I feel stressed out and I want to laugh.
2007-03-26 23:47:46 · 8 answers · asked by Boostergold 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Q: Why did Tigger stick his head down the toilet?
A: He was looking for Pooh!
Q: How do you embarrass an archeologist?
A: Give him a tampon and ask him which period it came from.
Q: What is the difference between broccoli and snot?
A: You can't make kids eat broccoli.
Q: A blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who landed in the water first?
A: The brunette. The blonde had to stop and ask for directions.
Q. Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A. Because, even back then men wouldn't stop to ask for directions.
Q. What's the definition of a teenager?
A. God's punishment for enjoying sex.
Q. How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
A. If the girl has to chew, before she swallows. (GROSS!)
Q: What is it when a man talks nasty to a woman?
A: Sexual harassment.
Q:What is it when a woman talks nasty to a man?
A: $3.99 a minute.
Q: What's the difference between a white owl and a black owl?
A: A white owl goes WHO WHO WHO
A black owl goes WHODAT WHODAT WHODAT
Q: If it's God's responsibility to forgive Bin Laden, what is our responsibility?
A: To arrange the meeting.
Q: What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A: "How do you breathe through that thing?"
Q: Why should you treat your kids well?
A: They will pick out your nursing home someday!
2007-03-26 23:58:51 · answer #1 · answered by Nothing_tolose 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
An old man is sitting on a bench at the mall when a young punk sits down next to him. The kid has a spiky mohawk and each spike is dyed a different color. The old man can't take his eyes off of him. After a few minutes of starring, the annoyed teenager says "What's the matter old man, you never did anything wild when you were young?" to which the old man replied, "I got drunk once and had sex with a peacock, I thought you might be my son."
2007-03-26 23:54:19 · answer #2 · answered by djstickylee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Man goes to see the doctor and say's I have a problem after i masterbaye....
I start to sing you will never walk alone.
Doc says's.....don't worry, lots of w@nkers sing that.
Boom Boom !
2007-03-26 23:54:13 · answer #3 · answered by Rob The Red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
MAN: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains
DOCTOR: pull yourself together man
2007-03-27 00:04:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here you go:
A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."
Kinda funny, huh?
2007-03-26 23:51:29 · answer #5 · answered by omnisource 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A woman with a speech defect walks into the butcher shop and ask for a pond of 'kidleys'.
The butcher said, 'You mean kidneys'
She said, 'I said so diddle I'. . .?
2007-03-26 23:58:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
knock-knock
who's there?
the interrupting cow
the inter -- MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
2007-03-26 23:51:33 · answer #7 · answered by BOOM 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the joke's on you
2007-03-26 23:59:39 · answer #8 · answered by booge 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋