I'm Gonna Marry My Boyfriend Next Year... I Don't Think He's Gonna Formally Propose (He's not really romantic)

Question

But I want to have a formal proposal. So how would it be if I do the proposing?

Can you give me some ideas on the place and HOW to do it with panache??

My boyfrien's really sweet and takes good care of me. And we've been in a relationship for a while now. He's not really romantic, but he does love me and wants to marry me for sure.
We come from an Indian background and therefore we have an engagement ceremony (where we EXCHANGE rings) which is why there is a confusion about actually going down on one knee.

I want to do it, but how?

Answer 1

So, you want to propose to your fellow. That's cool. Gutsy and I admire you. :) Go someplace that is special to the two of you. My hubby proposed to me at the zoo, in front of the monkeys. We go to the zoo a lot, so it's "our" place. We actually got married there too. :) So, best thing is to do it someplace where the two of you can have a private moment. If you want to get down on one knee and ask him, that's fine, but don't buy him a ring. See what he says first and then go together.

Answer 2

I'm curious about the statement of planning to get married without any proposal. I know you have been together a long time and you expect it but you are jumping the gun a bit. After all you are planning something that --so far-- he has not agreed to. Are you sure marriage is in his plans at this stage in life?

You know I'm rather traditional and I think the guy should do the proposing. If you are non-traditional thats fine but remember you have to tell everyone--and most girls from India that I know could NEVER tell their parents that they proposed to a boyfriend. Men tend to be commitment phobs and they propose when they are ready to get married and not before. They often end great successful relationships when they feel the woman wants to get married and they aren't ready. I know if I hadn't discussed it with my boyfriend before he became my fiance I would never have the nerve to propose to him.

If you are thinking about it, why don't you just mention to him some ways that you would love. Or comment on how your friends got engaged--and if you liked it or hated it. Give him hints on what you expect. It sounds to me like if your tradition is to exchange rings its kinda hard to spring it on someone. The girl would always have to know when its going to be so that they can have their own ring with them. So you shouldn't surprise it on him either. So how does it normally happen? You talk about it first, go ring shopping together, and plan out the evening together.

If you still decide YOU want to propose to him, then it should be easy to figure out exactly how you want it done since you are the one with the fantasy of a formal proposal. Formal to me almost always dictates, really nice restaurant and a bottle of wine. Maybe get the wait staff to bring champagne at the dessert course and they could put a ring into each glass for you. Then when the glasses come with both rings in it, you can propose to him. Or take a trip together and propose at the most romantic location--you know the movie scene of The Eifel Tower or Empire State Building. Walking along the beach at sunset. Most other creative ideas aren't "formal."

Answer 3

I'm going to respectfully disagree with the folks who are saying that guys who won't "formally" propose are lazy, or that they're not worth it, or that if he's not going to make SOME effort into asking you to marry him, then he's not worth it and move on. That guys who say that they're not romantic are lazy and worthless, because they're not.

My husband proposed to me while we were driving home one night after taking my car to be serviced. He didn't get down on one knee, heck, he didn't even stop the car. Just asked me if I wanted to do it, and all of a sudden I knew I did. At that point I honestly didn't care that he hadn't bought a dozen, long stemmed red roses, hadn't hired a plane to write "will you marry me" in the sky, hadn't booked a reservation at a 5 star restaurant, this wonderful man who I've loved for over 20 years wanted ME to be his wife.

My husband is not a romantic guy either, at least not in the way women THINK a man should be romantic. But he shows he loves me in so many other ways. I'll get up in the morning, late for everything, running kids out the door, chaos everywhere, get in the car thinking that I've also got to stop and put gas in the car, and lo and behold, the gas fairy has filled my tank. Or, I'll have run out of something, and just as I'm putting on a coat to run out the door, in my hubby walks with the very thing I'm running out to get. I could go on and on, but it's not the BIG things that make romance, it's honestly the little things, the everyday things that a husband and wife do for each other that keep the romance alive, and show each other just how important they are to each other. A successful marriage is built on thinking of your spouse's needs AHEAD OF YOUR OWN. So concentrate on building a happy, successful marriage, and less on the romantic "trappings" that jewelry designers/manufacturers, restaurants, card companys and romance novelists try to tell you are romantic.

Answer 4

If you already know he wants to marry you and because of your heritage you're going to have a formal ceremony exchanging rings, then I wouldn't worry about a "down on one knee proposal". especially if it's not his style to be mushy and romantic! Let him do it in his own way...he'll feel more comfortable and it'll mean more! My husband is not a romantic either...and now I look back and we have the greatest giggles over my proposal! I was hanging out with my sister and he came in and picked a fight with me...and snapped at me and told her to leave the room...he shut the door behind her and came up and hugged me and whispered in my ear....in the sweetest voice..."will you marry me?" and gave me my ring! That's his personality...and doing it any other way would have been awkward!

Answer 5

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you asking him.

He may claim to not be romantic, but I think you will find that once you are romantic with him, he will be romantic as well.
Plan a dinner, maybe at a restruant where you went together frequently or as a first date... ask them for a more private booth and maybe even pack up some "candlelight" (ask the maitre' de if this is ok, they may have a policy about actual "fire" candles). Tell him your feelings, "We have been dating for now, and I want for us to have "forever" together.... .... will you marry me"
Its as simple as that. Something that comes directly from the heart IS romantic and he is likely to be just as honest and loving back.

Answer 6

It seems that your boyfriend is a conservative type. Have you already discussed the wedding together or is it a traditional Indian wedding where both your families will have a say on it? If it's a traditional kind of a wedding, then perhaps he decided to propose first to your parents about your plan to get married. If you still want to have a western type of proposal, try to discuss this with him. I don't think it's distasteful to ask your partner about the arrangement of your engagement.

Answer 7

is this an arranged marriage? till you pass with the aid of with it, not something is very final. tell your mothers and dads and his mothers and dads the reality and that i’m specific they’ll want what’s best for you. long distance relationships are lots harder than those devoid of distance. I too have been in an prolonged distance dating for the previous 300 and sixty 5 days; besides the shown fact that, till now that we've been jointly for 2 years and solidified our have faith and appreciate for the different and that’s what has gotten us with the aid of this final 300 and sixty 5 days. i understand he doesn’t cheat on me or flirt with different women persons. It’d be too worry-free to capture him because of the fact his thoughts teach in the time of. devoid of have faith, you have not something. you will desire to settle on what you may and might’t stay with and pass from there.

Answer 8

Just one question....

How do you know that you are going to marry him next year if he hasn't propose?

There is a difference between what it is and what you want. You are fantasizing about all of this without even a word out of his mouth about marriage.

You cannot force anyone into proposing. If you have been together for a while, then ask him yourself.

Good luck

Answer 9

i would give him an ultimatum. he should propose if he is serious. the first time i got flowers from mu hubby i pretty much had to drive him to the store, pick out flowers and pay for them myself! guys r thick! but they r trainable. they have to learn to be romantic, or u will spend ur whole life without romance

Answer 10

I agree with jenivive...you don't want to marry a lazy man who hides behind "not being romantic"...trust me, guys ARE romantic, it's just the lazy and/or cheap ones that claim they aren't