My spouse passed away at the end of November, 2006. It was quite unexpected and I grieve each and every day. We had been together for 13 years and were very close. I miss him terribly and would give anything to have him back with me. I know its just been a few months since his passing, but I feel so very lonly and scared at times. Is it acceptable to start dating? I have always been "male dependent" to a certain degree. I feel guilty even thinking of dating someone. But being alone is not healthy for me. I think I would consider getting remarried someday, as I am 55 now & don't have a whole lot of time to waste. I need some advice on this subject as I have never really lost anyone this close to me before. There is a gentleman that I find myself thinking about a lot, but yet I feel guilt right along with it. I had never cheated on my husband but yet I feel like I am now.
2007-03-26 19:15:51 · 8 answers · asked by baploop1 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The only “acceptable” time to wait depends solely on how you personally feel about it, as each person is different. You, and only you, will truly know when you are ready to be in a serious relationship again.
(Personally, I think that seeing someone new after the death of a husband/wife isn’t cheating.)
If you are feel guilt over these thoughts, and feel that you are “cheating”, it is most likely because you haven’t emotionally healed enough yet from the loss of your husband.
My suggestion would be to wait with regards to dating anyone until you have given yourself more time to heal…and don’t pressure yourself into dating anyone. Pressuring yourself is pretty much a sure way to cause yourself further anguish later on.
In the meantime, I would suggest focusing on developing friendships, perhaps with the gentleman you refer to, as well as with others. This should also ease some of your feelings of being lonely and scared (it always helps to have friends to talk to)…as well as relieve any tension you may feel from your self-described “male dependent” nature. Over time, you might find that one of these friends would make for a good relationship…but trying to date before you are really ready will only hurt you (and probably him).
2007-03-26 19:47:36 · answer #1 · answered by ATS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You shouldn't worry about what other people think. If your husband loved you, he would want you to be happy. I think you should get out there and start living your life, whether that means dating or growing a garden. You need to be happy. There is no right answer to this, because the fact is that you will grieve for him in some way for the rest or your life, but that doesn't mean you should stop living it. You are the only person who has to live your life- that makes you solely responsible for your happiness. Those who would judge you, or put a number on how long you have to wait before dating again, don't have to live your happiness or suffer your sadness. It's yours, and yours alone. Make yourself happy, and don't feel any guilt for it. It doesn't hurt anyone. Enjoy.
2007-03-26 19:26:23 · answer #2 · answered by Lesley M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel like you are cheating just thinking about another man after your husband died, then you are not ready to start dating. If you do date, then do not talk about how well you got on with your husband and how you miss him. It puts your date in the position of not being able to fill the role of next husband. Men like to date a fun person. So when you are ready you will not feel guilt, and not talk about him, but be someone who someone else would like to take out and date.
Life is short, enjoy each day.
2007-03-26 19:23:32 · answer #3 · answered by Tinribs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is entirely up to you, the greiving period is different for each person. I would hope that you are aware of your own emotions and are not wanting to get into a relationship just to replace your late husband. I understand the need for companionship in life and do not think that if you are being honest with yourself about your emotions that anyone should judge you. No one should ever replace your late husband in your heart, or in your life, but you can find someone special to spend the rest of your life with and not have to be alone.
2007-03-26 19:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by D mon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think when you are comfortable being yourself, which you may need time to really understand, because try not to become the wife you were for someone else, that should be left behind...become the women you want to be and find a suitable man to share that person with...try and take as little emotional baggage into your next relationship as possible, because I fear you won't and will have alot of heart ache trying to replace your husband.
2007-03-26 19:22:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
certainly she has you in her life to help her get previous the discomfort. dealing with grief is a sluggish technique, she is going to would desire to get previous this herself till now she gets in contact with somebody else. she would be very susceptible for an prolonged time, and might make unwise possibilities if she does not appropriate artwork with the aid of her grief. i think of she permit you to appreciate whilst she is able to pass out with adult men returned. meanwhile, be there for her and inspire some team events with different girlfriends to help ease her back into some semblance of normality.
2016-11-23 18:32:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends really...
It depends if you ready to love again...
If I was you I would start dating in around June
2007-03-26 19:19:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
after a spouse passes?
right after the funeral .. go to a hotel and ride em cowboy! yee haaw!
2007-03-26 19:19:51 · answer #8 · answered by Kewlchikka 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋