Ive been with my boyfriend for a year now, and I feel like he is trying to control me, I left him once, because he was always mean to me, he begged me back and said he would change, well, he did for about two weeks. Everyone I know hates him and thinks i can do better, but i really do love him, but he really needs to grow up even though hes 7 years older than me. We argue alot, and when we do its really bad, but when we are good, we are great. I dont know what to do...im lost i sometimes think id be better off without him, but then again i dont know what i would do without him, and id loose everything...a place to live, a car, and a phone. i dont want to stay with my mom, and i dont really talk to any of my friends anymore, because of our relationship....im so confused!!!
2007-03-27 03:17:20 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
What the heck this is so wierd everything you just said explains my life!!! OMG we have like the same problems!!! I am shocked i thought i was the only one who expereinces this wierd behavior!!! Well I must tell you, you are not alone and I really dont have any advise because i am still with my guy, but he has changed a bit cuz this last time we seperated i kicked his *** out i made him leave instead of me allways leaving and having to run back to MOM, then when he seen i was happily alone and making it without him, something clicked and he realized what he was loosing and well he came running back as usual and now he knows best!!! I call the shots!!! lol jk He still acts up once in a while but nothing major YET thank god!!!! finally my mom is getting along wiht him again, it was hard for her to see what a jerk he was being to me!!! My best advise to u is just stay strong and let him know u are not putting up with it anymore he needs to change or else you will be making some changes!!! If he acts like he just doesnt care and is not making an effort i would say leave his ***!!! Life is too short to be stuck in this type of relationship too many good men out there!!! Good Luck if u ever want to chat my email is angelbabe_91761@yahoo.com
2007-03-27 04:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by Priscilla R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love him or leave him,
Your situation sounds like a jam from what I hear. I believe that it is not right for anyone, man or woman, to control someone. If he is trying to control you then said he would change, but hasn't changed then chances are he may never change. I'm not trying to sound rude because I don't know this guy, but that's just how the world works. If he really loves you he would attempt to change for you and stop controlling you. I'm not saying that he doesn't love you. I'm trying to say that it could be because of how he was raised or the people he hangs around with. I think you should follow your heart and do what you think is the best thing to do for YOU, no one else. You are your own person. You shouldn't have to give up your friends or feel like you have to because of a relationship. We're all like each other and have feelings. I don't think that your feelings should be hurt or make you feel small. It's just not right. Like I said, follow your heart and do what you think feels right to you. If you need any other advice, just come back and send a message.
2007-03-27 10:32:19 · answer #2 · answered by candy_lover_4ya2002 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation, and I think you know the answer in your heart.....it is very difficult to leave someone, especially when there are complications (like housing etc), but in the long-term you'll be glad that you did. This is your life, you only get one, and it's not worth wasting it with someone who is making you unhappy. Presumably the arguments and the controlling side really gets to you? If there are more negative things than the good times, then you owe it to yourself to move on. He obviously is not going to change, if he's already older than you, then he's probably matured as much as he's going to do. It worries me that you say you don't talk to your friends much anymore because of your relationship? Does he not like you seeing them? In which case....he sounds WAY too controlling, he should be happy you have friends, not try to separate you from them.
I know it's difficult to find somewhere to live and a car, phone, these practical things however shouldn't be enough for you to stay with someone who makes you unhappy. You CAN find somewhere to live, even with your Mom temporarily, you can work out a new car and phone eventually....one step at a time. But please follow your heart and it sounds like it's already telling you to leave him....
2007-03-27 10:25:11 · answer #3 · answered by HC123 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not a healthy relationship, and it's always easier said than done to leave. Chances are if everyone hates him, they have good reason. There's nothing wrong with going home to mom for a short while. Just busy yourself with a job and getting reaquainted with your friends. You will forget him. You can't make a person change for you. People develop habits in relationships that are hard to break, no matter how much he "loves" you, he's used to treating you a certain way, because for whatever reason, he does not respect you. Walk away, believe it or not, there is life outside of that relationship.
2007-03-27 10:23:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The good should outweigh the bad in any relationship for it to be worth it. There's always room for improvement, but it takes both partners to be willing to work on it. I can appreciate you being worried about losing the roof over your head, car and phone if you chose to leave......however, those things aren't reasons to stay. Be grateful you have a mom you can stay with temporarily. If this is what your relationship is going to be, then it's much better to get out of it now. It sounds like much heartache for you. You should be happy when you're in love with someone.
2007-03-27 10:44:57 · answer #5 · answered by sassysusie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy is obviously no good for you. You will have to give up a car, a phone, and a house--but isn't it worth it if you can get a real life? Real love? He's not going to change--and it's just sketchy that he's seven years older than you and still acting immature. That's a clear indication, and I think that you know the answer already.
2007-03-27 10:22:57 · answer #6 · answered by Emiline 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love him or leave him that is not a choice anyone can make for you. but if all ya'll do is argue and fight then whats the point in being together and if he is controlling i hate to say it but i doubt if he is gonna change. and remember guys dont mature as quickly as us gils do so just be patient maybe it'll all work out.
2007-03-27 10:22:31 · answer #7 · answered by rebelpoet26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not as confused as you care to admit. He's a loser and keeping up the pace of your counterpart has weakened you. Go to your mom's now and be grateful you have one.My mom is gone now and I have no one and in the same boat.Only difference is I see it, admit it and am taking the steps no doubt to happiness.
2007-03-27 10:30:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kpele! means i am sorry in nigeria. I am in the same situation sort of for 2 yrs nw. shld i leave, shld i go? My darling, noone can answer that question except you! Friends hv told me to leave him a million times ,and I alwayz end up not speaking to them anymore, even when i know they are right. I just love him to a fault and struggle to leave all d time!!!! But i can't! Besides, he owes me a lot of MONEY!! Fancy that?!!!!
2007-03-27 10:26:28 · answer #9 · answered by nnenna i 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
oh gilr i really feel your pain..what i would do in this situation is (and I have DECIDED to also do this with my guy) forget about him..take care of you..really take care of your business, while you are with him and then once you are secure enough then you can leave him never look back..i mean get a job..save money..do for you so when the time comes for you to bail then you can...good luck
2007-03-27 10:24:49 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋