Should I let him see her.Or should I let her decide.My husband don't want him no where near her.What should I do??
2007-03-27 05:03:56 · 23 answers · asked by Eboney 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That's yo baby daddy. Don't you be messin' with yo baby daddy.
Let her decide. In the end, if she wants to see him, she will anyway. May as well be on your terms.
2007-03-27 05:06:50 · answer #1 · answered by Chyvalri 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
I think if her father wants to see her, there's nothing legally you can do to stop it. Since he hasn't seen her in so long, there's a few things you might want to do:
1. Look up the legalities for your state online or call a lawyer to discuss it.
2. Talk to her counselor at school and let him/her know what's going on. Your child could probably use some one-on-one counseling regarding this.
3. Insist that the first visit be supervised (by you or a trusted adult who the child knows). That person should stay in the background allowing the father to take the lead and spend time with his daughter, but it will make your daughter more comfortable to have someone there she knows and trusts. See if the school counselor has any other suggestions.
Good luck to you and your daughter!!! :)
2007-03-27 12:09:57 · answer #2 · answered by searching_please 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think that you should let your daughter decide whether she wants to see her own father or not. I mean, she is 10 years old and she is not dumb. She knows that this man-her step-dad-took care of her while her father was absent, but, unless the father is a drug user, an alcoholic, or anything else that would make you feel that your daughter is unsafe around him, your husband cannot tell you that she cannot see her own dad. Let her decide for herself. She may want to hear what he has to say that may decide for her in the future whether she wants to continue to see him or not. I think that your husband may be jealous because he is not physically the father and that this guy is just going to come out of no where and act like nothing happened. I can understand that, but, he is her father, and unless you two could prove that he is a danger to her, I would suggest he backs off and let her decide and do not let him decide for her. He may make her turn against him which would make the father win-and I doubt that your husband wants that.
2007-03-27 12:13:10 · answer #3 · answered by uchaboo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First, consider why he hasn't seen her in so long. Was it a court order, jail, or other incident that might cause you and your husband to be concerned for her safety? If not, if he just stopped coming around, let her decide. She's old enough to know what she wants. She'll probably want to at least see him, but might not want a continued relationship. Most courts would allow a child her age to decide.
As for your husband, even though he has been there and has helped you to raise her, this is not his decision. It's going to hurt him in the long run if he continues to make negative comments. Especially if she decides to meet her dad and begin a relationship with him.
2007-03-27 13:03:46 · answer #4 · answered by eallison 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think that you should let your daughter see her father, but you should let her decide when she is ready. Why doesn't your husband want her to see him? If you was in her dad's shoes, would you want to be able to see your daughter? I would think so! Imagine how he feels, imagine how it would feel not getting to see your own flesh and blood? I have a 10 year old sister and she never saw our dad until my high school graduation. She didn't even know who he was, she asked our mom who that man was. Not seeing our Dad has caused alot of problems for all us! Your daughter deserves to see him. Why don't you ask her what she wants to do and then do it? But all I have to say is don't keep her from him, its one of the worst things you could ever do.
2007-03-27 12:31:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is he attempting to see her? At 10 she probably should be given the option, along with good parental guidance from yourself and your present husband. And supervision should be provided if she goes on visitations for awhile, maybe at a grandma's house or aunt. 3 years is a long time to go without having any contact with your child, but if he has truly turned his life around and has realized his responsibilities you have the obligation to your daughter to work thru this. Think of how she will feel if years down the road she finds out her natural father tried to contact her but you and your husband blocked it, she could seriously be angry with you both for it, do you want to risk that? Good luck to you all and God Bless.
2007-03-27 12:09:10 · answer #6 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not solely your husband's decison. I commend him for caring for her like a father should, that's good of him. But she still does have another father. It is up to all of you to decide what is the best way to go about it.
Maybe have a heart to heart with her biological dad, letting him know that he has not fulfilled his duties, he has ignored his child and been selfish, and you can not allow him to walk in and out of your daughter's life and hurt her. She is your child to protect, so you will not stand by and let him hurt her in any way. If he's willing to try and make amends, and wants to be a better dad, than let him. But he needs to prove his worth to you and your husband.
And I would also talk to your husband about this as well. He can't deny your daughter a chance to have her other father in her life. She may resent him later for that. He maybe feels threatened by him all of a sudden showing up, and wanting to be a dad, it's your job to make sure he realizes how important he is, and that he can't be replaced, but that your daughter deserves to spend time with her other dad as long as he is starting to make sacrifices and do what he should, putting the child first.
2007-03-27 12:16:16 · answer #7 · answered by nymom 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Talk to a lawyer. If the dad wants to see her, the law won't care what your husband or what your child "wants."
Even if he doesn't care to see her now, be prepared for the deadbeat to show up at any point in the child's life and try to be dad-of-the-year. Talk to a lawyer now and get your ducks in a row so you won't be taken by surprise.
Luckford's advice does not apply in all states. Here in WA state, children have no say in the matter until they are 18.
2007-03-27 12:12:00 · answer #8 · answered by thezaylady 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
unless your husband is a psycho alcoholic convict or something alonhg those lines, then ui think ur daughter's father deserves to have a relationship with her or at least see her. ur husband probably feels that if u oet ur daughter see her father then that might result in u getting closer to the father as well. he's justjealous but is selfish not to let her see her father. - unless he just got out of jail for rape or murder or somehting
2007-03-27 12:08:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unless he is any kind of a threat to her, it's not your choice anymore. If you didn't want him to be the father of your child you shouldn't have slept with him. Your daughter and his relationship is between the two of them now. Any wrong doing on his part, he will be the one who has to answer for it later on in life. If you stand in the way of their relationship guess who the blame will fall on then?
2007-03-27 12:48:55 · answer #10 · answered by cybereagle07 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you decide then your daughter could be emotionally hurt
and if you let her decide she could be ok but your husband would be mad at you and her if she chose to see him i say let your baby daddy swing by the house with you and your Husband in a different room than your daughter and her father,so if anythingv happens then you'll be there to take care of it!!
2007-03-27 12:50:55 · answer #11 · answered by -♥-Tay-Tay-♥- 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋