She puts on an act??

Question

Whenever my girlfriend is with her brother and his friends she puts on an act, and doesn't act like herself at all, she acts like a whole different person just to fit in with them, I've talked to her before and she's even admitted it herself. She even acts differently around me when they are around, I dont really like it and when I've brought it up she tells me she cant act the same way she acts around me when we are alone, I dont understand why she wants to be accepted by them when she's said all the time she hates her brother's friends when they are not around. I dont remember the last time she's called me and said she's really wanted me over there, but that is most likely because they are over there too.. he brings his loser friends over and has them sleep at their house for days. Im going down there to give her some money today, but Im not sure if I want to stick around and sit with her brother's friends all night until it is bed time and we go upstairs. How should I deal?

I dont want to break up with her, she tells me the reason she does it is, when she acts like herself they hate her and her brother doesnt want to spend time with her because of his friends not liking her

I've been with her for years, and she only just started acting this way, it is because she has no friends.. I want her to be able to act like herself

she says to her brother and her mother and me all at the same time I hate your friends Brandon, so in the end I think its just her brother's affection shes trying to earn

Answer 1

I've experienced something like this and it is definitely maddening.

It is nothing but a demonstration of her insecurity; she is lying when she says she hates her brother's friends. It's obvious she cares way too much about what they think of her and way too little about respecting you and your relationship. She needs to re-think her priorities.

Tell her again that it bothers you, and until she can respect you, you have no interest in being around when they're there. Period.

Answer 2

Obviously she does like being with her brothers friends. It sounds like being with them more than you. You said you were taking her money, why? Do you always give her money? Sorry if this is so then I hate to say it but she is using you. Go find someone that will truly want to be with you and one that does act differently towards you just because there are other people around.

Answer 3

Why go down there to give her money? How do you know what the act is? Maybe "that" is the real person and she's showing you the "act". If she wants money tell her to get a job.

Answer 4

I wouldn't deal with her. She shouldn't change herself for anyone. She's embarrassed of you. I wouldn't be surprised if she's changed herself when she's around you too. You need a girl who's comfortable with herself and you around anyone. Tell her to act like herself or you're outta there! I hope this helps, Good luck!

nicole

Answer 5

You should tell her whats up and tell her to act if. even if you thinks that she cant. If your just going to give her money and not spend time with her you should think about that one, why not have her spend time with you instead of you going there? It sounds like she has that need for attention in order to change her personallity to fit in with people that she doesnt like. This is something that your going to have to help her change becuase its something that shes not going to do without help.

Answer 6

keep your money in your pocket.. seems like she likes to hang with her brothers friends more then she says does... do you know what happens when your not there and her brothers friends are there?

Answer 7

get over her
some folks do that
its childish and immature
she needs to grow up
tell her how you feel about her attitude and if she continues
give her the boots.