Engagement Ring Sagas...?

Question

Ok, so now that lots of people I know are getting married I've noticed something. If a girl doesn't like her engagement ring she's told that she's "shallow" and should just be happy with the "thought." This ISN'T only for girls with small rings, either. Some got huge, gaudy Elizabeth Taylor-style sets from their guys who obviously didn't take the time to see what the chick's tastes were. I think that if I'm going to be wearing this thing on my hand for (hopefully) the rest of my life I should have at least some say in what it looks like. My boyfriend was taken aback by the idea that I would want to go with him to pick it out and he seemed sort of offended. Why? My parents did that and have been together almost 40years! And why do guys ***** about paying 2 mos salary for something you're going to wear forever when they pay more than that for things like speakers and crap! I even offered to get him a kind of "engagement memento" to make it equal. Why are we made out to be the bad guys?

Answer 1

If there is a fight over the engagement ring, maybe you should sit down and talk before getting married.

2 months salary is a marketing gimmick to get people to spend more money on a ring. That said I spent 2 months salary (before taxes) when I bought my wife's ring, but I had that money saved. We did have to make some sacrifices when we bought a new house and paid for our own wedding.

Not everyone feels the engagement ring is important.

You need to talk to your boyfriend and reach a compromise. I went out to bought the diamond myself, and I let her set it.

It may be a little conceited and shallow but I enjoyed hearing that the doctors in her office wanted to know what her husband did for a living after staring at the ring.

You need to decide what is important to you, and if it is the engagement ring, make your boyfriend know it.

Answer 2

Here's my story...

I got one ring and found out some bad stuff that was tied to the ring (previous engagement ring was "traded" for a different ring) It was what I thought I wanted but I when I put it on all I could do was cry.

On our 1year together anniversary...he took me and allowed me to pick from a couple of choices. I picked a ring and then he told the jeweler that he wanted the same ring only with a bigger stone. I didn't care for the bigger diamond but after some careful thought...I told him that if he wanted to spend the $700 extra on the bigger diamond--I couldn't stop him. The lady at the store actually laughed when she heard I wanted a smaller diamond.

Now I have gotten used to the ring and absolutely LOVE it.

We are getting married April of 2008.

"We" girls just need to remember that no matter how much he wants to spend on a ring or how big or small the diamond is...it is a symbol of love. (my financee' actually said that "the bigger diamond makes it harder for guys to miss the fact that I'm a taken girl" "I want to make sure someone a hundred yards away knows that your my girl".

Answer 3

Hey I'm a Guy. And You Are Absolutely 100% right!

You gotta Look at the DaRN thing Everyday, not the deceased 'great-great-great-Grannie' for some...

So here's a tip: if you have a common female friend, ask her to "advise" him on the style you would probably like.
Because he will ask like 20 people of their opinion, and who would know your taste better than your 'best friend'?

If He Says, "But, It's Been Passed Down In The Family For Generations" and it is Ugly, Then feel free to Reply from any of the following:
a.) "We Can Bring That to An End Quickly."
b.) "Ask the Ring To Bear Your Children!"
c.) "Can We Get This Insured? I Tend to Lose Stuff A Lot."

(That's "Guy Language," Don't Worry He'll Get it. ;-) Good Luck.)

Answer 4

I think it is the thought that counts and I think that guys complain about paying 2 months salary about the ring when we as women make it seem like the amount of $$$ he spends is all that matters. When we make a big deal about the monetary value of the ring it loses the sentimental value that its supposed to have. When you place too much importance on the price and how it looks you take away from the fact that this is a supposed to be a symbol of someone's love and you can't put a price on that. An engagement ring symbolizes that a man wants to spend the rest of his life with a woman and you can't put a price on that either.

Answer 5

It's just a marketing ploy - the bit about it being two months' salary - not true at all - just came from the advertisers for jewellery and diamond merchants.
I think it's really special when the guy chooses and buys the ring. It is, after all, highly symbolic and a mature woman would realize the kind of ring, the cost, etc. shouldn't matter worth a whit. That's a mature woman.
Your bf had the "right" reaction - and maybe he has learned a little more about you over this....

Answer 6

It IS about the thought dear. A guy does NOT have to blow 2-3 months of his hard-earned money on an engagement ring if he doesn't want to.

If the diamond is too big for you, maybe, just maybe, I can agree with expressing some concern. Politely though, not like a selfish, materialistic, whiny drama queen.

Too many women these days are selfish witches and care more about the rock than the man. An engagement ring is special and should be treated as such. As for the man, treat him like he's the best there ever was...because that's what he should be to you. Nothing more, nothing less.

Answer 7

Someone who is asking you to marry them should care enough about your feelings to consider them when picking the ring. Obviously you're going to wear the ring for the rest of your life and he should want you to be proud (and comfortable) doing so.

If an man does not take his girlfriend's feelings, style, taste, etc., into selecting an engagement ring, then the ring really isn't for her, is it?

Answer 8

I think my ring is pretty but its not what i really want....my ring has been passed down from 3 generations, and it has value to it, and since im the only daughter to be in my fiancees life ( family) i was fine with it as long as for now i could pu tit in my own setting....i did and it is ok, we will get another ring for me in about 3-4 years after we are married just so i can have my own ring and when we have children we will pass the ring on down the line as well, its a family tradition, good luck, if your to be hubby loves you, he wont mind...

Answer 9

i picked out my engagement ring, which my boyfriend was quite happy about since he would rather me like it than not like one he chose for me.
i already had an idea of what i wanted and when i saw it we werent actually looking for it. i have very small hands so only wanted a small diamond on it, so it was cheaper than probably most, however even if i hadnt wanted a smaller one for that reason, i still would not want a really expensive ring, thats just ridiculous, what if you lose the rock? i hardly ever wear mine anyway because it gets caught and also scratches my baby sometimes.

Answer 10

I agree. It's something that you'll have to wear everyday for the rest of your like... you should at least like it. What my FH and I did was look at rings online. I showed him what styles I liked; he showed me what styles he liked, etc. We discussed our likes and dislikes, so when he went ring shopping, he had an ideal of my likes and dislikes. And honestly, even if he'd bought me a ring that I didn't like, I would've worn it proudly because it was from his heart.

As for 2 mos salary, that's just a marketing scheme leveraged by the jewelry industry. I couldn't care less if he spent 1 wks salary vs. 2 mos. It is the thought that matters.