He has a heart of gold and would give you the shirt off his back. That is how people describe him. He's been hurt in past relationships and wants to develope a friendship before a relationship. We've been "growing" a friendship over the past 3 months, He makes all the advances - I respond to show him I am interested, too. Things were going very well between us. Then all of a sudden he completely backed off and has been doing things that are uncharacteristic of him. The last time I spoke with him he said that he's just been "really busy" - that's all it was. I've been giving him space because I think he is afraid of the feelings he's been having and will be back when he resolves these issues. I haven't been calling him because I don't want to appear needy or be a pest. Would you wait for him to come around, confront him about his behavior or ask him out? Walking away isn't an option.
2007-03-26 17:46:20 · 5 answers · asked by Ms. Gump 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Ah, the love bug has bitten.
He is guarding his heart and trying to figure out exactly where you fit in his life. You are doing all the right things. Listen very carefully, because what you do next can make or break this relationship. He is in protective mode, a good sign that he likes where the relationship is going. Do not confront him, smother him, question him, or pressure him. Just keep being you. When he is ready he will make the next move, you just keep on, keeping on. And although we both know you are a bundle of nerves, maintain your cool and appear UNAFFECTED. Not cold, or aloof or uninterested and you don't have to walk on egg-shells either. Just remain funny, witty, happy go-lucky and keep the conversations short and light. And keep busy.
When the urge strikes you to call because you miss him-DON'T. Give him the gift of missing you. Remember you can take it or leave it. Men that have been hurt in the past expect the same behavior from past relationships to rear their ugly heads. You give him that, you might as well pack for him. Be confident and remember....you are the Queen and he must prove himself to be worthy of being in YOUR court! You keep that attitude, you keep the man.
2007-03-26 18:00:48 · answer #1 · answered by LisaLou 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm in the same situation. First, it hurts like hell...the sudden change in attitude, no more calls at all hours of the day and night, no more attention and worst of all with no explanation; not even a "go to hell!" I'll tell you what I've done so far...and it's only been a week. I did confront him and asked what was going on...like you didn't get a satisfying answer ("very busy"), then I thought it was something I said or did, so I apologized and nothing happened. The truth, trying to talk to him and get him to explain has just left me feeling worse and frankly, pretty humiliated. So I've decided to put on the happiest face and best attitude that I have and flaunt it in front of him every time and everywhere that I get the chance. If he ever cared, then he'll notice and realize that he's lost something good and maybe, just maybe, come around. If not, then moving on must be an option. If he does come around, then you'll have the power to either be humble and take him back after all the hurt and trouble, or to break his heart and ego by telling him "bye bye." But unlike him, I would give him an explanation; something like "I hope you don't mind, but I think I'm gonna have to say no....I've decided that I deserve better."
2007-03-26 18:13:28 · answer #2 · answered by justanothergirl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him out... Tell him that no matter what is going on in his life you will help him grow with it... Show him you are not going to hurt him...I think he has got a fear of being hurt AGAIN..
2007-03-26 17:52:05 · answer #3 · answered by tuffchevy86 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he may feel that he need to back away from this. but you need
to talk to him and find out what really is going on. it not fair
to you to keep you in the dark if he want his space then the
need to be honest with you.
2007-03-26 17:52:31 · answer #4 · answered by luckystar 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your going to have to assure him that you wont hurt him too, its going to be hard, but that it
2007-03-26 17:53:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋