hello, my girlfriend was born without a sex drive. unfortunately i didn't find this out until after i fell in love with her! sometimes its months before sex. i dont know if i can handle it any more. im young, not ugly, and still have a sex drive. i have never cheated or came close. but, after repeated stints of 3 months or longer without sex, would i be wrong to find it some where else.
2007-03-26 19:50:36 · 23 answers · asked by espyking83 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
we have been together 5 years, we have had sex, and i have made it obvius several times.
2007-03-26 20:01:03 · update #1
You really shouldn't be seeking to have sex before marriage, first of all.
Secondly, you don't know a lot about women, as most men don't. Women normally have very little in the way of a sex drive, an it's not even remotely close or similar to that of a man.
Get a clue.
2007-03-26 19:53:29 · answer #1 · answered by Joe C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her. Let her know, gently, that you need a little more sex. Ask her if it's you that she's not attracted to, and then maybe mention that you don't think she has much of a sex drive, then say something like well i heard someplace that No sex drive can be a side effect of something really wrong with your body, and maybe she should go to a doctor and make sure everything is ok. Sometimes a pill will do the trick, or it really could be that something is wrong.
2007-03-27 02:59:43 · answer #2 · answered by knhglassey@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey--there are such things as mismatched people--you have described a complete mismatch in the love making department--so why torture yourself---it seems as if you you place sex high on the list of things that make a relationship--it's not working--so why stay??? Love ??? Love What?? She is not willing for one reason or another--I could suggest a million reasons but you already know you want more and don't dare investigate if there is a problem. So have a serious discussion about how you feel and what you think would be best for the both of you.That would be fair.
2007-03-27 02:58:02 · answer #3 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately sex drive is one of those things that has to match up with a person. Most likely it is a self confidence issue or she was raised to believe that sex is dirty so it makes her uncomfortable. Talk to her a little bit before you just bail or maybe find out what she likes. There is also the possibility that it just doesn't do it for her or that she likes something else but doesn't know it yet. Just take some time with her first before going and looking for it somewhere else. Sex is easy to come by, but you obviously love eachother and that is a lot harder to find...
2007-03-27 02:56:38 · answer #4 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, (and fortunately), I believe in order to well matched, you must be matched sexually as well as all the other ways that make it possible to wake up to the same person every day... (if you're going to marry her)?
I decided to not marry a guy I had been seeing for a while because his sex drive was way lower than mine, and I couldn't imagine the years to come of having to be frustrated about it! And the fights. We fought about it. Or, I should say, I fought with him about it. At first it really p-iss-ed me off. But eventually, I knew :"this is how he is made." And I broke up.I found some who enjoyed sex as much as I.
does that help...?
ps.. There is counseling for sex, I do believe?
2007-03-27 02:57:24 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like they profess, If he would just be honest with me. Do it. Be honest with her and tell her what is what and try not to beat around the bush as it loses quality. Be what women expect, direct, honest, sincere and at all times be polite. Tell her why but be polite and you do not have to apologize. It is not your fault. " Honey we are just not compatible and instead of making you miserable with the constant begging and asking for the things that are normal, I am going to find what works for me in life. Polite, to the point and I don't think that she can misconstrue too much of that statement. It is about time we address the concerns of the feminine gender and give them some of the resolution to the complaints they have. We have been self centered too long by beating around the facts in respect of their feelings, lied around the real problem to show we care and do not want to give them additional problems of insecurity or low self esteem. If it does not work for you, be upfront and be a man and tell them so. The more straight forward you are the sooner they will get over whatever their hangup or gameplan is. This style will benefit their emotional make up, create less time spent thinking up new things to make them happy, help them on down the road to find their destiny or whatever makes them tick. The longer you are compassionate the more it willcost you. Cut your losses but be nice and the most current news is about chivalry. It has been devaluated due to the injustice observed in our system. Let her practice equality and show her how to open her own door and feel free to enter first as she is capable of getting in by herself.
2007-03-27 03:04:06 · answer #6 · answered by g_menagerie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, Did you ever think you are the problem why she doesn't have a sex drive?? I think she would be better off without someone like you. Get a life and grow up.
Clowmy
2007-03-27 03:00:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get rid of her, find someone who actually puts out. Your only human. Dump her before you go look else where, you will save her feelings that way. It is always hard to get over someone you love, but better than being sex deprived.
2007-03-27 02:55:18 · answer #8 · answered by juniper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't break up with her first, then yes, it's very very wrong. Talk to her, explain the issue. Find out what's going on with her, explain your feeling...find out if there is a psychological or medical issue decreasing her desire. If sex is important enough to you, then break up. But don't cheat, that's just wrong--and you'll probably end up breaking up anyway, just with more pain and drama.
2007-03-27 02:55:34 · answer #9 · answered by Qwyrx 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously the relationship is not going to work. Before you go and do something stupid, end the relationship(no matter how hard it is) and move on. There is never a reason to hurt someone over sex.
2007-03-27 02:54:33 · answer #10 · answered by C D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋