I am a divorced woman who met a guy 10 mo. ago. We were perfect together & our time spent together has always been awesome. Things moved quickly, he talking about our future together, moving in together, etc. Even when I went to Ca. to visit my friends, he flew down to see me over the weekend. I need to tell you we live 5 hours away from one another & he is married. He completely changed when he came back from Ca. Making excuses, avoiding talking to me etc. We got back together twice, & then he went back to ignoring me again. We finally had a phone conversation, to which I felt I had some kind of closure. 2 weeks later, he txts me telling me how much he loves me & is leaving his wife & wants to move on with his life (with me). 3 weeks ago, he flew me over to spend 5 days with him in his new apt. We had a blast & he talked again about "US" together, future etc. Well guess what?He is now ignoring me again. I am truly heart broken, but I know I need to move on!Why would he do this to me?
2007-03-26 18:23:00 · 9 answers · asked by s p 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I know this has really hurt you and I sympathize deeply with your pain, and certainly wouldn't want to add to it, but I think you may be mourning something that never existed (I know that doesn't make it less painful).
He was married when you met him, and the whole time he was dating you he was showing that is not capable of trustworthiness, that he would casually hurt someone that he deeply loved (his wife) just because it was convenient.
He pretty much showed you who he was the whole time. Then he did the same thing to you that he did to his wife (who he covenanted with, and showed how little value he actually places on 'love', however he defines it).
Let me tell you a hard truth: He probably views you as someone he can fool around with, and that's why he's suddenly laying on the 'I love you; I'm leaving my wife' bs. Unfortunately that's been the whole tone of your relationship, and for him it's a great deal. He gets two different women (or more) that he gets to use whenever he wants with no strings attached.
I know you're probably in great pain over this but please don't get sucked back into this thing again. Affairs hurt *everybody* and you deserve a real relationship. You mention the time you've put into this thing (10 months) and I'm sure that there's part of you that doesn't want all that time and energy to be wasted. Well it won't be if you learn from this, but if you get sucked back in you'll find yourself wasting 11 months, 12 months, and on and on.
Good luck
2007-03-26 18:33:15 · answer #1 · answered by Jon S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi... I do not know how old you are or young.... however you are in the same boat I am... I am divorced too, and was in the dating scene until just recently...this guy is playing you and wanting to know how far you will go...tell him you will not have sex with him anymore...he is NOT WORTHY OF YOU!!!!! Until he understands that, he will never accept your worth as a woman or a lover.....meanwhile... accept yourself as the goddess that you are and always will be, and you will get a man that is worthy of your love.
2007-03-26 18:34:42 · answer #2 · answered by jujubeings 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he did it because he knows you will accept it and forgive him after all. you don´t have to settle for that. a married man? no way. and you´d better not go running like a dog next time he calls you. you deserve better than this... where is your self-esteem?
2007-03-26 18:29:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a problem. Dump him. Kick him to the curb. Ignore him. Move on.
2007-03-26 18:30:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask the man. I think he is a frickle minded man. He is not up to it I guess sort of chicken out?
2007-03-26 18:27:56 · answer #5 · answered by Ashley 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
coz he's playin you, he probably just wants down your pants....he's a jerk move on do your really want to be with someone who's already cheated on his wife with you? whats to say he wont do the same if he gets with you...
2007-03-26 18:32:54 · answer #6 · answered by Cassie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a. He undecided on his marriage and just keeping you as an option
b. He is just using you.
I would suggest leaving him.
2007-03-26 18:33:25 · answer #7 · answered by Sean 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he is a jerk and just forget about him
2007-03-26 18:27:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cuz he dont know what he really want............................and thats the problem
2007-03-26 18:30:05 · answer #9 · answered by night_age_germany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋