My mother wants to be cremated when she dies (she's not dying *now* btw) but I don't like the thought. I believe keeping the body in a coffin is much more respectful to the person's life. She's set on this decision though, so how can I learn to handle it?
2007-03-26 18:05:30 · 19 answers · asked by Jen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I wanted to be buried for a long time, cremation never appealed to me. But in the last 2 years I have changed my mind. Maybe if I tell you why you might have a little understanding. When those hurricanes hit New Orleans... there were these grave sites that went ashore. They had a heck of a time identifying all the corpse that had washed up. It was a mess and that scared me. I kept thinking what a hassle that has to be for the living relatives. I would never want my children to go thur something like that. I just think it is a better situation for my kids not to have to worry about the cost and maintaining a site with there own busy lives to lead.
2007-03-27 02:13:14 · answer #1 · answered by airymom4 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
eventually her body will be dust anyway. What does it matter if it takes a few minutes or 100 years? Respecting the persons life would be to follow their wishes. In her case it is to be cremated.
2007-03-26 19:09:56 · answer #2 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is like many parents, we do not want to leave the burden of the cost of the funeral on your shoulders. Some cannot even afford to purchase insurance. Cremation is the cheapest way to handle the situation. You may want to take an insurance policy out on her so there will be money for funeral. You can also make the policy so you can have extra money to help you through your morning process. If you take a policy out for her and make it so there will be extra money for you, she may change her mind. I want to be thrown in the swamp because I do not want my children to have the expense. No lie. The law won't allow.
2007-03-26 18:21:32 · answer #3 · answered by grannywinkie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yikes! That's so hard. We never want to think of our parents passing on. We especially don't want to have to think of the details of what to do once it happens.
What you need to do as her daughter who loves her, is to talk to her about how you feel, but also let her know that you respect her wishes and if she feels that strongly about it then you will do as she asks.
Funerals and burials are so personal. The funeral is for the living .. family and friends left behind, the burial is for the deceased...they lived their life in that body and it's thier choice as to what they want done with it when they go.
I lost my baby brother and my father in "02 and it's probably the hardest thing I've ever been through. My mother, sister and I had to choose coffins and burial sites and it was an emotional nightmare!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A long with dealing with them passing you have to make decisions about that stuff. If she's deciding for you to make it easier for you once she's gone then let her feel at ease about it.
You will come to terms with her wishes only once you are really faced with her passing. Until then don't let the idea of it invade your life. Enjoy your time with her. You can never know when anyone in your life will die, so enjoy the time you have with your family and friends.
2007-03-26 19:04:25 · answer #4 · answered by Kris17 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This happened to my brother, that's what he wanted, and that's what we did, its her choice and you have to respect her request...dont know what religion you are but when we had to do this to him my thought was is the body is not what matters its the soul, and really my lasting remembrance of him was how he looked when he was alive and well, not what he looked like laying in a coffin....sorry for being maybe morbid but this was just how it felt at that time...
2007-03-26 22:48:29 · answer #5 · answered by Renee 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I told my husband that I wanted to be cremated and he totally freaked out, but those are my wishes, my ashes can be spread where I choose to be, and underground or in a mausoleum is not the place I want to be....I want those that love me to remember me, alive and happy, don't want anyone to go to one particular place that will always make them sad to visit, because I would be remembered on my last days on earth....just accept the fact that your mom has her wishes and that is what is important to her. Don't think too much about it now, since she is not dying but comfort her...I am still trying to convince my husband. Good Luck to you.
2007-03-26 19:29:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Think first if you are sticking to a budjet. They might not afford the service if they do not cremate your mother's body.
Or maybe your mother has a disease in which it will still spread if they do not cremate the body. (Not that I am saying your mother has a disease or something--- I am not sure)
Sorry for that...
2007-03-26 19:18:34 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
i also want to be cremated so i might be a bit biased... when i die my spirit will no longer be in my body so idoesnt seem reasonable to go through all the trouble and money to be buried. and in the future my family wont have to worry about maintance fees or the cemetary being moved... if i was in an urn they can take my ashes with them where ever they move to
2007-03-26 18:26:22 · answer #8 · answered by brookieboo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't believe it is a matter of handling it.It is more just understanding your mothers wishes.Just as you would want your wishes to be honored so does she.A persons life is not clarified ,defined nor honored by the means of their burial.It is honored by their remembrance ,the things they have done the manor they lived their life.By honoring their wishes of burial you are honoring their life.Because it is the living which has to complete the final journey of the body of the deceased.
2007-03-26 18:24:47 · answer #9 · answered by ddstantlerstill 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, in Buddhism, the body must be cremated, so there is no debate about that. I suggest respecting her wishes.
2007-03-26 18:09:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋