A friend's boyfriend's table manners are disgusting - talking with mouth full, chewing with mouth open, waving cutlery when talking, guzzling shared food, elbows on the table . . . We'd love to all go out to restaurants but behaviour like this in public (or anywhere) is unacceptable - what should we do?
2007-03-26 20:44:50 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
If this were your own boyfriend, it would be appropriate to openly discuss this with him, with a genius sense of humor, of course. But, it would not be appropriate to discuss this with either your friend or her boyfriend. That would in itself be a breach of good manners far worse than this guy's atrocious table manners. But, this might work. Have a rather formal dinner at your home for eight. Really pour it on for formality and class. Invite only people you know who have outstanding table manners, to dine as examples, and seat your friend's boyfriend in a place where he would be the center of attention, not where he could hide. Set a formal table and atmosphere. Then, let this guy observe how others eat. If he tries, great. Make him feel as comfortable as possible. But, if he's absolutely oblivious and eats like a pig, dump him from your social life. He'll never be a pleasure of any kind worth your time or friendship if he doesn't care enough to "do-in-Rome-as-Romans-do" to be a part of YOUR world while at that fancy dinner. Most pigs are pigs because they care only about THEIR world. YOUR feelings mean diddly-squat to them. Why keep in contact with morons like that? But, if he makes an effort at the dinner to tone it down, give him a chance. Then, it's just about missing a chance to have learned how the eat with more cultured manners. He'd learn over time just by watching if he felt welcomed and safe at your table after that.
2007-03-26 21:03:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would probably have a chat with his girlfriend. Surely she sees the same thing you are seeing. I think the most appropriate person to talk to him about it would be her. But, it may really embarrass him once he is privy to the fact that he has horrible table manners and may not want to go out anymore. Hopeful he will be willing to learn how to behave like a civilized person at dinner and will take his girlfriend's advice if she decides to broach the subject. If she doesn't... I guess you just have to find other things to do that don't involve eating dinner together! Quite a dilemma, I must say.
2007-03-26 22:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by ppaper.wingss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's only a boyfriend.. with any luck she'll realize how gross he is and dump him and the problem will be solved! In the meanwhile, avoid dining with this fellow... enjoy other activities that don't involve meals.
If they wind up getting married or in a permanent relationship you'll have to decide on whether or not her friendship is worth tolerating his table manners... perhaps by then you'll discover other wonderful traits he has that will make you think better of him and worth putting up with his piggishness for.
2007-03-26 21:59:03 · answer #3 · answered by endorable 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate people who conceal at the back of manners to manage circumstances. Passive aggressive manners are as undesirable as spitting at human beings. i do no longer innovations swearing, if that's interior the stunning context. Manners are somewhat approximately showing due attention and admire. i think of the form of issues that wind me up, are issues like the guy that is going fishing on an identical place as me and he has a mouth like a foghorn. He in no way shuts up and spoils the peace that I savor. If in basic terms he might desire to study to speak with much less quantity.
2016-10-20 12:55:17 · answer #4 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take him with you to eat.If he asks you tell him.He is not a small child, you could be helping him out in life.Go into details when you tell him.I find other people to hang out with because of this very reason.Good luck and get him to stop that behavior.Have you spoken to your Friend about this?Do, soon.
2007-03-27 06:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by Maw-Maw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would bring it to his attention. He may not even realize he is the way he is.
If he does realize what he's doing, embarrass him. A simple parody of the way he eats should do the trick. No one likes being clowned on. It may not be the nicest way to approach it, but if he's going to disrespect you, he deserves what is coming to him.
2007-03-26 21:05:41 · answer #6 · answered by gdb_26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Worst possible situation ...
if your friend is understanding try explain her the situation .....
in most of the cases friends give importance to friends than boyfriend's .. I hope your friend also belong to the same category if you think she belongs to the other side, there is no other option than to avoid him....
2007-03-26 20:59:33 · answer #7 · answered by Life sucks . but u gonna love it 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Educate him. His Momma didn't teach him, his friends should. Then again, he could be showing off. This is a way that boys show off by acting like jerks. I don't understand it, it's just the way it is.
2007-03-26 20:55:19 · answer #8 · answered by my_alias_id 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is good. He is your boyfriend not a husband.
Congratulations.
Move on.
2007-03-27 00:05:08 · answer #9 · answered by Pacifica 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who cares? .. tell him if that make YOU feel better
2007-03-26 21:08:10 · answer #10 · answered by Taponoso 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋