Ever had a long distance relationship?

Question

I have a boyfriend that lives in Douglas Az, we've been though a lot, and well Iost my virginity to him and now he wants to have a baby and get marry! but the thing is that we really dont see eachother often! do you think that he is messing with my head and messing with other girls?Do you think like this could really work out?He always telling me he wants to be with me and wants to marry me and all this other things!Waht do I do

Answer 1

yup it NEVER worked

Answer 2

You sound a little young? How old are you? I would say be weary and when the chance comes move closer to eachother before deciding marriage and children. You never said how far you live from him. I am with someone who lived about an hour away and see eachother every weekend for the past 2 years. We are now engaged and he is moving in this summer. Definitly take it slow. Being a single mom is very hard work if you end up having a kid and not staying with him.

Answer 3

Long distance can work but it doesn't sound like this is the issue here.

I met my husband in Arizona when I was on vacation two years ago. We travelled back and forth across the US monthly for regular and frequent visits to know each other. Eventually he moved near me, we lived together and eventually we got married (recently). I still felt like I was getting to know much about him...and am getting to know him more each day. I wouldn't recommend marrying until you really know and live with this person regularly.

The man you are speaking about (based on what you are writing) doesn't sound like he is trying to have a mature relationship. How does a man say he wants to marry and have children with you and not speak of a future and actually pursue it maturely.

Look for sincerity. Look for maturity. There are lots of men in the world. A man who is sincere will do things that make you feel comfortable and will provide a secure future for you.

You don't say what you have been through...but based on what little you wrote, I would say you are young and you don't know what to expect.

Honestly. I believe in love. Even long distance love. But what you describe at this point doesn't sound right.

You know this man, we don't. Just remember marriage is a long time and why do something so fast....it just doesn't sound right to me.

Answer 4

I have had a long didstance relationship, sadly it didn't work out because he decided to see someone else behind my back. We had been together for close to four years when I moved to Italy for work. He said he could handle the move bu then later decided that when I left that the love and trust went with me. I learned shortly after he sent me an e-mail telling me we were through, that he's gotten this girl pregnant only 6 months after I left and then later married her and had a child with another woman only nine months after his first child was born. I am not saying this could happen to you, but I would seriously consider taking your time before decigin to marry him. Maybe he would be willing to move where you are to pursue a career, and then you twon can ge to know each other better, before deciding on marrying. Goodluck to the both of you and I hope it works out for the better.

Answer 5

It may work out, or it may not. I had a long distance with my bf for about 9 months. We met and dated. Then our circumstances separated us for about that long before we rejoined each other.

If you know you want him and he knows he wants you, then work for it. You have to commit to each other and commit to rejoining your lives. That's what it's all for. That you are concerned he's straying is not a good thing. I'm not saying he is or is not. I'm simply saying that you are even concerned about it is troubling. Building a family together is tough. It's tough enough as it is for couples that are together. Don't delude yourself that you can do it long distance. The relationship can work. It has happened and it will happen to other people that want to make it happen. That means you don't wait and hope circumstances will work out. That means you are off-limits to other people. That means you trust the other person to be committed to you to do the same. You make a decision to make it work out and do what it takes to compromise and get back together. If you have to limit your job search and possibly compromise on a job, then do it. If you have to let go of your friends, then do it. If you have to leave family, then do it. If this is going to be your husband, the two of you have to decide to do what it takes to make a life together. Reconnect with him. Being present day-in and day-out presents a different perspective about the other person. Make sure it will work before you start a family. When you only get to see each other once in a while and talk for an hour each day on the phone, you two both present very different pictures of yourselves to each other. That likely is the most romantic, rose glassed look at each other. Real life together is a lot more turbulent. Get a look at it before you start a family.

Yes, long distance relationship do work. You have to want it and make a decision to do what it takes to make it work instead of letting it happen. I'd say hold off on building a family. Wait until your lives are together and stable. It's horribly unfair to screw over a child's life because the parents didn't do due diligence before having him or her.

Answer 6

Yes I am in a LDR now and things are working just fine. I try to get home at least once a month to see him and we talk on the phone and IM each other a lot. It is possible.

Answer 7

I think there is a good possibility that he cares for you. But, as for the wanting to marry you and have a baby...I think that is by design to tug at your heart strings. Tell him you need to keep dating one another and see how it goes. I dated my husband for a year long distance before we married.

Answer 8

I BEEN IN ONE FOR ALMOST TWO YEARS,,, AND THE WHOLE THING IS JUST BASE IN TRUST AND LOVE... IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH OF THEM FOR THIS PERSON THEN YOU ARE WASTING YOUR TIME..I WENT TROUGHT THE SAME AT THE BEGINNING IT WAS DIFFICULT... BUT I LEARN TO TRUST HIM AS MUCH AS HE DID ME... COMMUNICATION IS THE MAIN KEY... ABOUT THE KID IF YOU ARE NOT SURE DONT DO IT, UNLESS HE IS MOVING TO THE SAME STATED YOU ARE LIVING IN.... A KID IS A RESPONSIBILITY, AND IF YOU ARE NOT READY FOR ONE DONT DO IT FOR HIM OR NOBODY. AT THE END OF THE DAY THE ONE THAT WILL TAKE CARE OF THE BABY 24/7 IS YOU.. SO DONT LET ANYBODY PUSH YOU TO DO SOMETHING YOU ARE NOT READY FOR.

Answer 9

This is too important a decision for other people. Get your head together and think it out. You can do it.

Answer 10

Go and live near him. Watch him and see. Don't up and marry a stranger.

Answer 11

follow your heart...nothing these people say or do can change how your heart feels about this guy
i had one
he left me for his ex cuz he couldnt handle the distance....i still am head over heels for the guy tho