Friends not putting their baby in a car seat. What should I do?

Question

Some friends of mine have a 1 year old baby, who the Dad sometimes just puts on the front seat of their car when going out. If she is in a baby car seat she's not strapped in at all-just sits their rolling around- and it's a stage 0 car seat (ie up to 9 months old) so she's way too big for it to support her anyway. I've not seen the mum do this but she does know that he's never strapped her in properly when he puts her in her car seat, even from a very young age.

I've been asking them for ages when they're going to buy the next stage up seat (to try and make them realise they should already have one without letting on how shocked I am with them) and now they have bought one but they don't use it.

I don't know what to do! i can't believe they'd put her life at risk so stupidly, as they love her so much, but they are doing it and it's not just a one-off, it's all the time.
I don't want to lose them as friends, but how do i say something without doing that?

Answer 1

The baby's life is worth more than your friendship, report them NOW

Answer 2

You are going to have to make up a story about a terrible accident that happened to a friends baby or a news report you heard. Tell them the car was only travelling about 30mph when there was a collision and because the baby wasn't strapped in to a proper baby car seat, the baby shot through the window screen from the back seat and landed head first onto the road and was killed instantly. Maybe shock tactics will work.

Answer 3

I'm afraid the majority are right. There is no polite way of doing this. You are obviously deeply concerned and you need to let your friends know this. You need to tell them how frightened you are of upsetting them, but that you are really really concerned that they are putting their baby's life at risk. My mum and dad always say, "we never used to have things like that when you were kids", but then there weren't so many cars on the road and there weren't so many fast cars with idiot drivers. A few weeks ago I was hit whilst I my car wasn't even moving and even though I use a child seat I was still very grateful my daughter wasn't in the car.
On behalf of all the mothers in the world - please tell them!

Answer 4

I was in a similar situation to you a while ago.

Then my son (age 18 months then) was in a bad car accident with his childminder. There were 5 chidlren aged between 8 months and four years in the car when it skidded into the ditch (it was a people carrier). It became wedged between two trees and fire men had to cut everyoen out of the car. All the adults had quite severe injuries but there was not ONE mark on any of the children who had all been strapped in properlly in age appropriate car seats.

Every single one of the kids checked out fine, I told my friend this and it seemed to bring home to her just how important car seats are.

Answer 5

Go on the internet and print up some info on car seats and how vital it is to have a baby strapped in properly. They may think they are good drivers but they could get hit by a bad driver and that will put their babys life on the line. I got hit by a driver who ran a stop sign when my baby was 7 months old. It wasnt too bad but it was enough to have thrown her out of her car seat if she wasnt strapped in right. And even if they just get into a fender bender and the cops come to check it out, if they see that baby is not strapped in right they could get charged for that. Show them your info and tell them that you value their friendship and their babys life which is why you're showing them the info. Hopefully they'll start thinking about what a risk it is to keep doing what they're doing and they'll start keeping their baby safe in a car.

Answer 6

Maybe saying something like you know they only mean the best for their baby, but what they're doing is illegal and do they realize that they'll be fined $$$ (whatever the fine is where you live) if the police see them, and that they WILL see it and it's only a matter of time? Check the law where you live, they may even have more serious consequences that they don't know about.

I don't think you can get a whole lot more pushy about the issue without them dropping you as a friend, depending on how close you are to begin with.

Answer 7

I personally am not a seat belt wearer, But i enforce it with my children. I dont agree with how long a child has to be in a booster though, I feel 5 is old enough. But my 6 year old is still in one. Even though she cries begging to just wear the seat belt. I always take the time to strap them in.

You can turn them in, but this wont solve much, they will pay the fine and continue im sure. They should know the dangers of what could happen.

My parents give me crap for making my children because they say>>>> "when you were little we never used one.... nor did we use seat belts" This is true, but doesn't make it right. We were just lucky I guess. I would start by talking to the babies mom.... Just tell her your worried.

Answer 8

hey honey,

I would sit your friend down and tell her there is really something important that you need to say to her and she needs to listen - this will get her attention.

Then tell her how concerned you are and the dangers - use emotional argument.

Wait for her response - if she still doesn't see a problem with her actions and that of the dads then call the social services and report HIM. Okay she might find out it's you, but there is obviuosly something wrong in her head if she continues to do something so stupid!

All the best, Sophia

Answer 9

that is shocking

if you live in the uk though you can get fined as it is now against the law to have a child under a certain hight not in a chair.

you could try and talk to a family member and get them to talk to them or leave an anoumas call with social services its her life at risk. think how you would feel if you didnttell any one because they are your friends and then she died. i would then feel guilty if it was me so do the right thing remeber its a BABYS life a risk hear

Answer 10

REPORT THEM NOW, they need to know the risks they take when they fail to use a care seat, that is right I called it a care seat because if you care about your childs safety you will protect them and obey the law. It's sad parents will buy themselves bigger toys but fail to get there children what will keep them safe. Not much of a dad if you ask me.

Answer 11

You're right to want to do something to help, but obviously you don't want to compromise their friendship. What I suggest is to anonymously call the police and report that you've seen then doing this and give the licence number. They won't get prosecuted for this (well, unless the police actually catch them at it) but the police will visit them and lay down the law. They absolutely will not tell them who called. My sister used to work in a police station call centre and this sort of thing was called in all the time, and the police will follow it up. Hopefully this will scare them into acting a little more responsibly.