Burnt out and want to recharge, also renewing my relationship of 1 year?

Question

My girlfriend and i just had our 1 year anniversary on sunday. We have had some pretty ruff times but we have also had alot of good times. However, we fight all the time. There isn't a day that goes by that we don't fight about something stupid( and it turns into a huge fight) She doesn't trust me because i hid things behind her back several times(smoking cigerettes when i said i quit) and she hates lying. Ive apologized to her but its not enough and i understand that. I know it needs time. However, i also know that im not acting like the same person towards her anymore, and that cause alot of problems im not as sweet to her anymore. i want to be but i feel so burned out. And i guess tired. not of her but of life. I broke up with her last night because its not fair for to have to put up with me when she deserves better. We are still friends and i have some time to recharge and get back with her, Any recommendations as to what i can do to recharge would be great.

Answer 1

Muahahha o yea... Frist off get more comfortable with the things you do... the cigerettes is a good case in point. Why lie? Not talking about putting it behind her back ether thats easy to answer I'm talking about to yourself, then to her. I mean if your not ready to quit then you didn't lie to her, and you wouldn't need to lie to her agian. I'm pretty sure this is a common theme in your relationship. You unfornatly have a habit of pretending to do something you don't feel like doing, BAD! That stuff usually starts inside the individual... which would mean you do alot of things, even for yourself, that you don't know why and don't understand. TIme to spend sometime getting to know you! Not talking about go golf, watch TV, or find a hobby. Those are wonderful distrations, what you need to do is understand your view of this life a little better, you need a change in prespective. The best way to do that is to understand why your feeling the way you do about everything in your life, not just favorite colors or if you like poetry. Its far more complicated then that... but your frist best bet is conversation with fellow human beings that share the same insecurities you do. You've also need to understand that those "stupid" agreements are all transgressions from deeper problems. Which you know well comes down to your inablity to be honest and your girlfriends inability to accept why. Really the fact is you don't need to cut her out of her life, but that shows the level of insecurities you hold due to this compounding problem, but you need her to better understand emotionally whats going on. It helps to have a friend, lover, or someone who can put up with your "stuff" why your working thru such things. Besides it takes an unbelieveable insecure or overly-confident person to take it all on alone. Really to be honest your fix is something that everyone could use and really is beyond the scoop of this forum, it something that you most feel good just trying and find a way to be happy with the attempt. Namely loving yourself and this world your in..... which to help you in the right direction so you don't get distrated by the cliche' term... love is a human symbol used to describe the sum whole of all feelings for an object, so in a lot of ways anger is love, because it is a feeling. So understand the world is very complicated place and its time to see were you fit in all of it. Then maybe you'll feel more confident about who you are, by what you did to get there.... sorry I'm just throwing this one you, but I don't know enough about her nature to say anything about her really to you... good luck, life is what you make of it, so start making something you can live with.... i just wish it was all that easy thou...