i think im goign mad, what do i do?

Question

Ok. so my parents got divorced in 2001, and i REALLY dotn like it. im not on talking terms with my dad as hes just a *****, wo dont have a true relationship, it was fake when i met him in his home with his new wife =\.. my grades went down form an all A grader to Cs and Ds and now i got a bad result in my exams. My A levels are in the end of may, and im not studying. what do i do to make myself study and be happy? im happy in front of people, but im not happy when im alone and i NEED to study! i just cant do it. what DO i do? and oh, a note; i LOVE family, im really family orientated.

thanks everyone. ill try my best, and i dont know which answer i should pick as the best one since ALL of them are the best. :)
thank you all

Answer 1

Unfortunately, you cannot control how your parents (or anyone else) treat you. You need to decide that your happiness or contentment is not dependent on other people. You are the only one who can make yourself happy, sad, or angry. Take responsibility for your own happiness. If you need to be studying and improving your grades, then you need to buckle down and do that. Just make a conscious decision and do it.

Answer 2

Firstly you've got to understand that the bad grades are not going to hurt ANYONE as much as you. Once you truly understand that, you'll study for yourself, not to get back at anyone or because you "can't cope". Adult break up for all sorts of reasons. It's not about you; it's about them. As difficult as it is, take this anger you are feeling and channel it into the best "revenge" possible - which is to excell, get a good education, and not need any of them. That way, when you are with them, you will be so because you wish to be. You have to remind yourself that although this hurts, it's about THEM - not about you. Yes, you're a part of the family. You will always have mom and always have dad - the fact that you are part of them will never change. The fact that they are part of each other has. Don't be happy in front of people either, friend - if they don't know you're hurting, they can't reach out and give you what you need; to pretend is basically cutting your own nose off to spite your face because you are keeping yourself in this closed circle of pain. This kind of thing is difficult for EVERYONE concerned. You'll probably find they don't know how to handle your "happiness" - talk to them, and at least allow yourself the dignity of grieving for the type of family you had. If you don't, you will end up bitter and hurting and the way things are headed now - you'll be blaming them for becoming a failure when you really have what it takes to be a star. So be one- even stars have their dull moments, so allow yourself the grieving process. You haven't yet and that's why you're still in this way. Get angry but KNOW it. Get sad but ACKNOWLEDGE it. Talk, scream, do whatever you need to get those feelings heard and acknowledged by others too. 6 years is a long time to carry this around, no wonder you're in the state you're in.

If you love family - you'll eventually find great benefit in the extended family. Yes, you loved the old family, but surely you felt the unhappiness that wafted around. Happiness trickles down too, if you give it half a chance.

Answer 3

You sound like a great kid, and its very admirable that you are such a family person. Unfortunately, you had nothing to do with the divorce, although it did affect your life....my suggestions, even though I am on medication for depression and anxiety, I would recommend that you start thinking about your life, and I assume you live with your mom, so, focus on your school work and show your dad that he is the one who missed out on a good thing. In time you will heal, sometimes it takes a little longer than we expect, but your wounds will heal, just don't give up on yourself and getting caught up on using medication, but if you feel you need someone to talk to, see a therapist, that should help you more than meds. This is just depression over a broken family, not chemical imbalance, and I hope that you think more of yourself and strive to get back your good grades....think of your future not the past. Hope this helps you, and I wish you the best.

Answer 4

I'm the same way. My parents divorced when I was 3, and my father passed on in 2000.

Here's what I came to realize. Yes it's horrible that they got a divorce, but look at it this way. If they stayed together, they would fight constantly and never really be happy themselves. If you love family like you say, and like I think you do...you'll understand that in the long run it's best for everyone.

Just because they got a divorce doesn't mean you can't spend time with them...it just means the time you spend with them is while they are happier with themselves.

BTW with the studying, just hang in there, you sound like a bright kid, and you'll find it in yourself to work out all the kinks

Take Care,
Adam

Answer 5

I think what has happened, has happened. You have to accept that your family has been broken and it is a new life for both your parents. As for your studies, I suggest you try to concentrate on it as you need to graduate to find a good job. Don't jeopardise your studies and put your education at stake. As for your family problem, I think you need time to adjust to the changes and maybe if you talk it out with your mom or someone close to your family, they would be able to give you further advise and support. So don't worry, keep smiling and the world will smile with you!! You are not alone.

Answer 6

Hey, millions of people get divorced for one reason or another---that is life. The reasons were the ones that drove your folks apart--and it is personal. Now losing out in school is just plain silly--as hard as it is at this time, you need to get on with your life and stop making excuses--your future is up to you and not riding on dear old mom and dad. That is a fact. relax, be cool, see it for what it is and good luck, pal.

Answer 7

i understand precisely the way you sense. i respect this guy Ryan and only very last week he left and now I received't see him for yet another 3 hundred and sixty 5 days. each thing reminds me of him. I even call his call now and again to work out if he will answer. I even had a drem about him very last nighttime. I choose you the finest of success. in case you really love him, i believe solid issues can hapen. be affected individual. You never understand what could take position.

Answer 8

I would consider taking responsibility for my own business and realize my parents decisions are not for me to make. I also might think about grades that are failing and the fact I'm responsible to meet my goals and can't use my parents as an excuse not to. After all, they are done with school so I should focus on decisions that are my responsibility to make.

Answer 9

inability to focus could be a sign of depression. Go talk to a counselor, dont be ashamed of needing help!
Also you might want try these simple steps: Focus on your diet, try to eat healthier, go to bed at normal times regularly, journal your thoughts/feelings and finally channel some of that stress into sport or activity. If you try these things and really stick to them, you might find yourself feeling more at ease and able to focus on school.
Divorce is tough, sorry for your troubles- goodluck~

Answer 10

use schoolwork to occupy you . it is selfish of you to want only happiness for yourself. your mom and dad weren't happy together so for them to be happy a divorce was the answer. i'm not trying to be mean or anything, just try to see things from their point of view. hope things get better for you.