HELPPPP!!!!!! Need Confidence>>>>?

Question

I am a 21 yr old guy. I had finished my graduation. I find it difficult to speak boldly in front of a group of people. Even I find it difficult with my class mates when they are in group. My mouth and hands get starts to shivering. And many people have noticed it. I feel ashame of myself. I cant control shivering. It comes automatically. And I cant speak boldly because of that. I have good knowledge. But when I am in front of a group of people I cant communicate properly. I am shivering and cant speak properly which sometimes leads to tears in my eyes in front of those people. I am in a good profession. But these incidents are a shame to me and it spoils my image. I want to speak boldly without any fear in front of any group of people( especially literal people ). Please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Help ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

You're in a circle of self-fulfilling prophecy. You were nervous once when you had to speak in front of people (which is normal for EVERYONE), but instead of shrugging it off, you anticipated that the next time you needed to speak in front of a group of people, the same nervous symptoms would happen again. You believed it and so they did happen.

How to change that...?

Many people are nervous the first time they try anything new not just speaking in public. The first time they rode a bike, drove a car, kissed someone romantically - you get the idea. As time goes on and you become more experienced at those things the nervous ends because you are familiar with them. Speaking in public is the same way.

An example that comes to mind right now is Jay Leno on the Tonight Show. Mr. Leno does a monolog at the opening of every show. Being human, he sometimes messes up, but he acknowledges the flubs usually with humor, and moves on. It works well enough for him that he has his own show. Watch him and see how he handles public speaking.

Answer 2

I don't think you can achieve any talent without practice, practice, practice.

Start with doing it alone somewhere so you get used to the sound of your voice and look in a mirror with some smiling and looking around the room from right to left.

Then tell ONE person ( who knows nothing about your topic) to come in and listen to you. Run through the speech 2or 3 times with this person and tell them they don't need to ask questions or anything......they just need to sit there and be an "audience"

By this time you will probably be getting a little bored with your speech which means you are getting a little more comfortable with it and perhaps you are now in the habit of looking around the room as you speak.

Now work your way up to 2 or 3 friends and ask them to spread themselves around the room so you can practice looking back and forth as you speak. Again, do this a few times and simply tell your friends you need to practice and they are doing you a HUGE favour.

If you are able to, get your friends to go into one of the lecture halls (or other large room) and do it a couple more times. Now you are getting a little more relaxed not only with your audience but also with the venue in which you may have to speak. You could also book one of the large meeting rooms that is similar to the type of room where you will have to speak during a business meeting.

Hope this helps:)

Answer 3

You're in a new and challenging situation now. You need to grow out of it. Here's how I did it: I found that just being my good and friendly self in any situation, no matter what, made the difference. This the real you that needs expression. You feel inferior in the situation, but you need to see that you count just as much as anybody else. You need to realize that you don't have to be perfect, because the inferiority is related to the fear of failure. Just try to express your real true and good self in all situations, regardless of the outcome. Little by little you will gain confidence, see the foolishness that is making you doubt your good real nature, and grow out of it.

It's a process, another level now that you need to achieve. Don't worry about what people think. How about all the handicapped people that struggle everyday despite their inferiority? You can do it too!

Answer 4

You have social anxiety disorder. Lots of people have it. If you were to seek professional help for it you'd most likely get put on anti depressants. I think the best way to overcome some of that is to try to realize no one is better than you are and many people have those same fears they are just not as intense so they can hide it. There is so much to be said about that so look up social anxiety on the net and you'll get tons of info.

Answer 5

Practice in a mirror at home. Practice your smile, practice your words. Part of your fear is due to not knowing how you look when you speak.

Take a martial art. Karate or Jujitsu are both good confidence builders. It helps to create balance in body and mind.

Answer 6

If you need to speak in front of a large group, then ask your doctor for an anti-anxiety medication. Xanax works well for your condition, also propranolol is great for this kind of "stage fright". I would reccomend Kava Kava but they took it off the market for liver damage.. so don't do that! but you really will feel much better if you take these.

Answer 7

I can advice you not to look straight to the eyes of the audiences when you are speaking,just try to look over their heads,maybe it will be better.