4 years ago my 1/2 sister came in contact w/ my dad. her & i r about a yr apart in age (shes 27, im 26), at 1st we got along really well... now i cant stand her. everything is all about her, she wants all the attn. i never had to beg for attn...don't think that i should now...he tries to be equal, but she acts like she needs more. she does really stupid things, like hooking up with a convicted child porn felon, & then puts me down for decisions i make. shes always starting fights with me & treating me like dirt. when she was 215#s she was nicer. shes now 130#s thru vomiting & shes always making me feel crappy for being fat. she says things like your not fat but she says it in a fake way. i feel like shes trying to feel better about herself by making me miserable. ive been fat my whole life (255#s now) & she only got fat after having kids...she doesnt understand what kind of teasing ive been thru but says shes been thru it 2 (@120#s, sure)...how do i make things better?
2007-03-26 23:44:26 · 6 answers · asked by Manya 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i don't ask 4 attn, he just calls & checks up on me all the time. as far as their contact, i doesn't have her phone # b/c she calls private all the time...and she rarely calls him. he gets upset b/c the rest of the family (his parents and brothers) don't acknowledge her, and i'm the only one who does and she takes anger out on me.
2007-03-27 16:17:43 · update #1
my dear, i want to start by telling you that God loves you more than everything and He has many other children but u are special to Him for the bible says even the hairs on your head hve been counted. concentrate on that love and you would discover you dont even notice that you are not noticed. To God, you are a perfect person. if you get that in your head, u will know what to say when your sister lashes out on you. just tell her thank you for reminding me of my beauty and perfection. ignore her, and when you really have to talk to her, do it with deep love and gentleness. its a matter of time. she will come to you.
2007-04-03 11:31:36 · answer #1 · answered by Daughter of God 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she has some issues. You're both a bit old to "beg for attention" from your Dad, don't you think?
Maybe you should just avoid her as much as possible, can't treat someone like dirt if they're not there. As far as starting fights - it takes 2 to make a fight. If you don't take the "bait" there will be no argument. After a while, she'll get the hint.
You imply your Dad had no contact with her as a child, and you said "she acts like she needs more". Maybe she does if they had no relationship before 4 years ago. It may help to put yourself in her shoes for a minute. After all, you have had 26 years with him, right? Could it be she's trying to make up for lost time? He raised you, he loves you, and that won't change because she's in his life now.
You can't control what she says and does. You can, however, control how you react to her.
2007-03-27 09:36:36 · answer #2 · answered by Vicki B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i m sure u share this feeling with ur dad. can u ask him to turn his back on her as the rest of his family has. let her have dad for a few yr to make up for lost time. work on u you! maybe a gastric by pass at 26 u r in the prime of ur life do not let small things hinder you. You know after all this u know who gets the familys eyes to focus on them ,and whatever u say!!!
2007-04-01 22:54:30 · answer #3 · answered by Dotr 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am reading your discription of what is going on, I am really having a hard time thinking that it is your sisters problem.
Before you freak out on me, I am going by experience ok.
My 1/2 sister showed up 20 years after my dad died. We all knew of her that she exsisted. But we were never exposed to her as children.
I have 4 blood sisters of my own and all of them including my self. were very sarcastic and took every thing she said and did out of context. Well we got rid of her.
Now two years later I sit and think about what we did, I am not proud. she only wanted to be a part of our lives. To get to know her sisters.
I would suggest first looking at your self see if there is possibly some resentment. Hidden in you.
I am not saying that that is what is going on.
If you really look at your self and find that that is not what is going on then.
Start spending time with her she is going to be defencive if the entire family is downing her and treating her like an outsider.
Stay away from conversations that involve things she gets defencive over, such as her relationships.
Just try to get to know her as a person. She will never fit in 100% with every one, but she should be able to feel comfortable when visiting her father. Your father is going to spend more time with her. He wants to get to know his daughter, they have a lot to work through. there are a lot of unresolved feelings. There are going to be a lot of hugs and tears and arguements that have absolutely nothing to do with you. It is between your sister and her father.
I know that this is not what you want to hear but it really is true. If dad is calling you and telling you what is going on between them just tell him dad that has nothing to do with me go talk to her about that.
that keeps you from being involved. we all get defensive if we feel our parent is being hurt. or put down or used. Let them work things out on their own.
Good luck I hope things work out for you and your 1/2 sis.
2007-04-03 14:23:01 · answer #4 · answered by angie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would just say if you try to feel good about yourself'it doesnt matter much what she feels.You might want to discuss this with her if you want, or else,ignore her. It goes away gradually.
2007-04-02 16:03:01 · answer #5 · answered by ajoke77 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she has issues or she's just jealous of you
2007-03-27 10:53:17 · answer #6 · answered by honey + biscuit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋