Im 21 years old and i've been with my boyfriend for 7 years. He is 22. For the past months his been telling me that he has a feeling that im am cheating on him, Which im not. i've run out of things to tell him. thats why im asking for help. i dont want to lose him?
2007-03-27 04:59:29 · 15 answers · asked by jleigh_m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm surprised that no one has done the math to make this observation... but if you're 21 and have been dating 7 years, that means you've been boyfriend-girlfriend since you were FOURTEEN YEARS OLD. I'm sorry... I don't want to hurt your feelings... but you really should take a step back to look at things in perspective and take a reality check.
Sometimes high school sweethearts get married right out of high school, and occasionally it even works out for them (the statistics are horrible though). However, if you're in your early twenties and have been dating since age 14, it doesn't sound like you're on a path toward marriage. It sounds like you both know the relationship isn't going to last, but neither of you wants to pull the trigger on a break-up... because it's the only relationship you've ever known, and neither of you really know how (emotionally) to break up with someone.
It could be that the guy is cheating on you, because such accusations are often a defense mechanism or a way to deflect guilt (unless you guys are crazy-religious, you're kidding yourself to believe that a 22 year old guy has been monogamous since age 14-15). It could be that the guy has low self-esteem and can't face the prospect of being single, and is nervous that you're outgrowing the relationship.
Ultimately, it doesn't really matter either way. The root problem is that you're SUPPOSED to go through a few relationships at your age so you can learn about relationships, grow from the experiences, and have a more healthy relationship as a result when you do finally settle down. I know that this is the only relationship you've ever known, and it has to be terrifying and unthinkable to lose it, but as you get older you'll realize that it's a perfectly normal and healthy process of growing up. It's a scary time, but I'm sure you'll be fine... best wishes to you.
2007-03-27 05:24:14 · answer #1 · answered by Steve 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do the two certainly one of you certainly have that retains you jointly now? seems such as you're actually not very severe approximately love and dedication, or you sorting out in the approach what you want and don't want. you would be able to desire to attempt to artwork it out in counseling, yet which will require lots adulthood. you have not shown lots of that so some distance. perhaps this is extra advantageous to pass your individual techniques and not make purely about all those errors sooner or later. a sprint solitude will assist you get to appreciate and love yourselves devoid of the distraction of a dating. you would be unable to wreck or be harm once you're on my own for 3 months. Take it from there when you have the two healed (regardless of if with one yet another or in my view).
2016-11-23 19:16:37 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person lacking trust for his other half is a sad thing.
You have to make him see that if he keeps on making groundless accusations, this relationship would not make headways.
Are you sure you wanna be together with someone who is always jealous and not trusting you? It's not healthy at all.
Loads of effort required to convince a suspicious other half. Either you are prepared to waste time and efforts assuring him else you know what u should do.
Pls evaluate this relationship.
All the best!
2007-03-27 05:09:03 · answer #3 · answered by glitzynicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to lose him, yet he's the one falsely accusing you? Are sure it's love you both share and not attachment? I'm quite sure a man who loves you wouldn't be going around making you feel bad because he "feels" you are cheating on him. Talk to him, seriously and clearly.
2007-03-27 05:03:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He seems to be insecure about his relationship with you. Some men's ego need to be constantly massaged. Perhaps it is his fear of losing you that makes him question your feeling toward him (as he sees them). This can be very complicated. Try to keep assuring him of your commitment and try couple counseling. I'm sure that will more than likely help.
2007-03-27 05:08:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well sweetie let me tell you something. they say if he is accusing you it's because he is doing something wrong. you know your not doing anything wrong so why keep explaining yourself? what you need to do is flip the script on him and ask him? there is no reason that out of the clear blue sky he is going to accuse you for no reason maybe his guilt is getting to him? I'm not saying he is doing anything but don't let his guilt get you down just ignore him stop[ explaining yourself, walk away from him when he says it to you and see what his reaction is. plus you are far too young to waste your time on that nonsense you don't deserve it!
2007-03-27 05:06:10 · answer #6 · answered by Nikki25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF YOU two have been Romantic for SEVEN YEARS.....? How come You TWO are Not Married?
Could it be, that HE DOESN'T REALLY LOVE YOU?
Most guys often say, "Why buy the Cow, when the Milk is Free!" [No insult intended]
Ask yourself WHY you aren't Married?
Thanks, RR
2007-03-27 05:04:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u sure he isnt cheating? he sure seems to have a guilty mind all of a sudden.
my ex use to accuess me, but he was the one who really cheated, and blamed it on he thought i did, so he did. i was about your age, and we were at that time together 8 years
2007-03-27 05:04:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is not much to do here. If he doesn't believe u he doesn't believe u. tell him if he doesn't believe u than you deserve better, and you might just have to leave. He'll come crawling back.
2007-03-27 05:04:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do things that will make him think you are cheating..Reassure him that you love him and show him that you do..Remember actions speak louder than words..GOOD LUCK!!!!!
2007-03-27 05:05:48 · answer #10 · answered by halfpint22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋