How to deal with cancer patients?

Question

If you have loved ones who suffered from cancer, or if you're a cancer patient yourself, how do you deal with it?
How tough is it to cope?
Tell me about your story, or how you feel?

Answer 1

There are all kinds of things to deal with. Fear of death, other people being uncomfortable with the subject, hair loss, etc. The best thing a person can do is educate themselves about the cancer and the treatments they'll be going through. It's important that the family have a clear understanding of what the treatments will entail and what to expect.

Support is very important. The patient should look for all the support possible. This is the time to accept favors and let others do for them. It's important that the patient guard their health by taking it easy and let others take on chores. Also, it helps loved ones if they have something concrete to do. If people say, "Let me know if there's anything I can do" have an answer ready. Reply that they could provide transportation to a medical appointment or bring in a casserole. It helps others to have something to do.

Contact the American Cancer Society. They're at www.cancer.org They offer tremendous help and support. They'll know where there are group support meetings for cancer patients. They'll loan you wigs. They can refer you to counselors who deal with cancer patients and death.

I hope this information will be helpful to someone.

Answer 2

I haven't had cancer, but my parents and grandmother all did and so did a childhood friend who died of leukemia at age 12. I now take care of cancer patients as a doctor and see it from a different perspective as well.

From my experience and listening to my patients, the emotional/psychological stress differs from one type of tumor to another. Overall, I think it's scary to think that a part of your own body is 'out of control' and makes people feel that way about their lives sometimes. Even after treatment has been successful, I know my parents' still dread seeing their oncologists for fear of it coming back even decades later.

Often the fear involved for the a cancer patient and those that know them (both friends and family) will bring out the best and worst in everyone. Some family and friends become more distant to protect themselves emotionally, while some will surprise you and offer more than you ever expected to help.

Not everyone copes the same with a cancer diagnosis or treatment, but overall I have learned a ton from patients I see that accept uncertainty about what events lie ahead but live each day to the fullest. Easier said than done, and no one can do that all the time. However, I feel that I'm lucky to have a chance to help cancer patients and learn from them how I can meet much lesser challenges with a similar sense of peace with myself.

Answer 3

I think that watching my boyfriend live with cancer is the toughest thing I've ever had to deal with in life. Cancer is a horrible disease that just literally takes everything you have to give it. I see him tough things out, lose his hair, have no taste for anything, lose alot of weight rapidly, have literally no energy to do anything. It's horrible, he gets through by just toughing it out and continuing through life like there is nothing keeping him from living. He doesn't sit and feel sorry for himself he goes out and does things like anyone else would, and I think that takes an extreme amount of perserverence and self pride to do that. It was hard for me to cope with it at first and it still is today, i still cry and wish that he was healthy and he could do the things that he wants to do. But, i'm also really proud of him. he takes a chemo pill, and continues to do things when I know it kills him to do it. It's hard to cope, we both just try to enjoy everyday that god grants him on earth. It's overwhelming, stressful and tough, but i wouldn't change anything it has made me a stronger person.

Answer 4

My Mom died from Cancer of the Cervix, which had spread to her bones and other parts of the body.

It is the most heartbreaking experience of my life. I was younger and had never experienced more than a common cold at home. I had no idea how to deal with it, none of us did. We kept encouraging her that she would be fine that she would live. Her sisters also encouraged her the same. It was too painful to see her go down each day.

I would force her to eat, and I always feel guilty about it, because she couldn't take it. And force her to take some herbal medicines, saying it was good for her. I pray to God to forgive me for this ignorance which has no excuse.

Sometimes she would lose her temper, in terrible pain. And others beg us not to disturb her, and let her sleep.

A day before she died, she called all of us to her bedside and apologised profusely to all of us, that she had not done enough for us in life.. yet she is the one person that I thank God for who I am today.

I'm sorry for all I did and I pray, can't do much now.

God bless you, take care.

Answer 5

From personal experience, it is very tough. Especially, as in my case when my dad had cancer, there was no hope of survival.
Basically, in a nutshell, you have to try to be strong for them, reassure them that things will be okay after they are gone. But, honestly, I found he did more of the reassuring for us. It is one of the most devastating things to lose someone to, as there are so many rumours about a hidden sure for cancer, tied in in bureaucratic tape somewhere.
It is not easier, I believe, because you are able to "say goodbye", but I suppose it is better than sudden death, where so many things are left unsaid.
It has been 6 years since my dad has been gone, and I still cry a lot, I still miss him so very much....

Answer 6

We just found out my Mom has lung cancer. Momma has always been kinda self-centered through our life. I am the oldest of 5 kids.{47-35}Our Daddy died 23yrs ago with lung cancer. I am still not over that and miss him very much! Our only brother died with a heart attack just 2 yrs ago. There was no warning,just gone! He was Mom's favorite and it was very obvious to everyone, I'm honestly not just being selfish! The 4 of us sisters have remained very close,but my Mom and my brother distanced their selves from us. As my Daddy lay dieing,I walked in the hospital room and heard my Mom telling him she wished he would go on and die and stop putting her thru this! I was so angry and have prayed for help to not hate her. This past week-end I went and stayed with her and her husband to help do what I could. I cleaned, cooked and did whatever she ask me to do. I honestly just wanted to be there for her. She would close her bedroom door saying she did'nt feel like talking, but I heard her talking on the phone to one of my sisters, she has no close friends, about me doing this or that,something she'd asked me to do! She made me feel like she did'nt want me there. I ended up coming home hurt like she usually makes me feel! She told me it was o.k. to go cause Nick{her husband} did'nt want me there anyway,but the whole time he was telling me how greatful he was to me! Mom said she would need me more after they start chemo. I have thought about it and I really don't know what to do! I still remember how she did my Daddy and think it's pretty ironic that she now has the same thing. I am still praying for guidance.

Answer 7

Cancer is part of life and in life you need to stay focused and positive all the time to succeed. Doctors can diagnose the disease,can give you medicine but nothing more.The most important thing is to back yourself or your loved ones.
Show them you care, make them believe they can come out of it. It is the self belief. You can enhance it with different methods. Most common of these would be to make the patient enjoy his life by care. Some would prefer to take the patient to places he/she enjoys. Other will refer to religion. It is self belief or believe in Allah that just helps you lift your spirits.
Again i would underline the same thing.It is mental thing.Stay positive.
My cousin survived cancer,just by having the belief.

Answer 8

Well in the course of five years I lost my Grandmother who raised me & my aunt to cancer.
My Grandmother was 67 when she died , she had uterus cancer. My aunt was 50 when she died of lung cancer this was very hard on us all ,but somehow we made it through ,I guess that you dont realize how strong you are until you have to face these things we all are made to somehow cope with these things & family & friends help so very much I dont think I could have made it through without their support. And the memories give you pleasure everyday of your life!

Answer 9

to see someone go through the nightmare of treatments sucks, I just remember the good memories. I pray to them always and think of them and how they touched my life.