My daughter was about 8 months old when my husband and her father abandon both us. I filed for the divorce and he was granted visitation of course, but it was to be supervised and the communication was to be through both our parents. She is now 19 months old and he has only came to two of his visitations in which he brought her back an hour early. His mother started calling my mother again and she told me she was not able to deal with her because of the stress (she's had 3 heart attacks so far) so now there's no one to facilitate the visitations and after 10 months I don't want them taking her anywhere because I don't think she'll remember them and don't want to put her in a car with complete strangers to her. I also have a wonderful man now who loves her as much as her biological father should, and he is willing to adopt her but money is short for that now. I don't know what to do about any of it..
2007-03-27 04:06:29 · 10 answers · asked by Rachel M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
in our state ~ if the father has seen the child within the year then his rights are protected ...... call a local attorneys office and speak to them about it (find one that says free consultations)
2007-03-27 04:27:18 · answer #1 · answered by ~*common sense*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my cousin went through this a few years ago. The biological dad didn't want anything to do with his daughter so he didn't send his child support payments on time and didn't show up for his visits. When he did show up, he would return her early. Well, my cousin met a new man who adored her daughter! They married and then spoke to the biological father about giving up his rights as a parent. This worked out well for all involved. The biological dad didn't have to pay child support and never worried about visitations with his daughter. My cousins daughter has more love and affection than she could have hoped for. She has her new dad's last name and is extremely happy. She knows the truth about her real father and still couldn't be happier! They spoke to a lawyer about changing the rights over. It wasn't very expensive. They were able to avoid a long drawn out court battle, which diminished the cost quite a bit. I hope this story helps you. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-03-27 11:20:58 · answer #2 · answered by Hermione 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am in a very similar situation. I was going to ask the biological father to sign away his rights, but a lawyer told me that even if he did, he could change his mind and re-gain his 'rights'. (we can 't afford adoption either.) Good luck and best wishes. Children are not a right, they are a privilage. Blood is not thicker than love. Your child will know who her real daddy is no matter what happens. Any man can make a baby, but only the good ones stick around to raise them.
2007-03-28 15:34:43 · answer #3 · answered by bellehay 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make another application to the Court to have the visitation Order revised to accommodate the situation. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to do this, you can probably do it without an attorney. Make sure the Court is aware of your concerns and most States have advocates in the Family Court Office to assist with such situations and/or requests. I pray for this matter to be rectified in your favor.
2007-03-31 07:50:36 · answer #4 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she only has one dad, but is lucky to also have a "bonus dad". It is always easier for a father to take a hike BECAUSE of the mother. Do you or did you ever put an assult on him? most everyone does? have you ever had a restraining order on him? most do. and supervised? wow, would you like that? No one likes to be "owned" and in our fine AMERICAN culture. Mothers "own" the father of their children. You recieved the house, money, and children. Just like every other mother in the country. This is a heck of a mess in american culture. Your child only has one father. Give him1/2 of the child you both made. The child is not yours, or should be. If you are lucky enough to be given, and it seems you do from the father view, consider yourself very blessed and thank him, but also encourage this relationship. She only has one father, and the "bonus" dad should encourage this also. That is what is also wrong, fathers DO NOT stand up for other fathers. What a shame. You as a mother "own" this man. You own his money, his child, his drivers liscense, his passport, and his future. Yet, you want more? Ladies, mothers, aunts, sisters, daughters, the fathers need you to stand up for us fathers and give us1/2. You should see 50% of custody to the fathers, and the house and the money, and all of the rest........it is far from that. And we all know this to be true. What a shame for our children, to grow up and know no difference but to complete this circle when they get older and yes, divorced. And pls do not use "your dad" or "your mom" geez. That puts the child on "sides" from the get go. You will ALWAYS be the childrens "family". If you have more children with this bonus dad then they should not be STEP sisters/brothers. They should be and are BONUS brothers/sisters. How blessed we all are and how wrong it is that we do not realize it.
2007-03-27 11:39:36 · answer #5 · answered by schmidt50401 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Well since the biological father is acting like he wants nothing to do with her ask him if he just wants to give up his rights, that means no visits or anything. If he does (which it sounds like he will) just go back to the courts and then have him adopt her.
2007-03-27 11:12:48 · answer #6 · answered by sarah 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the natural dad is willing to sign away his parental rights, your new husband can adopt her without much expense. If the natural dad is not willing to sign over his rights.. you are in for a lengthy battle and would most likely not win..
Maybe you can point oput to the natural dad that if he signs his rights away he also gets released from any child support or financial obligations to the child. If he is as absent a father as you claim.. he is likely to go for this..its not like he has a bond with the baby.
2007-03-27 11:11:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the circumstances. Supervised visitations usually means that there is potential danger to the child. If this is the case, you gotta do what you gotta do to protect your chld.
Tell him to talk to a lawyer. Come up with a structured visitation schedual, and have consiquences for his not showing up.
2007-03-27 11:25:23 · answer #8 · answered by a_poor_misguided_soul 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You would need to go to court and your ex would have to relinquish his parental rights in order for your new husband to adopt.
2007-03-27 11:28:07 · answer #9 · answered by KathyS 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look up the number for legal aid. They can help you.
2007-03-31 07:41:52 · answer #10 · answered by DAYNA S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋