I was lead on and played. I want to let him know how I feel. Does anyone have any ideas on what to say?

Question

We had a good connection and dated for a couple of weeks. I now realize that I was led on and played. At 30 and with experience, I am the type who likes to tell people how I feel, good or bad. I want to tell him that he gives good guys a bad name and that I'm disappointed that he left me hanging.
What do you think? Any men have ideas on what would effect them?
What have you girls said before? I don't want to be a ***** or let him know how hurt I was, just let him know that I'm disappointed and had hoped he would've just been honest.

Answer 1

First, I must say that for you to go ahead and tell him off is lowering yourself to his level and giving him his "ego stroke". Why would you want to boost his ego and pride???!!!! Just keep your mouth shut and stay 'mature' about it. He'll get his, as we all know that what goes around comes around.

Answer 2

If some dumb *** male feels the need to treat women like absolutely...err...poo why give him the chance to know he hurt you. It was probably he agenda to do it anyway. Guys like that don't chance. Telling him how you feel won't matter at the end of the day. He probably won't really care.

Guys can be heartless, cruel bastards. It's a fact of life unfortunately. Women can be just as cruel, which is besides the point. Bad people exist, and unfortunately. Most of the time, nothing we can say can change that.

I'd say just...let it go. You're a woman of 30, as you said, You have life experience. You should know you can get over this without involving such a jerk off. You don't need users or players in your life.

You -can- get over this. Because if he used you enough. He didn't care about you. And if he doesn't care about you. Why should you show him any favours and care about him.

Good luck. You'll be fine. I'm sure.

Answer 3

You seem to still be looking for closure. If this guy is a player and the jerk you describe, he will only interpret anything you say as "she still wants me." Deal with your disappointment in some other productive way. Go buy some new shoes, girl. Don't give him the satisfaction of even thinking, for a minute, that you're still trying to figure him out. Pin your hopes to a new dream, not on the tail of a relationship gone south. You only dated for a couple of weeks, right? At 30, you're a smart girl, and he isn't worth the time or effort. Don't give him the smug satisfaction of even the time of day.

Answer 4

From experience I've learned that whatever you say to him will give him satisfaction. IF you can, just ignore him and what he did and don't say another word to him, no email, no phone call, no text, no IM, nothing. This is EXTREMELY hard for me to do as I too am a very direct and vocal person. It's almost like asking me to murder myself - but if you can manage to internalize the pain, talk to your friends, cry in your bedroom, scream all you want to say to him into your pillow, you'll leave him wondering WTF? He'll wonder if you ever cared for him, if you were just playing HIM. He may or may not say something to you, eventually after some weeks of no contact, but trust me you will rob him of the satisfaction of knowing he played you, that he hurt you or upset your world even the tiniest bit. The catch-phrase of "never let em see you sweat" is so true. IF you can pull it off, you'd be my hero and you'll do yourself a great service. He's really not worth anything you could possibly say to him anyway. Good luck and sorry that happened.

Answer 5

J Girl-

Here is the thing. From what you described, he's not gonna care about how you feel at this point.

Let me say that again. He is not gonna care about your opinion of what he did to you.

The best thing you can do for yourself is realize the mistake, learn from it by being aware of the warning signs of this potentially happening again.

You aren't alone. All of us, at some point was mislead or deceived, or played. But be a class act. Hold your head up high, and never, ever let a man see you sweat. Think of how sweet it would be for him, to see his "play act" come full circle? He doesn't deserve for you to utter another word in his direction.

When you see him, you should do the opposite. Say hello with a smile and keep it moving.

As my grandmother used to say, "No matter what...you've got to STRUT"!!

Good Luck! You'll be fine.

Answer 6

There's almost no way of telling him that and not letting him know that you were hurt. Sorry, you just wouldn't say anything if you weren't hurt so he will know no matter what you say. Personally i think this would be a decent resolution. Just go right up to him and say, 'Hello, i'd like an apology. An apology for your dishonesty. and blah blah whever u want him to apologize for.' He'll be like what the hell? Then you can say something like, 'ya know, i was never really 'that' interested in you but stand up and be a real man and tell me what you're doing, I don't have forever to wait and thank you for wasting my time. Have a great life.' That's what i'd do! =)

Answer 7

I say that it is his loss and that you are the better person for knowing the difference between right and wrong. In my past experiences the people that hurt others that way, it really is not going to make a effect on them if you say some thing or not. You are best to just move on and find some one that makes you happy.

Answer 8

I think the person you should confront is yourself. A person only does what you allow them to do. You allowed yourself to be played or led on because there had to be signs before this letting you know this guy wasn't real. I wouldn't even bother, honestly. It's his lost and you are probably better off not having someone like this creep in your life.

Answer 9

Just be honest & think of what you'd like to say ... the time I got hurt I just told him that I didn't expect that from him because I believed he was a good guy, also, that I knew that he really didn't mean to make me feel bad ... he was shocked by my reaction and shortly apologized ... not only that, he continued asking me out ... never answered his calls again ... payback time.

Answer 10

i've learned that the best thing to do is not to say anything. when u call them going off it only gives them the satisfaction that they have won. take it as a lesson learned and dont give him the pleasure of hearing u all upset and knowing that he has turned ur world upside down (for the mean time). write it all out for ur own personal therapy and tear it up when ur finish.

Answer 11

Ask yourself, how did you allow him to do this to you? were there red flags going up that you chose not to see? Then, just tell him, that you feel that you were played, and no longer wish to continue the relationship..then move on.