy all the time just to prove that I could get any guy I felt like and I sometimes said things that would make a sailor blush, but it was always all talk pretty much. It's fun but they get mad when you don't follow through, so beware. However, if a man had a girlfriend or wife, or even if one of my friends had a crush on him first I automatically have him in my mind as off limits so I only give him the minimum level of eye contact or conversation so as not to be rude. I avoid checking him out or siding with him against her. I also might comment on something nice he said about her or how neat it was that he did this or that to make her feel not threatened. The reason is because I have respect and also if I alienate her I lose them both as friends, but if I play it cool until she is comfortable then I could maybe start saying things to him here and there. I show sexual interest slowly and build up over time, based on his reaction. Once I began taking a sexual interest I don't stop until I get that little sign or indication that he would be down with some private time. Then I stall and go places or whatever to keep away from his sexiness, and tell him no it's not right and don't talk about it again or I'll tell my friend. Just so long as I know I could have him if I wanted too, it's enough for me. I would never betray my friend for no man's you know what. I know, it's messed up to tease a guy like that but it's makes them respect you more in the long run than if you had given in. You get to be better friends too because there is no sexual tension cause you know you can have him if you want and he knows you aren't going too so there is no need to bring it up again.
2007-04-04 13:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have a problem. This is who you are, you are shy and you don't want to talk with guy that you are not comforable with. You feel that they might her you or something. So you don't talk to any guy. but since it is your friend's boyfriend. That mean the guy have already been approve by your friend, plus they are taken. So no worry of you getting hurt. Just let your friend know this, have a talk with them. They know what kind of people you are. The shy type. Not the type to go after friend boyfriend. So just have this talk with them, and you will be find.
2007-03-27 13:27:02 · answer #3 · answered by ken401lam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have that trouble too. I tend to cut in on conversations and take the spotlight away from my friends. So, I try to watch what I'm doing and try to involve my friends in the conversation too like asking them to agree with me or asking their opinion about what we're talking about. When they are with their bf, I'll be more quiet as I don't want to interrupt or become a nuisance.
2007-04-04 10:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by HopeGrace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing is wrong with telling the truth! But be careful not to "tell your friends personal business". And make sure you are not actually flirting by saying inapropriate things to someone's "man". Men can get mixed signals really easy and think you like them, (as in want to f!@# them!) Be careful!
2007-04-04 13:02:07 · answer #5 · answered by highly_favored 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, the best thing to do is to always think before you speak... you know, being outgoing is better than being shy and quiet... just don't go over the limit by saying things that are not supposed to said... you can do it! Good luck!
2007-03-27 13:23:46 · answer #6 · answered by Lamwitchgirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you like to talk, talk. If they don't want you to talk, then they shouldn't have invited you to break the ice. They wanted you there to make sure there was conversation so if they say stop talking just change the subject to something else.
2007-04-03 17:48:54 · answer #7 · answered by Rumin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, you sound just like one of our best friends, A blunt, cocky thing that warms our heart every-time she is around. God gave us all individual gifts, don't let others put yours down, be yourself, you will be Happier in the long run. And if your friends can't handle it, are they really friends ? Wishing you the Best of Luck ad God Bless.......you go girl !
2007-04-04 11:14:12 · answer #8 · answered by fuzzypetshop 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just watch what you say... don't be too shy that you don't say anything... but don't be too talkative that everyone wants you to be quiet.
2007-03-27 13:19:52 · answer #9 · answered by Miss Cucumber Melon 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i had the same thing but i started to control myself. its not easy bur u realize that pple are watching and the impression they make lasts forever. so next time just control urself. peace
2007-03-27 15:29:30 · answer #10 · answered by lala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋