My ex-girlfriend and I are negotiating getting back together but she insists on maintaining friendships with 3 old flames 2 of whom regret not marrying her or still want to (I saw a flirty email between one of them and her which she insists was just joking). She swears the relationsihps are innocents and that she has few friends / family in this country and tells me that it is my own insecurity.......that I am putting too many restrictions on her. She has been pursuing getting back together with me so it's all very confusing and I have been isisting that if she hopes to be with me she better stop communication. Do you think it's possible and I am being too harsh? What would you do if it was your partner?
2007-03-27 05:40:28 · 11 answers · asked by hgnotify 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Whoa, friend, you're an endangered species. She's playing around and has no intention of settling down. Take that to the bank.
Come to think of it, she might be the insecure one, but YOU better be.
2007-03-27 05:45:55 · answer #1 · answered by forlove 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She's right to resist you telling her who she can and cannot talk to. And to make it an ultimatum.... well, those never work out well for anyone.
Now, if you approached it as how uncomfortable it makes you, and asked her to treat those more as friendships and less as potential "fall back positions", that might be a positive relationship discussion to have. You do have the right to tell her that something she does makes you unhappy, you just can't force it to change. She has to want to do things differently.
2007-03-27 05:48:16 · answer #2 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
merely initiate being friendly returned. yet very casually with the aid of fact he probable is making an attempt to stay removed from you in view that he's acquainted with he likes you yet has a girl pal.... To be close pals with him is merely too lots temptation. So im him, communicate over with him once you spot him, and a minimum of instruct your face at times so he doesnt forget you. i think of he will come around so lots greater whilst he and his lady pal breaks up.
2016-10-20 13:16:38 · answer #3 · answered by wishon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would definately wonder why she still wants to remain friends with these old boyfriends anyway... to me it seems shes not ready to move on. If she has any children with these men then its a different story, but if she has no ties to them anymore, she really doesnt need to remain friends with these guys... I dont think ur doing anything wrong by asking her to stop talking to them.
2007-04-04 04:20:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mom2B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is not the only one who seems insecure, you do as well .if this young lady wants to be with you why not give it a go, that is if you love her. imagine life never seeing her again and how would it feel. if she wanted to be with one of the other guys she would not have suggested getting back with you.she would be with one of them. give her your trust and get back with her if this is what you really want.do not try and come between her and her other friends or you will be putting up barriers between you and you will loose her for good.
2007-04-04 01:21:37 · answer #5 · answered by fushia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well she just wants to be friends with her ex's. its not too bad if shes the kind of person that wants that kind of thing. if she can handle a mature relationship with an ex, by all means its okay. any hanky panky and you're not too harsh. just bieng friends with someone shouldnt make u mad.
2007-03-27 05:48:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know this is a very difficult situation. its hard because she says these are her friends, yet you know they still love her. my boyfriend also maintains a close friendship with a woman that is in love with him, and she openly admits it. it hurts me but i realize i cannot control it. i trust him. its hard but i trust him not to do anything with her. i do however ask him to not hang out with her alone at a movie, or alone at home. i ask him to keep it in public when they hang out, like a crowded restaurant, or to go out in a group. its all i think i'm allowed to ask of him.
2007-03-27 05:47:13 · answer #7 · answered by seksigirlie23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that you are being too harsh. You have to set boundaries that are healthy for the relationship, and if she feels the same for you then she should understand this.
2007-04-03 11:00:49 · answer #8 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you are not being to harsh at all. maybe she feels that way but she needs to respect your feelings. any situations ive seen or been in where one partner is in contact with an old flame has lead to them CHEATING. so please dont be so hard on yourself and tell her that she needs to repect your desicion if she wants to make it work.
2007-04-04 02:40:38 · answer #9 · answered by rosie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to show her how you feel about this is to send her to the grocery store. While she's gone, move.
2007-04-03 17:15:59 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋