I share a flat with another student, a first year (I'm doing a second degree). She's a sweet kid but she never cleans the place. I've tried ignoring the mess and waiting for her to clean it, but she never does and I find myself cleaning it myself again. Our building has a cockroach problem, so we really can't leave unwashed dishes (and it's ugly: the place is open-plan and there's nowhere to hide the mess). But she leaves things for 2 or 3 days in the sink! And it's only me that ever washes the floors or vacuums the carpet.
Do I talk to her? How do I say it so I don't cause more tension than I'm avoiding? I still have to live with her for another 8 months. Or do I keep cleaning up myself, since it's me that's bothered by the mess? Or leave the dishes for her and set lots of cockroach traps? We've been in the place for 2 months now, and it's not driving me crazy but it is annoying.
2007-03-27 02:52:23 · 15 answers · asked by Marie Antoinette 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I can't move out, we have a joint lease til November. I think a rota or bargaining's probably the best plan. Thanks for all the advice! Very hard to choose which is best.
2007-03-27 23:21:19 · update #1
Hehe, not sure I want "services" from her - she's not THAT sweet!
2007-03-27 23:32:58 · update #2
you need to nip this in the bud. Set some house rules and STICK to them!
2007-03-27 02:56:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Set a rota so that you take it in turn to do the chores. If that don't work just leave it she'll have to wash up when there's no plates. Failing that cant you tell her to leave? I'm quite sure there are loads of other people who would be glad of a decent place to stay and who wont take the pyss like she's doing. Remember no matter how nice she is if she's a slob it's not working out is it, you've got better things to do than tidy up behind her all the time.
2007-03-27 03:02:43 · answer #2 · answered by Loxie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oi! I don't blame you for being frustrated.
I'd sit her down, tell her you enjoy living with her, and you know she's really busy BUT...you're also taking classes, and it's really hard for you to keep up with all the housework AND juggle your school schedule. Ask her what chores she minds doing the least, and let her do them (the idea here being that if she doesn't hate it, she'll do it). Set up a cleaning day, and clean together. Perhaps if you said, "Oh! It's Thursday! It's Chore Day!" and let her know you EXPECT her to help you clean, since she lives there too.
She sounds young. Is she used to being on her own? If not, she's probably used to someone ELSE picking up her slack. let her know in no uncertain terms (albiet kindly), that the world doesn't work that way, and you're not her maid. Good luck to you!
2007-03-27 03:06:37 · answer #3 · answered by sylvia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, breathe! i had the same problem. Except it forced my roomate to move out bc he couldnt get witht eh program. But now I have lovely roomates who are wonderful. In all honesty you need to call a meeting and lay out what your freeling. But dont attack her bc then she will get defensive and start bring ing up things. Try to wok out an agreement. Like " I know your busy... but this is whats bothering me..." For instance try to say if I wash the dishes unlimited, (this way there is no roach problem) then you have to mop the floors and clean thebathroom. Whatever. Just be clear and firm and state that after you reach an agreement on whos going to do what then thats it. No reminding her to do this and when because thats not your responsibility. If she is going to be a pig keep it confined to her room. Give her a chance to try and be cleaner. After 30 days if you see no improvement maybe discuss getting a new roomate. Bc its not fair for you to be cleaning up after two people and constantly remind ing her to do her share. Good luck!
2007-03-27 03:00:29 · answer #4 · answered by spadezgurl22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1) ask her to pitch in and remind her you are not the maid.
2) set up a chore chart and post it where she can see it .
AND IF ALL ELSE FAILS:
3)go buy a rubbermaid container with a lid and when she leaves crap all over throw it inside: dishes and all into the container (this way you dont have to worry about cockroaches getting into it) and you dont have to look at it then leave it in her room. if she doesnt get the hint then maybe you should find yourself a clean housemate.
2007-03-27 08:06:18 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since your the one with common sense, you NEED to TELL her, after a few days of her nastiness, that, this is the why there are bugs living here. Will you clean up your messes like I clean mine up. I cant even have friends over. Or tell her, she either cleans up, or moves out. You were not raised in a pig sty, and wont have it here.
2007-03-27 03:13:07 · answer #6 · answered by Moose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a load of sensitive people here, all so afraid of hurting the roomies feelings.
Nonsense, if she can't wash the dishes: Bin them.
As simple as that.
First, one warning: Don't wash = I bin.
Then: Follow up on your warning. Never 'repay' or anything. You've warned, and you've got cockroaches. Reason enough.
If they are your own plates: Wash them and put them in your room.
No washing = no dishes.
You'll be amazed how fast she figures it out!
2007-03-27 04:46:42 · answer #7 · answered by mgerben 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds an awful lot like being married! If you want it clean and your housemate doesn't care then you are going to have to clean it.
You can move or try to get her to move but otherwise you should try to accept that there are people who can ignore filth.
The best thing I can think of is to try to barter for something. You agree to do the cleaning and she provides some service to you.
2007-03-27 03:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by Ernie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Organise a rota. Explain that you've been doing more than your share so far, but that things are going to get tough and you won't have time to do everything. Tell her that if she's never been taught how to do these jobs,you're happy to show her how. If she's as sweet as you say, she'll want to pull her weight.
2007-03-27 02:58:22 · answer #9 · answered by Doethineb 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm tough deal
sounds like she could use a shower too
if talking to her doesn't work then go to your land lord and let him kick her out for trashing the place and bringing roaches in---icky!
2007-03-27 02:56:15 · answer #10 · answered by Bailey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her to clean up her mess or u are moving out
2007-03-27 02:55:34 · answer #11 · answered by ur mother 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋