Ok im 22 ive been with my bf 10 months we are very happy and i love him loads. Thing is ive know this other lad paul for 7 years and we have been very good friends. Thing is before i got with my bf me and paul kissed and done some other things too!
He text me yesterday saing he cant stop thinking about me, but the truth is i cant stop thinking about him. Im so confused and dont know what to do coz im happy with my bf but curious what could happen with paul. (ive never cheated on my bf)
Any advice?
Much appreciated thanks xx
2007-03-27 02:06:23 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ok listen, you have been with your boyfriend ten months and you love him. You have known your friend for seven years and nothing has ever happened. Don't throw a good thing with your boyfriend away! Stay with him. What you feel for your friend is only a crush!! I also had that problem. I was going out with my boyfriend (which is now my husband for five years) and I felt something else for another guy to. I ignored the feeling although it was hard, and it payed off, because like I said I am married now
2007-03-27 02:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by Cathy C 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
To be honest, you cant be as happy and as in love with your boyfriend as you say you are because other wise you wouldn't be having such feelings for Paul. Even though you have never physically cheated on him, you know that if he found out how you felt or what you were thinking, your boyfriend would be very hurt. Also, you've known this Paul for 7 years and ago you kissed once. Then 10 months down the line he sends you a text saying he can't stop thinking about you? You have to question he morals of a man who would say that to a girl who is already in a relationship. Also, you have to question your own feelings. Is it just a case of wanting what you can't have? If you were really serious about Paul, why did you get together with your boyfriend? He was obviously the better option at the time so whats changed? Also, Paul had 7 years to tell you how he felt and instead waits 10 months after you've kissed when you have a boyfriend to tell you. To use an over used saying, the grass isn't always greener on the other side and it sounds like you're in a good relationship - is it worth sacrificing? Having said that though, maybe you need time alone from both men to work out how you feel.
2007-03-27 10:20:10 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
BRUTE honesty,
If i am reading this correctly you and Paul have been intimate prior to your current boyfriend of 10 months, if that is true then that means that for some reason you two stop being intimate, only you know the reason the two of you crossed the line then stepped away from it. The other thing I can tell you that there is nothing more exciting or tempting than something you can't have (i.e. paul). The Kicker here is that you are still finding yourself and learning. Paul maybe a good guy but is he ready for commitment and more importantly are you ready for commitment I would have to assume you are ready for commitment because you said you have a boyfriend and not just a close friend. So your 1st option is to find out what paul wants from you (sex, relationship, friends with benefits, etc) if he tells you want you believe then go with Paul. Explain to him that you need his complete honesty and you will respect him either way and continue to be friends but if he say he doesn't want what you want then don't cross the line every again. Second option tell existing boyfriend that you need some time to sort out some issues in your life regarding your past. How deep in detail you go is up to you but during this time you should not be intimate with either of them or spending time with either. This will give your heart and mind time to communicate and make a decision. Wish you the best of luck
2007-03-27 09:27:45 · answer #3 · answered by Big Boy O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is decision time.
If after 10 months you have serious thoughts about Paul you must tell your bf of 10 months that it is over but you must be absolutely certain.
Why did you break with Paul in the first place, what has he done since
On the other hand Paul might be jealous of the 10 month strong bf & he might not in the end be faithful.
The most important thing is for you to choose carefully & come to your right decision.
Whatever happens you must be faithful to the one you choose & they must be faithful & honest to you.
This is the rest of your lives that we are talking about here.
This is a dilema for you but I know that you will make the right choice
Good luck & best wishes
2007-03-27 09:17:08 · answer #4 · answered by ANDREW H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Interesting! Do you notice that you have known Paul for 7 years and neither of you felt the need to commit to a defined monogamy relationship? You kissed a couple of times and perhaps more as but as what... Even then, you two did not hook up. Is it possible that Paul wants you now because you belong with another?
2007-03-27 09:55:34 · answer #5 · answered by gutsa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just need to make a choice, on one hand you have someone your very into on the other someone curious about. now do you want to risk a sure thing for a curious feeling?
what if you hook up with this other person and its not as good as what you had with the other? do you think he would forgive you? Personally i would just stay right where i am if i was happy and if things didn't work out then i would see about the other.
2007-03-27 11:27:51 · answer #6 · answered by sweetinjection 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont cheat....grass is always greener, paul had his chance before you got with you current boyf, if things where going to happen then, they would have, if you are happy now, why risk a fling, if you and your current boyf split in the future, then you can see what happens with paul, I think you would regret a fling, paul just wants off limit goods, tell him you are really happy and content now, so leave it at that, dont give him any indication that things may happen if you and your boyf split, keep that to yourself, we dont always have to follow our urges.
2007-03-27 09:15:45 · answer #7 · answered by natc 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm Tough one; I really dont know because whatever you do someone is going to get hurt. Your gonna have to think about it long and hard. Is this paul enough to waste the 10 months you've shared with your man? You really have to think it through but whatever you do be honest with them, dont see them both, its not fair and they deserve to know the truth.
2007-03-27 09:11:32 · answer #8 · answered by Black Magic; 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This seems like just a temptation, to see if You are trustworthy . Prove to yourself you are, be mature and be faithful to your boyfriend. Really show maturity and stop all inappropriate conversation with the other guy.
2007-03-27 09:24:52 · answer #9 · answered by st 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
curiosity killed the cat! you're not physically cheating but you know these texts would hurt your boyfriend if he found out.
if you're not ready to commit to your boyfriend, then end the relationship. Throughout your life you'll fancy other people and they'll fancy you - if you're going to be this tempted, you're not with the right person.
2007-03-27 09:12:38 · answer #10 · answered by G*I*M*P 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋