Relationship Troubles?

Question

Im 16 and have been with my boyfriend for 20 months now, but i feel like we've grown apart. I'm not sure how i feel about him anymore and am too scared to break up with him because i'm scared of being alone. I know that if we broke up he wouldn't want to be my friend, this is a shame as we're so close and i don't want to loose our friendship.
We have so many plans, we're meant to be going on holiday together and concerts but i know he won't want to go as my friend.
I just don't feel in love with him anymore, everythigns got too much of a routine, everythigns the same, nothing is new, no surprises or anything and i think i want someone new and fresh.I love him as a friend, that is for sure.
He loves me so much and i know that it will hurt him so much if i break up with him.
What do i do? Do i break up with him? Do i talk to him about things? What would i say? Do i try to make it work or do i try putting him off me so he dumps me?!
Please help!

Answer 1

if u don't want to be with someone then tell them it might hurt him but it will be better for u 2 in the long run. I know how u feel b/c i've been there before. u just have to get the guts up to tell him and hope that u 2 can be friends. but when u do break up with him. don't move on to the next guy just yet. stay single for awhile and get all of the feelings u have for him out. b/c if u run and get involved in another relationship as soon as u 2 break up then most likely it want work b/c u will still have feelings for the other guy and will start treating him like ur ex. thats not good. also i use be scared to be along so i held on to this guy i had been dating for over 4 yrs and things got so bad that we both ended up cheating. I was 18 then now i'm 20 and love being alone. But talk to him 1st ok. then make a decision together whether or not u want to break up. good luck

Answer 2

That's quite a young age to have such a long lasting relationship. It's best to talk to him about how you're feeling because you don't really know what he's thinking either. Are you sure that he will not be your friend if you guys break up? I don't see why he would cut you off completely, especially if you say he loves you that much.. i know if i loved someone that much i wouldn't let them go and never talk to them again. If you're completely sure you don't want to be with him anymore then by all means break up with him, but try do it in the nicest way possible.. don't try to make it work if your hearts not in it. It's only going to hurt him in the long run. And never try the "putting off the other" person method because honestly, that can just go terribly wrong and they will think you're a cold hearted b*tch that changed and that's not really what it is.. all the best xOx

Answer 3

If you don't love him then why stay in the relationship. Talk to him and be open about your feelings. He may surprise you and want to continue just as friends and if he doesn't then so be it. You are young and you can always find other friends. I know that you don't want to hurt him and love him as a friend but if you are not open with him about your feelings now you will only be hurting him more down the road. It would not work out anyway to continue a relationship if the feelings are not there. You would only end up resenting him for missing out on finding that one special one by sticking to this relationship. You are young and you should not be in a situation like that. Move on and enjoy your teen years.

Answer 4

I understand the way you feel. Twenty months is a long time considering your only 16 and have experienced alot already. I think you need some space for yourself to grow and develop. Theres so much more out there and you shouldn't be stress out over this. Be honest and true with yourself and with him. It's not always easy and its not always guarantee that you will remain friends after a breakup but that shouldn't be a reason to keep you in a relationship neither. There's also nothing wrong with being Alone.....Actually, it helps alot....
Best of Luck******

Answer 5

The person i dated when i was 15/16 is not the person id date today, as we grow older, our tastes change, our views change, so dont feel too bad, you are young, thats what teenagers do, you have just grown up and grown out of the relationship......dont stay because you are afraid to be alone, hopefully you kept your friends around you over the past 20 mths, you can have fun with the girls.

Answer 6

Just stand up and tell him that the relationship is going no where. You don't need to be over specific on the why's, etc. But to string him along is more cruel than breaking it off with him. And you are just 16, you won't be alone very long. Teens never are.

Answer 7

Your reasons for staying with him, when you don't even love him, are very selfish..."I don't want to be alone."

That is wrong. Just break up with him. How would you feel if you were in love with someone and that person was just stringing you along? You are wasting both his time and yours. You guys could both be with people who really care about you/who you love, instead you do not even want him.

Answer 8

why don't you be the one who does the surprising? be creative, and surprise HIM instead of waiting for him to do it, maybe he is out of ideas...sometimes, a relationship becomes comfortable, and the "honeymoon" period, is over..but not the relationship..i say, try it different, and if it doesn't work, talk to him about it, before breaking up with him..

Answer 9

just talk to him about it... TELL HIM it feels too routine..... and you don't have to be "in love"... that's why there are so many divorces these days... cuz people marry people they are "in love" with... being "in love" is not the same as true love. true love lasts forever... being "in love" lasts until the sparks are gone........ which happens faster than you think

Answer 10

Being honest can be painful.But to honor him by telling him the truth is the right thing to do.