What do you do about tantrums?

Question

My sister has a 2 year old and everytime they go somewhere and he is not ready to leave, he lays out on the floor and screams and hollers. At home he is always whining and crying and acting like a baby. She just had her second child and she is really stressed out. What should she do?

Answer 1

Theres a lot more to this question than just the tantrums, when did they begin, when the new baby came, or has he been doing this for a while. When my 14 month old throws a tantrum I wont even look at him, within 2 minutes, he stops. This boy however has had mommy all to himself for 2 years and now this new baby is taking all her attention. I would suggest that when the new baby is napping, which should be often, she spend special time with the 2 year old, geting down on the floor and playing with his toys with him, my son loves this. This is a tuff situation, it's why I decided not to get pregnant again until after my son turns 2, you have to treat it with kid gloves. Bottom line, she has to stop entertaining his tantrums and start showing him that he is still very important to her, that even though she has a new baby, that he is still her baby, just now he's a big boy and will get big boy rewards for good behavior. I have found with my 14 year old daughter that if you reward the good behavior and put them in time out when they are bad and ignore them, they dont act out nearly as much, it's all about attention.

Answer 2

Pick him up and put him in the car. Cajoling and trying to reason with a crying, whining, tantrum throwing 2 year old has never worked with any of my kids. At age 2 he's still small enough that she can just pick him up. If she doesn't get a handle on it right now, he'll be out of control by age 5.

As a side note, much of his behavior could be due to jealousy over the new baby. She needs to try to spend some special time with him alone whenever she can to show that the new baby hasn't replaced him. The tantrums are probably his way of getting the attention he thinks he's lost to the new baby.

Answer 3

If she is out in public and he starts his tantrum, or if it seems like he is, leave the place, pick him up and leave. At home she is going to have to try to ignore the whining the best she can. I know it's stressful, but eventually they stop the whining if he sees that he does not get any attention for it.

Answer 4

Sometimes they are behind on sleep, or do they go places when he should be napping. She will just have to break him of it, consistancy is the key, no matter how worn out she is get up and put him in time out or the corner eventually he will get it. My youngest also acts much worse if given sugar even chocolate milk before she has had something healthy. Maybe check was he is eating and drinking, most coolade etc is packed with sugar. Tell her to hang in there things settled for me when my second was around 6 months.

Answer 5

With my daughter I let her throw her tantrum and I ignore her until she stops. Usually this works. I do this even when I'm at the store. Non-parents might stare but there are other parents who understand what you're going through. After a child realizes that they won't get any attention from throwing a fit they calm down.

Answer 6

all kids that age go through a spell. I have a 3 year old. Also u said she just had another.. The oldest one is jealous. The child was used to getting attention and now thats thier another child in the picture.. This might be why he is acting that way.

Answer 7

Honestly I whoop my son's *** if he acts like a madman. That is I used to. He didn't act like that for very long. He is 5 now and is honestly one of the most well behaved children I have ever been around. Now he only gets spanked if he is doing something that could cause him serious harm. I don't get why parent's refuse to spank thier children. You have to instill a little fear in them before they instill a little fear in you. Once they do that there is nothing you can do. they know they have the upper hand.

Answer 8

Step up to the plate and be the parent!!!!!!!!!
Discipline him every time he has a 'fit'. I realize she now has a 2nd one - but this must be 'nipped in the bud' now before he becomes worse.
I had 3, under the age of 5. There just was no time for any of them to be doing stupid things. I let them know it and they were disciplined every time they acted up.

Answer 9

The best thing to do about tantrums is......nothing. Kids throw tantrums to see if you will give in. Stay near the child and eventually the tantrum will stop. REMEMBER: never give in.

Answer 10

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TEMPER TANTRUMS
Topics you will find:
Taming Toddler Tantrums
Understanding the Tantrum-prone Child
3 Ways to Prevent Tantrums
Helping Toddlers Handle Tantrums
Managing Tantrums in Older Children
Handling Tantrums in Public


Back to topTAMING TODDLER TANTRUMS
My 18-month-old son throws terrible tantrums. When he doesn't want to do something, he often throws himself on the floor and kicks his arms and legs. I can barely bring myself to take him out in public because he throws tantrums so often. What can I do?Most toddlers throw temper tantrums. It's a typical stage of child development. To understand why your toddler throws a fit, put yourself in his place. A toddler has an intense desire to do things, but his mental and motor skills have developed more quickly than his ability to communicate. Because he doesn't yet have the verbal skills to express his frustration, he does so by throwing tantrums. But you should know that tantrums often come in two flavors: manipulative tantrums and frustration tantrums.

If you feel that your child is using tantrums as a tool to get his own way, give him verbal cues and use body language that says you don't do tantrums. Be aware that toddlers know how to push their parents' buttons. If you are a volatile person, it'll be easy for your child to trigger an explosion from you, ending in a screaming match with no winners. You send a clear message when you ignore his fits or walk away. This teaches him that tantrums are not acceptable. This is part of toddler discipline.

Frustration tantrums, on the other hand, require empathy. Take these emotional outbursts as an opportunity to bond with your child. Offer a helping hand, a comforting "it's okay." Help him out where he feels frustrated at not being able to accomplish a task. This way you establish your authority and build your child's trust. Direct his efforts toward a more manageable part of a task. For example, if he throws one of the common "I'll do it myself" fits about putting on his sock, you slip it halfway onto the foot, and he can pull it on the rest of the way. Sit down with him at eye level and caringly say, "Tell mommy what you want." That encourages him to use words or body language to communicate his feelings and needs so that he doesn't have to act them out in displays of anger.

Identify the trigger
Tantrums are usually at the worse time for parents: when they are on the phone, at the supermarket, or busy in some other way. Think about it. The very circumstances that make a tantrum inconvenient for you are what set your toddler up for an outburst. Keep a tantrum diary, noting what incites your child. Is she bored, tired, sick, hungry, or overstimulated? Watch for pre-tantrum signs. If you notice a few moments before the flare-up that your baby is starting to whine or grumble, intervene before the little volcano erupts.
Don't take it personally
You are neither responsible for his tantrums nor for stopping them. The "goodness" of your baby is not a reflection on your parenting ability. Tantrums are common when a baby starts to strive for independence.
Stay cool
Temper tantrums in public places are embarrassing, often making it difficult to consider a child's feelings. Your first thought is more likely to be "what will people think of me as a parent?" If you feel trapped and embarrassed when your child is throwing a fit in a supermarket, don't lash out. She is already out of control and needs you to stay in control. Just calmly carry her (even if she's kicking and screaming) to a private place, like the bathroom or your car, where she can blow off steam, after which you can quietly settle her down.
Plan ahead
To expect a curious toddler to be the model of obedience in a supermarket when he is tired and hungry is an unrealistic expectation. Shop when you both are rested and fed, and let him be your helper from the safety of his belted shopping-cart seat. The morning is usually the best time for toddler behavior; in the afternoon he's more likely to be tired and hungry.
To help parents gain perspective on the tantrum stage, we've divided fits into "biggies" and "smallies." Staying in the carseat is a biggie. It is non- negotiable and all the theatrics in the world will not free the safety-contained protester. But whether she should wear a red shirt rather than a blue one is a smallie. A clothing mismatch isn't worth a fight.

Occasionally, a very strong-willed child will lose control of himself during a tantrum. If often helps to simply hold him firmly, but lovingly, and say, "You're angry, and you have lost control. I'm holding you because I love you." You may find that after a minute or more of struggle, he melts in your arms as if to thank you for rescuing him from himself.

In general, don't ignore a frustration tantrum. Turning away from her behavioral problems deprives her of a valuable support resource, while you lose the chance to improve your rapport with your tantrumer. Once your toddler develops the language skills to express her needs in words, you'll be able to close the book on the tantrum stage. This usually happens between two and two- and-a-half-years-of-age, depending on your child's language development.