To sum it up, 31 y/o woman who seems well put together at first glance with career, finances, etc... interested in dating me. Yet all her friends are early/mid twenties, drunk and permiscuous, have already seen numerous pictures of her with them at the bars. The reason this is a concern to me is I am 34 y/o single dad (full time, not every other weekend) of a 3 y/o who comes before anyone, and I do not want any kind of chaos or drunk idiots around him. Just looking for opionions here. I must be hooked on yahoo answers cause normally I'd just go chill on my balcony and contemplate this for an hour by myself =P Oh, one more thing, I don't drink anymore...a .54 BAC and a trip to the hospital 6 years ago will cure you of that real quick.
2007-03-26 20:54:02 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
These are all such wonderful answers and I thank all of you as I go over the pros and cons. Jim Bs' second paragraph may have just sealed the deal though for the mental image that was just put into my head =P The bars in my town are in fact total meat markets which is why that statement hits me the way it does.
2007-03-26 21:17:47 · update #1
I must say I commend you for raising a 3 y/o in the manner you do sir. You are showing her responsibility at a very young age and that deserves respect.
With that said, is the woman you're contimplating a relationship with nieve? Is she irresponisble? If so? Then you have a problem, because nieve people can be tempted to do basically anything if they see their friends doing it.
My opinion (the root of this whole post) is to talk to the woman. I know first hand, that if a problem keeps repeating itself in my head I must confront the source of that problem.
You may find the answer you're looking for is a lot more optimistic than the thoughts you possess.
Take Care,
adam
2007-03-26 21:01:32 · answer #1 · answered by adam c 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
During your conversations, maybe you should bring up what you want for your child and what type of home life. But if it's too early for that conversation, just make sure that all the social interactions are being set up so that they can't get crazy and wild. For example, a nice quiet dinner at your house with no alcohol provided. Movies.
Get to know her a little more. You may see potential in her to quiet down her lifestyle. But don't try to change her. That will upset her.
My personal thought: She's a 31 y/o woman afraid of growing up. Committment and responsibility may be an issue.
2007-03-26 20:59:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since she's 31, which is a good time to stop acting like a 21 year old, you may be the person she needs to help her break her bad habits...but then again, if she's still hanging out with ho's and going to bars often enough to have pictures of herself in them, there isn't a man in the world that could help her.
Just think of this: She's obviously been going to bars since she was old enough, which makes me think that if she picked up just one dude per month while in a drunken stupor, for the last 10 years, that's 120 dudes. How about if she picked up one dude per week. EEWWWW!
2007-03-26 21:10:22 · answer #3 · answered by Jim B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi
It sounds like you're interviewing for a wife...You mention nothing about you being attracted to her or what she's like as a person beyond her career, finances and social circle.
My strategy would be to go out with her, talk about each other and gently (don't ask direct questions like where do you see yourself in 5 years time?) find out what her intentions are, what she likes, what she would never be able to do. Rule you should set. Do not introduce her to your little one before 2 months of dating her. People get attached to children and the other way around.
She might be hanging out with these people because they really are fun to go out but maybe she doesn't quite identify with them during the day. I'd say reserve judgement before you get to know her properly. But if your gut feeling says no then don't bother dating her because you will constantly be looking for evidence in her behaviour of who you think she is rather than the opposite.
Basically how about you give her a chance if you're attracted to her and try to enjoy yourself at the same time?
I hope it all works out the best way possible!
2007-03-26 21:07:23 · answer #4 · answered by syliamarina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello. I believe you already answered your own question. You don't want any headache or chaos around your 3 year old. The risk you are possibly taking with this woman are not worth the risk you are impossing upon your child. I'm sure she is attractive and sex is great..but the mental headache and BS that comes with such a woman is not worth it.
2007-03-26 21:02:07 · answer #5 · answered by waltbrian37 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really like her... like her warts and all.
If not... respect her friends and stay as friends.
You are not obliged to date her you know.
But everyone deserves chances. You cannot know the real her unless you invest time and effort. She has the right to indulge in any forms of activities so long she is a single adult.
No use speculating.
See the truths yourself.
If you really cannot accept her and her ways of life. Save yaself the trouble.
2007-03-26 21:00:16 · answer #6 · answered by glitzynicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok no it is not worth it she may be an interesting fling but unless she is a social or occasional drinker you will start drinking and bring that chaos into your house. if your child was older that might work as well but with her actions as you have described them and you having a balcony don't tempt fate any more than you have to. just my opinion is all.
2007-03-26 20:59:46 · answer #7 · answered by Bear_Polaroid 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you discover that you are dating someone who is unsuitable then drop them like a hot potato like i did last night. Especially if you have a child to think of. I don't have to worry about a child anymore but i don't need a creep either.
2007-03-26 21:00:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Read your question... you answered your own question! Would you not want someone in your life you would recognize how you prioritize? My opinion; you'd just have another kid at your hands...
Sorry to say this, as you must like her a lot to even consider....
2007-03-26 20:58:36 · answer #9 · answered by CJ O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No for the reason that is a lead into get your interest. What shop on with would desire to worry me. Yours is clever. do not enable the little issues worry you. watch for greater stuff which you would be able to administration.
2016-11-23 18:37:28 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋