My boyfriend and I have been togrther for 14 months. We fight maybe twice a month. We usually just yell and scrach each other or push. I'm 34 weeks pregnant and a few days ago my boyfriend pushed me and hit me in the head and I scrached him. The police didn't believe me, because I had no marks and he did. If we have to go to court what would happen? I don't want him to go to jail.
2007-03-27 05:04:53 · 12 answers · asked by Mommy2Be 1 in Politics & Government ➔ Law Enforcement & Police
Domestic Abuse (Domestic Violence) laws differ by State. In some cases just your complaint of abuse is enough to have someone arrested. Often times an injury, whether the victim wants to support charges or not, is enough for an arrest.
Whether or not you want him to go to jail, something has to be done here. If you guys are in a relationship where you yell and scream, and it is now escalating to physical violence; it will only get worse. Statistically, unless some outside influence intervenes that violence will only get worse with time, weeks, months, maybe even years but someone will get hurt.
If you think you push each others buttons now, wait until that baby takes all of your energy and patience. Having a baby puts a lot of stress on a relationship.
Assuming you want to salvage your relationship you guys need to seek some help. Speak to a counselor, you both need to be willing to go and invest in communicating better. It is not a quick fix and will take time and effort.
If your significant other is not willing to get counseling with you, and things continue to deteriorate; consider that if domestic charges are pursued the judge will order counseling as part of the sentencing process. Remember that it should never get physical, and neither of you deserves to get hurt no matter what.
2007-03-27 05:19:52 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
if you don't want him to go to jail, perhaps the two of you should sit down and talk about growing up, i am guessing now would be a good time to do the growing up knowing you have a baby coming. if you fight twice a month then why not make it once a month and then zero times a month? Just think the only reason he will be going to jail is that the police were involved, no fights = no police = no jail?
2007-03-27 05:25:39 · answer #2 · answered by DA 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not going to like what I have to say but in my opinion, you should not be with someone that you fight that much with. Yelling is one thing but if it has already escalated to scratching and pushing it will probably get worse.
I have been married for almost 26 years and my husband and I hardly ever have an argument and we have never hit or pushed each other and if it ever did come to that then it would be time for me to leave.
If you don't want him to go to jail then who called the police. Is this really what you want to raise your child in. I certainly wouldn't. My grown children have never seen my husband and I fight. Yes we have been mad at each other from time to time and the children knew that we were angry. But never, ever did they see us fight. And never have we hit or pushed each other.
If he is hitting you in the head now just another 14 months and see what he is doing. Get out now while you and your child are still safe.
2007-03-27 05:40:55 · answer #3 · answered by nana4dakids 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Key word there being "WE."
I firmly believe that men who beat women are spineless sacks of sh** that deserve any and all punishment that comes their way.
BUT - you say "WE" scratch and push each other. Honey, when you're wailin' on him too, that's not abuse, that's a brawl!
So now that you're pregnant, he should just let you smack him around?
If he's so abusive that you must defend yourself, then leave! You won't, as you're already crying that you don't want him to go to jail.
I've no sympathy for ya! Women like you are why it's difficult for those who are really being abused to get help.
God help this poor child that's about to be at the mercy of you two buffoons!
2007-03-27 05:32:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your both at fault you both go to jail. In the state I live in If the arresting officer cannot figure out who the primary aggresor is both parties go to jail, which is a shame, because you do not like to see the victim go to jail.
In your case, it appears you both like to shove each other around, which in any relationship is not acceptable. Sounds like you have a love to hate each other relationship. You need to cut your ties before you really hurt each other.
If I were the judge I would tell you both to knock your crap off and grow up, as you have an unborn child to take care of. I would order a no contact AND anger management for both of you.
2007-03-27 06:01:20 · answer #5 · answered by tropicalg77 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get help.
You are endangering your pregnancy and, when it is born, your baby.
He hit a pregnant woman in the head??!! What a man! What a stud! What a spineless pice of sh!t!
What DO you want? 2 fights per month for the rest of your life (which may NOT be until your kids turns 18)??
2007-03-27 05:11:11 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Twenty eight seperate pushing/scratching and shouting matches. In addition, about 8 of them have been when you are "with child".
I commend you guys. A relationship made in heaven that you have there.
2007-03-27 06:55:38 · answer #7 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a lovely and healthy relationship there (note sarcasm). First, ditch the boyfriend. Second, you didn't state they arrested you or your boyfriend. If he does go to jail, let him rot.
2007-03-27 05:10:32 · answer #8 · answered by Groovy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you didnt want him to go to jail why did you call the police? You guys need counseling. You dont have a healthy relationship.
2007-03-27 05:12:27 · answer #9 · answered by eawolfpack04 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
u dont have to go through this, get seperated... and more importantly get a divorce... u dont have to spend the rest of ur life like this. and when u chose a boyfriend or a husband be more careful and chose a responsible person.
2007-03-27 05:18:47 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋