How do you single moms handle a situation like this??

Question

My 6 year old god son is very sick. I'm not sure if has some sort of virus or what but he has been very weak for the past 2 days and threw up yesterday. He has no appetite and his mother had to force him to drink water because he was becoming very dehydrated.
His mother is unable to stay home with him because she has to work. She is a single mom and has no contact with his father. All of her relatives have to work and were unable to keep him. She was forced to send her son off to school in this condition because she is a single mom and is pregnant with her second child and cannot afford to miss a day at work.
I wish I would have had the day off because I would have kept him myself.
My question is, did she handle this right? Should she have sent him to school or called in and stayed home with him. I do not judge her actions because I am not in her shoes and do not know her situation. I am just curious as to how other single moms would have handled this.

Answer 1

I know as a single parent, you have to do what you have to do to make it. But in this case, I don't know. She's exposing all the other kids to his illness, not to mention, if he is that dehydrated he should have been in the doctor's office instead. Maybe mention to her to start looking for some other way to have him taken care of outside of school when he is sick. She's lucky he wasn't sent home from school. I know it's hard, but there had to be another way too. Hope he is feeling better!! :-)

Answer 2

I'm not a single mom, so my answer might not be what they would do. However, if my son was that sick, I would have managed to stay at home with him and take him to the doctor's office. When I send him to school while he is sick, I am taking the chance that he will pick up some one else's medical condition and add it to his own problems. Then he could be really in trouble. Most employers will allow mothers to take a day off when there is family illness. A lot of employers provide sick leave for this purpose.

Neighbors usually will pitch in an help take care of a sick child when the mother absolutely has to work and cannot take the day off.

Also, the school will probably send the child home when he is sick ... they don't need, or want, to have infections running through the school.

Answer 3

I have also been in the same situation. I did stay home but there were times where I knew my daughter was sick and sent her anyway. I had a boss that tried to tell us that we could not use our sick days for our childrens illnesses. (she can't do that) She was a single mom too but she lived in a neighborhood that was very close so there was always someone to watch the kids. We are not all that lucky. It's a hard call to make. Plus you don't want to get everyone else in your family getting sick for doing you a favor. When I was 8 I had the chicken pox really bad it lasted for 2 weeks and I had to stay home by myself because there is no way that my mom could take off work for two weeks (single mom also). She would come to check on me every few hours but that was 20+ yrs ago. I would recommend that your friend not go into work if this happens again. There is nothing more important that our children. She could take him to the Dr and get a note if her boss is a pain like mine was. I do understand the fact that if she doesnt go to work she doesnt get paid but things usually work themselves out and kids are only sick every once i a while. You seem like a good friend. Just offer her your support she needs it more than you know. I had no idea it would be so tough being a single mom. My mom always made it look so easy.

Answer 4

No judgment at all, I am also a single mother and have been since she was practically born. I know it is very hard to be the only one for the children, but that's exactly what you are,"the only one". You must understand that as soon as the child is well again the better the situation will be. Taking a kid to the doctor is not a whole day thing, its about an hour and a half at the most. Take the child or stay home with the child, I'm sure her job can understand that she has no one else she can really depend on but her herself. Good Luck

Answer 5

The school is supposed to send the children home if they are ill. Because having an ill child there just spreads the germs. Especially in children of that age. This will also make him more tired and make it last longer. He needs to see a dr. Most medicines you start to feel better after 24 hours.

I know its really hard when the kids get sick. But she will have to get a better system after all she is expecting another baby and this problem will only get worse. She needs to find someone that can keep him on days he is sick.

I'm not judging her, I know its hard, I myself always put the kids first. My 15 yr. old broke his ankle, had to have surgery and I have stayed home with him for 2 weeks now. Sometimes you just have to take a day or two off. She could always pick up a little over time once he was better to make up for it if its a money issue. She could even get some help with a few bills Through churches, red cross, and several other charities. If its needed.

Answer 6

My single mom days only lasted about a year and then I met a really great man, but I did experience similar situations. I would have stayed home, and dealt with the loss of...fifty bucks,?, but I was also really lucky and had great family support and an understanding boss. I know here in Spokane, WA there is a place called Cuddles and Care, where parents can send ther sick children for the day. It's run by nurses and is connected with a hospital here, parents pay two bucks an hour and in return their child doesn't have to go to school or daycare...and the parent can still go to work. It might be worth it to call around and check out similar programs wherever you are, and look in to other help your friend will qualify for. Being a single mom is tough, I think it's great that you're not judging her. Just help whenever you can.

Answer 7

Single mom of 4 here--
I would have attempted to switch my schedule to not loose the hours, but I would have called off-- One shouldn't send a vomiting, feverish, or diarreah having child to school. She should make friends with an older retired person who can assist in these type of situations......... Old people need company and sick kids don't run & jump around too much. Or perhaps have a stay at home mom-- who can allow her little one to rest on the sofa for the day....
Being a single mom is very difficult-- and we need lots of encouragement/support from our family & friends.... Try not to be too judgemental of her..... I'm sure she's doing her best. And if there was a problem at the school the school should be able to contact her at work-- hopefully her employer would allow her to leave in such a case.

Another thing to consider is: is a parent bad because they don't coddle a little one who falls down.... or are they better because their child learns more quickly to get up and move on.
Sometimes I feel that my kids are stronger than other kids--

Answer 8

It is never easy but yes, if the child was weak and was throwing up, yes she should have called in to work. There are laws to protect her job and if her attendance record is clean otherwise, I don't see why the employer would give her a hard time. Also, if she sent him to school in this condition, I am curious why the school did not call for her to come and get him. I suggest that she find a neighbor or someone she can go to in these situations. There are many stay at home moms, elderly women, etc. that may be able to help her.

Answer 9

I would of called work and explained the situation, taken the day off and took him to the doctor. I understand not being able to afford missing work. I have been in her shoes....but I am sure her employer would of understood and perhaps allowed her to work a little extra each day to make up the hours she missed. By sending him to school sick, he will pass the germ on to the other kids and become sicker, maybe to the point of being admitted to the hospital. Then she would miss alot more then one day of work.
I am no longer a single mom, but was one for many years.

Answer 10

I'm a single mother and it's hard for me to take a day off too, but in no way would I send my son to school that sick. If he's vomiting he doesn't need to be at school. Poor thing. If she can't afford to take a day off why the hell is she pregnant?? Doesn't she realize where they're coming from??

My son is 16 and I would leave him home by himself while I go to work and check on him now and then. But a 6-year-old??? No way!!!

Answer 11

i too am a single mother to 2 young children how also needs to work everyday to be able to support them,but if one of them was ever ill for whatever reason i will take a day off and look after them even if it means being a Little short in my wage,she could of took the day off and got him into the doctors that day and got him some medicine he could of been feeling much better by the next day and she would be able to return back to work,don't get me wrong I'm not judging her cos we all find ourselves in different situations,but he does sound quite ill and from when my boys are ill all they want is there mummy when they are ill,hope this helps