Guys Only : What did I do wrong?

Question

I work at an office by day and run a hot spot night club by night,have a very active social life as well as having a boyfriend who I've been with for 9 months.He's had an issue with how little he gets to see me,ever since he made me manager of the club he owns 3 months ago and lately he's been complaining a lot that I never make time for us and that everything comes before him.Last Friday him and his best friend were in a car accident leaving him with a broken arm and a concussion.His friend wasn't so lucky and got quite a few broken bones but he's expected to make a full recovery.My boyfriend tried calling me once they got to the hospital but I was out partying and didn't get his voice mail until 18 hours later.Now he's dumped me saying he's had enough of taking last place on my list of priorities.Isn't he overreactng?My phone was set to vibrate and I couldn't have known he'd call.

Answer 1

Ok, well, I'm noticing that several people don't seem to grasp the concept of "Guys Only". But, everyone's right on this one.

Frankly, if after nine months you're out partying without him and take 18 hours to notice a voicemail...obviously you're not ready for the kind of serious relationship this guy is looking for. You need to find a party boy who won't care quite so much where you are or what you're doing. Of course, someone like this will likely be less into you in return and not offer you a job as one of the perks of being his girlfriend. Well, unless he's a pimp.

Or, consider just enjoying the single life until you're done livin' la vida loca and are ready to settle down a bit.

Answer 2

You didn't notice that he was missing for 18 hours later?! that's almost a day and he's your boyfriend and you work with him?! He brought you in to be close to him and that's not what he got. He's upset that you are still independent even though he is your boss.
He had an emergency last Friday and you were the person he counted on for help and you weren't there. You got his voice mail and didn't even respond to it until the next day. He has complained about you not being there, but when the true test occurred, you weren't there for him. That was major relationship brownie points and you partied them away. You aren't evil, but your focus isn't on him or the relationship. Not now anyway. He's foolish for expecting you to be into him and not seeing who you are and you don't seem ready to give him the attention that he wants. One or both of you may change at some later point, but if not, then move on and find partners who are mutually dependent and independent.

Answer 3

Sweetie,i know you asked for guys,however i am going to give you a females perspective on this situation.It is clear what you did,and you should be able to see that.Previous to this accident he had made it clear that he didnt feel you had enough time for your relationship.Then,not only were you not there when he needed you,but instead of spending time with him,after him stating that he didnt feel you were putting enough time into your relationship,but you were out partying.Your boyfriend should come before partying,especially if your busy most of the time.Partying isnt that important,but your boyfriend should have came before you partying.If you do in fact get back together,or find another boyfriend,spend less time out "partying" and more time with them,especially if you have a busy schedule.Good luck hun,and have a good day!

Answer 4

it's when you loose someone that you realize how much you love them. and how much sacrife you will do to change for them... the problem is sometimes, it's too late...

He is being open and vocal that he there is a problem but there is a solution. He wants attention and communication. He wants to be on your top 3 list (if not 1st). 18 hours is too much. Even though your phone is on vibrate mode, you should've called him to say good nite or to check on him. He had enough, I wouldn't blame him for it.

The good thing is sometimes there is a second chance. At this time, he recovered from a tragic accident. It's a sign for a second chance. Go for it. Fight for you love!

Answer 5

Its hard to sympathize with someone who puts partying as a higher priority. Yea i understand your phone was on vibrate but in the 18 hours did you even wonder where your bf was? I mean if you really love this guy you are at some point going to miss him. Unless, you don't really love him and your just with him for the sake of being with him.

Answer 6

I think it was just a matter of the guy feeling left out. As in any relationship i think you need to work had at it and not take things for granted. Looking only from your side and not knowing his actions the following questions come to mind:

did you include him in your social life?
did you also sometimes spent time with him alone, without any outside forces?
what was his thing?

The list can be much longer, but I think that you not responding to his call was the final straw.

Ask him why he thought he was low on your priority list and maybe in general evaluate your life style!

Answer 7

well as many people say, i really don't think he was mad about you missing the phone call but the fact that you was out partying is what bothered him. if you really cared about him i don't think you should have had your phone on vibrate ( almost sounds like an excuse not to accept his phone call ). but as far as having a social life to be with your friends and to be with him, you should have a set a schedule with him or worked something out that way you can have equal time to do what you want and to be with him. the fact that you pretty much threw him off is wat got him to break up with you and honestly i think he made the right choice. but it doesn't necessarily mean you can't get him back. if you really care about him, go and try your best to win him back.

Answer 8

you missing the call isnt the problem - it was just the last straw.
He has made it clear that you arent spending enough time with him and it has been hurting him. It seems like you have done nothing about it, or not enough.
relationships are a two way street - I dont blame him for dumping you.
.

Answer 9

i wouldnt say its incorrect yet id efficient say its irresponsible and youre in opt for of morals. are you waiting to manage the consequences if the condom breaks or the pill fails? it sounds like youre both omit loosy goosy or you "fall" for each person youre with. keep in mind that at your age men will allow you to understand virtually some thing to get on your pants, and not enable all of us stress you into some thing youre no longer comfortable with. sometime once you do get married its as a lot as you to be truthful with him and tell him what number companions youve had. with any luck youll discover someone keen to forgive your previous. im no longer attempting to be propose or some thing, im only telling how i see it ? -edit- properly im satisfied your first time became with someone who ment some thing to you besides the indisputable fact that the way you're coping with your very last damage-up is unfavorable to your self and others. youve admitted you understand precisely what youre doing once you sleep with those men. i imagine subconciously youre searching for male convenience/help and also you sense that you come across it in sex because youre afraid of what could take position in case you depended on your thoughts to a unique guy. decelerate and reevaluate some issues. ive were given alot to assert because ive been by similar. please dont hesitate to discover me on Y! messenger. its: vanillaroyale7

Answer 10

damn 18 hours...as soon as i found out my man had gotten into a car accident i asked him if he wanted me to go to the hospital, and i was at work, so yea...if you love him you'd put a little more effort into the relationship and not partying...