Has anyone got any funny txt jokes please?
2007-03-27 01:16:23 · 10 answers · asked by ♥ 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A little girl goes 2 the barbers with her dad & stands next 2 the chair eating a cake while her dad gets his haircut. Barber smiles at her and says " youre gonna get hair on your muffin". " i know she says, im gonna get boobs too you dirty old perv"
2007-03-27 02:30:04 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild s*x, they fell
asleep, awakening around 8:00 pm. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home.
"Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house.
"Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having s*x all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock."
The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying b*stard! You've been playing golf!".
2007-03-27 12:56:07 · answer #2 · answered by awana 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Johnny's teacher draws a picture of a penis on the board "can anyone tell me what this is ?" "yes my dads got 2 of them a small one 4 weeing through and a big one 4 cleaning the babysitters teeth
2007-03-27 08:59:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Those arent text jokes. The object is to READ the joke.
eg.
There are 10 types of people in the world:
Those who understand binary, and those who don't!
2007-03-27 13:45:55 · answer #4 · answered by A Teesside Smart**** 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A boy went up to his dad and said what does basically and theoretically mean.
well son ask your mum and sister to sleep with the next door neighbours for a million pound each,
the son went to the mum and sister and ask then and they said yes.
the son went back to the dad and told him the answer,
well son there is your answer basically we are 2 million pounds richer theoretically your mum and sister are slags.
2007-03-27 08:31:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the oher side.
2007-03-27 08:36:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does
it cost
to get married?"
The father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still
paying."
2007-03-27 08:28:24 · answer #7 · answered by Karthik j 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy is walking along when suddenly he got his foot caught stuck in some railroad tracks. He tried to get it out but it was really stuck in there well.
He heard a noise and turned around to see a train coming. He panicked and started to pray, "God, please get my foot out of these tracks and I'll stop drinking!"
Nothing happened, it was still stuck, and the train was getting closer!
He prayed again, "God, please get my foot out and I'll stop drinking AND cussing!"
Still nothing ..... and the train was just seconds away!
He tried it one more time, "God please, if you get my foot out of the tracks, I'll quit drinking, cussing, smoking and having sex with all the women I meet."
Suddenly his foot shot out of the tracks and he was able to dive out of the way, just as the train passed!
He got up, dusted himself off, looked toward Heaven and said, "Thanks anyway God, I got it myself."
2007-03-27 08:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by F D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i was in tesco's in the bread isle and i thought i saw something about you, after i looked closer i saw it said 'thick cut'
2007-03-27 08:28:43 · answer #9 · answered by rykkers 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are hilarious.
keep them coming!!!
2007-03-27 13:10:56 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋