What do I do about my cluttered filthy house, I have no energy or willpower to start doing anything?

Question

Im a housewife, and a mother to a 5yr old daughter. The house were renting is small & cluttered. We have too much stuff for this little house.. We have a storage that we can hardly afford and its stuffed to the max. I have a kitchen but im using it as our 2nd storage. I know what your saying, "give,trash stuff" its not that easy.. all this stuff is "good" stuff.. whenever we move into our own real house, all this stuff will come in handy. Plus my daughter has TONS of toys.. and there everywhere, my hubby is a computer fixit guy and he has computer cords piling up in our closet.. so many cords, we cant hang any clothes.. and there not even neat cords either.. its one big tangled up mess and he wont let me throw away any of it!!! we dont have a table to eat at so we eat in the living room on the couch, our bedroom is extra small with an extra small closet it holds about 15 things to hang.. so clothes are all over everywhere . I just feel like im suffocating in all this stuff

Answer 1

What do you mean "whenever" you move to your real house....
There are so many housing options availabe today I would think it' time to stop "whenevering" and go house hunting. Also a five year old with too many toys? Not a good idea. You could free up some space by using those great plastic bins and cycle them back and forth. Teach her how to share with those less fortunate by giving to your church nursery, especially those items that are now too young for her...
If you don't do something your teaching your daughter how to horde for later in her life too..Too many toys is not good because it teaches her how to NOT make decisions. All your daughter's toy should be in her bedroom at the end of the day. When she's up she should have a "limit" as to what she can bring to the living room or other areas of the house. She'll be going to school soon, I suggest you start now with her clothing choices, put two outfits on the bed (after she makes her own bed) and tell her those are her choices. Allow her to make the choice and then put the other outfit away immediately. Children thrive in an environment with LIMITS and boundaries. Later as she grows she'll transfer those decisions making skills to the ones that can save her life. Like will she get in a car with anyone who's been drinking?; Will she walk away from those who would break the law or vandalize a property?
Spend a couple of days just re-inforcing a good schedule for your daughter and her room. Once it's clean spend time in there with her and you'll feel more like tackling another area.
Cleaniness has a way of LEADING to creativity in other areas of your life.
If the storage area that you're paying for is "stuffed" then you really do need to re-evaluate what you have. Try to picture the new house with the things you want in it and get rid of the other...OH, when you get the new place....make doubly sure your husband has a "work" room to store his computer "pieces" so that you don't go through the same thing. And I'm not talking about him taking over the garage, It's awful nice to park a car out of the snow..It doesn't sound like he's "wrapping" his head around much of the problem either. You are the keeper of the home, right? Your husband has told you, you can't throw any of it out. so put it in a BIN so you can do YOUR job in making your home LIVEABLE.
Because this has gone on for awhile and you're now feeling so overwhelmed. You do this one area at a time.
Start with what you control the most...the 5 yr old...do what was suggested there and don't do anymore for that day. Set up some ground rules and above ALL stick to it.
The next day separate all the cords, you don't have to understand what they are or how to catergorize them, bag 'em , roll 'em, put them in a bin and stack the bins. don't do anymore on this day.
Day 3, start hanging up the clothes. Anything you haven't worn in 6 mos goes to charity. Shoes included.
Day 4 make an area to stack the bins throw a cover over them and put vase of flowers on it and take a deep breath, now baby, your on a roll, so keep going...your going to feel like a new woman....really....Best wishes
I just had a last thought....Call a realtor (especially a woman)and make an appointment to start looking at houses. Going into an empty house will really give you a breath of fresh air. You really need to start looking and don't actually buy anything for 6months. This will give you time to start really "SEEING" what you are looking at when you see a new space. The layout of the house, where the sun comes in, the patio, the landscaping, the "inside" and "outside" storage areas. Especially look at what you like in a kitchen, does it have an island, a pantry, double ovens, a dishwasher. What is the age of the applicances, the carpeting on the floors. How many bathrooms do you want....Lots of stuff going on here.
Your welcome to email me with any additional questions you may have.

Answer 2

Without energy or willpower nothing will happen. I have been waiting 60 years for the Good Cleaning Fairy to appear and I haven't seen hide nor hair of her yet.
Then you tell me that all this is 'good stuff' just waiting for a house you haven't seen and don't own. Right now you can't even afford storage for it.
You and your husband can't even roll up your cords!
You ARE suffocating, thats why your house is such a mess, homes are reflections of ones mental state and yours is saying "I'm afraid if I throw this out I will never be able to afford to replace it so I must keep everything just in case"

I can't come to your home to clean up and truly, do you want to? I don't see that, I only see excuses.
When you get tired enough of the mess have a yard sale and put the money in the bank so you don't feel so threatened by the loss of your 'stuff' and don't buy anything for awhile, so you can save for your house, then buy very carefully, a pack rat has more than a need for stuff throughout her/his life its a disease more than a cleaning problem.

Answer 3

Have you thought about getting storage tubs or if you can't afford to get those, go to a grocery store and ask them for any boxes that they may be getting rid of. Then separate things into similar piles and store items that are not being used into the boxes, then with a magic marker, label the box as to the sort of items that are in the box. That way if you HAVE to use that item, you will know where it is. Then just stack the boxes on top of each other into a corner. Same thing for your husband's cord's that are taking up good closet space. Put them all into a box and label it "Computer cord's".

Store anything and everything that is not in use, that way it is already stored and ready for moving when you get your very own home. Better to see boxes stacked neatly in a room then to have things just piled up. And when you are ready to put things into the storage boxes, take a really good look to see if you "really" need the item or not. If you have any family members close by who will let you store the labeled boxes in their garage or spare room, or maybe you might have room to put them in your rental storage.

Also do the same with your daughter's toys too. Try doing it when she will be away, that way she won't give you problems while you are packing her toys into boxes. Then later when you take it out of the boxes for her, it will be like a new toy to play with all over again for her. I used to do the same for my 3 kids when they were small. Looking at toys all over the place can be very over whelming in itself, on top of other things piled around.

You might be surprised then to see that your energy might come back when things are even in a "little" order. Remember....box them in order and label the boxes.

Answer 4

You are not lazy, you are overwhelmed, my dear....You need to look at each room or even think smaller, one corner of a room, and focus on it for a day, then move to the next corner or next room until you've gone through the entire house. I think the more you get done, the more energy you'll have, but you'll have to get your husband on board too! I'd go to a dollar store and get some of those big plastic boxes. Put all your hubby's cords and computer junk in them and label the boxes..a lot of this stuff can be stashed outside under a porch or even under a tarp...cold, heat, and rain won't hurt it. Also, instead of giving your good stuff away, have a yard sale or take your stuff to a flea market and sell it....put the cash in a special savings account, and then when you move to your new house, use those funds to buy new good stuff...be creative, you were creative enough to ask us good people what to do! Good Luck!

Answer 5

It sounds like you are depressed. There is actually some connection between messiness/clutter and depression. You are not alone. I have the same problem, and am a member of the Messies Anonymous group as well as the club. These are online support groups with tips on how to de-clutter your house AND your life. The main idea is to take baby steps: little victories. Good luck, and join us Messies!

Answer 6

Here are some tips:

1. focus on one area at a time so you don't feel overwhelmed
2. get empty boxes and bags to start categorizing and throwing things away
3. give yourself a realistic schedule to work around, making room for meals and rest
4. get someone you trust to give you a hand
5. tie cables up with trash bag ties
6. make sure your daughter is kept busy or give her a chore to complete
7. consider selling some stuff you might not need, such as toys, in a garage sale
8. play music you like to keep you going

Answer 7

Hi. well I understand how you feel, I'm in the same spot, small place filled with stuff, I managed to get a friend to help me donate alot of stuff, best trick is to just be happy smile,and guide them to things that way you wont do too much work, and theyll enjoy your company, for me it was the winter blues, lazyness, and the cat i had i was allergic to that stuff could be making you allergic too, then theres craigslist if you put an ad on craigslist for bartering your stuff, or something your good at for cleaning services, other optiion those homemaker over shows, maybe you could submit a tape of your place in it's worst condiion for them to help, since it's summer i'm getting my energy more, and i got rid of the cat i was allergic to ..

Answer 8

buy your own house why rent i bought a house when i was 29 it has 5 bedrooms 3 baths 1 den a finished basement. a 3 car garage and an in ground pool and a large barn it only cost 40 thousand im 87 now this was awhile back good luck

Answer 9

id start looking for a bigger place you can afford to move into. it sounds a little crowded..kinda hard to live like that. can you rent a larger storage unit at least to get some of the clutter up? good luck.

Answer 10

If you are serious, get a friend to help.Their eye will be different than yours. They will not keep something broken, out of style, missing pieces, etc. BUT you have to be serious about it, and trust their decisions.